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| Nate sez HIYA GURLS! |
Dewey The Freak
Dewey used to work as a freak in a sideshow at the Carnival.
When Dewey was still a young lad he got all bent out of shape. He started wearing his heart on his sleeve. He had a crush on a cheerleader, but she crushed him instead. She gave him the cold shoulder. Since then he’s had ice water in his veins.
He’d taken to saying that beauty was only skin deep, but he could really get under your skin. He’s such a bare bones kinda guy.
He got a job in the sideshow when the Carnies noticed he was pig-headed & two faced. He was a bald faced liar having a bad hair day. He had a big mouth but he was armed to the teeth. He was always biting off more than he could chew. He often spoke with a forked tongue, but he was always getting tongue-tied, except when the cat got his tongue. He was incredibly thick headed. He had mud in his eye & egg on his face. He used to keep his nose to the grindstone, but the pain was unbearable so he cut off his nose to spite his face. His eyes are bigger than his stomach.
Ever since the cheerleader fiasco, Dewey had butterflies in his stomach. His stomach was tied in knots. He was busting a gut. He had a bug up his butt. He had an ace in the hole. He was ass backwards & had ants in his pants.
His left hand didn't know what his right hand was doing. That’s why all the time he’d be getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Then he’d offer to give you a hand but he’d be all thumbs.
After that, the Carnies gave him an earful. Dewey was all ears. Even with a frog in his throat, his mouth was writing checks his body couldn’t cash.
When he lost his job at the Carnival, he really had his back against the wall. He didn’t have a leg to stand on & he was getting cold feet. Even though he had two left feet he felt like he was getting off on the wrong foot. He tried to tell his brother Hewey, they were joined at the hip, but he put his foot in his mouth. He felt like he had one foot on a banana peel & the other in the grave.
His brother split. He said Dewey had changed. He had a stick up his ass nowadays.
All of Dewey’s friends will tell you...he’s a real freak. He’s a walking cliche.
Similes always make me smile.
ReplyDeleteNicely done, Nathan!
It's a swell piece. Comment more, Nate!
DeleteSay when.
DeleteBut, did he believe in religion?
ReplyDeleteOnce he lost his gig at the Carnival, the squares had him cornered, so he lost his relgion.
Deletesp: religion
DeleteThis is very interesting.
ReplyDeleteCould you introduce me to the Carnies, do you think, or perhaps you how one would reach them?
I just have one question, to add to Kwai's.
Who put whose foot in whose mouth?
...perhaps you KNOW... Damn computer!
DeleteNathan is one of the closest friends I've never met. He might have been too modest to mention that he has a swell music blog of his own. Our online acquaintance began there over a fuggin' Fugs album.
ReplyDeleteWhen Farq posted the NY Rock Ensemble t'other day, it reminded me of Nathan's tale of misspent youth, with this arresting introduction: "I got paroled out early on the mescaline rap." The album Roll Over is part of the tale:
https://nathannothinsez.blogspot.com/2019/02/cant-kill-man-for-trying.html
That is a great blog. Thank you for the link.
DeleteNathan added to roster of Swell Guys in the sidebar. That should make his page visits plummet.
DeleteInka dinka doo, I gots a blog too!
DeleteBut like my old flame, I can't even think of her name.
Underdog... wonderblog... jonderblog... something like that.
LOST BLOG
Reward if found:
one FoamPoint.
He put his foot in his own mouth. It would be rude to put yer foot in your brother's mouth & just damn disgusting to put yer brother's foot in yer mouth. As for the Carnies, as Mr. Natural sez, "If you don't know by now, don't mess with it."
ReplyDeleteThat was for extramtraveller, sorry Jonder.
Delete