Thursday, August 13, 2026

Au Reservoir!



IOFAI006 Can you spot the differences, boys and girls? There's a jolly prize for the first postcard with the right answer!

I've given this a good kicking, because it wasn't quite what I wanted it to be, and after a couple of days work it now is. Huzzay! It's unlike the two previous "immersive" AIs [AI = Audio Initiative™ - Ed.] in that it's not designed to be calming and relaxing. The first half does that job nicely enough, with lashings of pastoral bliss and working class jollity, then the war clouds loom and we veer off into wiccan/Green Man mythos, ending in a melancholy, even sombre way, coming home to a country we no longer recognise (and realising the significance of our journey). It's unlikely to be a recording you whistle along to while you fold the laundry, but it is "uniquely brilliant and powerful", as one listener*was kind enough to observe.

If you already downloaded the original, replace with this reworked version, which you can tell by the subtly altered cover art.


*Me


IOFAI005

To Slumberland used the same techniques as Blue Horizon to create a sleepy dreamscape. Some beautiful synchronicity with Clarence Clemons' sax (from his criminally little-known solo album Peacemaker) fitting perfectly in key, timing, and mood with Paul Horn's flute in the Great Pyramid; a meeting of the spirits, continents and decades apart. They couldn't have played better together if they'd played together. Key discoveries: Rodrigo Amarante, Milla Jovovich, and the Clemons album [use search button - Ed.]. And note how HAL's heartbreaking Daisy (reverting to infancy as he's put to sleep, just as Bowman reverted to the womb to be reborn) segues into the next piece of music ... nothing lasts, but nothing is lost ...



IOFAI004

The first three AIs (a trilogy of Barbarella/Alice/Acid adventures) were simple compared to the second three, which used many more and much shorter samples, over and underdubbed, backwards and forwards melting, from a far wider selection of sources, both musical and purely sonic. I couldn't now tell you where much of it comes from, although the edits of songs are familiar enough. Accidental glitches, where scraps became repeating patterns. Editing on a fractal scale in Audacity, sometimes juggling sounds less than a second long. Hundreds of cogs in this machine. Beyond The Blue Horizon's theme is obvious enough - the search for heaven on earth. Can the exotic exist in a world flattened and coarsened by the internet? A cinematic immersion in the exotic, in beauty and hope. There are worse ways to put half an hour behind you. Headphones preferably, solitude, and passive attention.

IOFAI003

IOFAI003 Thirty Minutes Down The Rabbit Hole

For those of th' Four Or Five Guys© what downloaded the previous two curations in the series, this is exactly like more of the same only different. The same state-of-the-industry standards and best global practices alchemically combine to deliver excellence in deliverables  - the very best in our style of audial entertainment! You'll enjoy spotting familiar landmarks on this journey into the id, and yet there'll be surprises aplenty for the most experienced psychonaut!

As before, we strongly recommend ingesting catering-quantity hallucinogens - then you can wander off down the rabbit hole and not bother with listening to this. But should you get it together, headphones, eyes closed, and an undisturbed half hour to your bad self will be thirty minutes well spent!

IOFAI002


IOFAI002 Thirty Minutes Through The Looking Glass

Here ya go, pals! When your grandchildren cluster at your slippered feet, gazing up with eyes undimmed by life's bitter travail, and ask "gee Gwampy, what was fychodoolia?" You can play the li'l tykes this, because this is what was.

You will need headphones. You will need a half hour to yourself. While you immerse yourself in the fractal fringe of the fun zone, try to discern the Cheshire Cat on the album cover! And th' Eye of Agamotto! Hoo boy! Some fun, huh, gang?


IOFAI001

IOFAI001 Thirty Minutes Over Wonderland

Like everything else in life, this didn't turn out how I expected. It's not the abstract ambient psych psuite I originally intended, nor is it the simple comp of unaltered tracks that took its place when the whole thing got All Too Much. It's something in-between, tracks edited and merged into a pseamless psych flight. There's nothing throat-slashingly obscure here - how many do you recognise?

The whole thing floats by in an iridescent bubble you can climb into for a while. Keeping it to thirty minutes (I have so many massive comps I never listen to) meant leaving out [YOUR FAVORITES]. And a couple of mine. There's nothing remotely heavy, no surprise mood breakers, but enough variety to keep you from nodding out (unless that's what you want to do). Nothing camp or ironic or exploito-fake, no "referencing" or "chanelling", and nothing recorded since way back then. The super-saturated color, the patchouli shimmer, the dumb beautiful optimism, these are authentic manifestations of the times. As live as you want them to be.

