Firesign Double Album TwinPack Twofers™! Dept.

 

Available scans of this awesome cover are universally shit. I blame the internet.

 

You have nothing better to do with your ears right now than squirt new, liquid Firesign Ear Canal Cleanser™ into them! And what swifter, cleaner way of delivery than clicking the cunningly hidden StealthLink© embedded in this post!

 

Terrible, horrible cover by Phil Yamamoto and his girlfriend. It was Phil's only design commission, and I wonder why.

 

These swell dual discs, the Firesign's only original twin vinyls, offer:

🖕MicroHybrid© cleansing technology!

🖕Refreshful MintyMenthol™ aftertaste!

🖕Sparkling RIAA Redline® performance!

 

You'll treasure these legacy recordings just like all the other shit you download but never get around to playing!

The Olds Are The News Dept.

 

This [above - Ed.] is the one I'll be using. Ideally, the apes would be recognisable caricatures of Mick, Keef, n' Ronaldo, but still in the Bored Ape NFT style. That whole non-fungible nonsense seems to fit somehow. And this is immediately a Stones album!

Ideas: super-celebs, NFT bored monkey, Banksy. Image search about five minutes, fooling around with filters, fonts - maybe fifteen, tops. Not over-thinking is a key Stones attribute. These wouldn't have flown as real designs, due to copyright/legal problems I'm not bothered by. The Stones have form in eye-wincing "bad taste" - Get Your Ya-Yas Out? Some Girls? Voodoo Lounge? Hackney Diamonds? Yikes and thrice yikes!

THIS JUST IN!

Famed Dutch fine artiste Koen got his crayons out, too!

And here's a design solution that riffs on the "foreign tongues" as transmissions from space, with a cute nod to "it's in the stars". Cool concept, elegant design ... but is it a Stones cover? Nope, nope, and thrice nope: 

Richard Simmons Launches "Fitness For The Homeless" Program!

Longtime homeless bum-ette "Babs" (center) sets hat on fire to keep warm!

You'll know TV's Richard Simmons from popular TV show Hey! Fatso!, but did you know he's also Ambassador for NYC's Fitness For The Homeless™ Program? Richard stopped by th' IoF© yestiddy to tell us about exciting fitness initiative! We chatted poolside whilst [grammar - Ed.] Kreemé [eighteen my ass - Ed.] served signature clam juice and binwater smoothies!

FT3 Heyyyy! Richard my man! Th' Simster! Still can't afford a pair of pants, huh?

RS My Richard Simmons® ScantiShorts© offer silky freedom of movement with the added support of Neoprene™ gusset technology!

FT3 Enough product placement already! This homeless deal - give us the skinny!

RS Why, everyone can get a lean, buff body like mine with just a few minutes workout - even homeless bums! Let's face it, it's not like they got jobs to go to! (laughs) Anyways, I have to dash, I have an invite to a Soup Kitchen tonite!

FT3 Er ... you may want to watch The Other Guys movie before you commit to this engagement.

RS (winks) Why do you think I'm going?

Uh-oh! Someone threw a swell album in the trash! Can you descry it in above Foam-O-Graph©, readers? Grand deliverable for lucky winner of today's competition!

Criminally Underrated Bands Dept. - Wings!

 

Wings made a very fine album indeed, back in '68. Oz Bach, from FoamFavorites™ Spanky And Our Gang, played bass and wrote. MOR songthrush Pam Robins lent her tonsils and co-wrote. Also features Jerry Poloquin (the Airplane's first drummer) and production/arrangement from Steve Barri and Jimmy Haskell. Typically first-tier folk rock from Dunhill.

This post brought to fruition thru organic nurturing and peaceful vibes

Sat'dy Morning TV Dept. - Soap

Before you rush to your keyboard to point out that Soap was never on Saturday morning TV, let me patronisingly explain that it's Saturday morning here on th' IoF©, and this here first episode of a show that's never been equalled for razor-sharp outrageousness is what's on FoamTV® (logo - static blur). Enjoy!

wiki: "series featured melodramatic plotlines including alien abduction, demonic possession, extramarital affairs, murder, kidnapping, unknown diseases, amnesia, cults, organized crime, a communist revolution, and teacher-student relationships."