If you've forgotten the sun, don't worry, the sun remembers you ...




Jenny Dhalia [left - Ed.] of Mons Veneris, CT. sez: 
"Why, these Isle O' Foam© Audio Initiatives™ offer my husband and I the tops in quality entertainment!"








Rollo Rumpy-Pumpy [left - Ed.] of Knuckbuster, AK, sez: "As mother of five rambunctious li'l rugrats, I find the soothing qualities of these recordings a blessed relief!"









Verruka Kowznofski [left - Ed.] of Semensville, OH, sez: "Psychedelia made me question everything I was brought up to believe. Like, pool noodles? What the fuck, man?"

 

 




 

 A note on the covers: they're created in exactly the same way as the music. Shattered fragments brought together by a concept. Discovered in memory, by memory. The last post for a while.

Saturday, August 1, 2026

TL-DR Dept. - History Is Collapsing



Remember the "No Kings" marches? Seems like a lifetime ago. Those were the days, right? A wool hat, a thermos, a hand-painted sign. Remember how releasing the Epstein Files was going to bring the whole power structure down? The Epstein Files?

The Epstein business has effectively disappeared into the black hole of history, along with the Panama Papers, the Kennedy assassination, and all the other events for which we were not in the need-to-know category. Trump was right when he reacted with "are we still talking about Epstein?" Right in the sense that for most people, it's no longer of any interest. It's in the past, what's done is done. The chances that any of Epstein's friends - and we know who they are - will ever have to answer for anything at all is not even remote. Maxwell is in a government-funded Extended Vacation Facility, and that's good enough. Justice has been done. End of.

Ice squads patrolling the streets, abducting citizens, throwing little kids into cages. Shooting anybody they feel like. Yeah, well, these things happen. Whatcha gonna do? There's always the mid-terms.

Everything is a distraction. Not just Trump's Vanity War. History is collapsing around us as the world burns. We have other things to think about.

Whatcha gonna do?



Thursday, July 30, 2026

TV's Reg Varney Reviews Latest Jazz-Rock LP! Dept.

Foam-O-Graph© - "Making Your World - Make Sense!"

 

You'll know cheeky diminutive funnyman Reg Varney [above - Ed.] from TV's long-running series Blimey! You Can See Her Knickers! but did you know he's something of a jazzrock authority? [I'm guessing not Ed.] That's right, music enthusiasts! Reg kept the great cow-faced British public happy thru the war years [up to '69, then - Ed.] with his cheery chuckle and lecherous eye for the ladies, so he seemed the obvious choice to review Mrs. Santana's new jazzrock waxing! Take it away, Reginald!

And a big hi-de-hi-de-ho to all you jazzrock fans out there! Ding ding! Room for more inside! Farq lent me this new LP by Cindy Blackman Santana to review. Apparently hubby Carlos gave her permission to make her own record, and I'm all for the little ladies being allowed their time outdoors. It's the times, innit? The more bras burned the better, say I! Phwoar! But on a serious note, Mrs. Santana plays the drums, and I'm sure even the most feminine feminists would agree with me that this is a man's job! We men are built stronger in the muscles and frankly have you ever known a dolly bird be on time? (laughs) So all credit to her for trying, say I, but don't forget hubby's dinner needs to be on the table!

What's the record like, then? Well, in all honesty like, I ain't played it. I'm a bit put off by the Blackman thing to be honest - what's that about? And like I say, a girlie playin' the drums goes against common sense! Do me a favour! They'll be drivin' the buses next! Ding ding! Fares please! (cackles)

Thank you, Reginald! Th' Four Or Five Guys© may have noticed [again, my guess is not - Ed.] I have substituted my own cover design for the original, which made my brain hurt. Here it is:

 

This looks like ... nope, I give up. It defies coherent thought and rational analysis. It makes the cover for Foreign Tongues look strangely beautiful. What has she got on her feet? Elf sneakers? What are her legs doing and where are they going? It looks like her image has been cut out with safety scissors in a school project for blind children. The phrase what the actual freaking fuck seems applicable. Here's my replacement, suitable for framing:

 

 

Anyway, as on previous Mrs. Santana albums, hubby Carlos and barbecue buddy John McLaughlin contribute fretwork, and they're the least interesting tracks on the album. Only occasionally during the over-long running time do I yell stop playing the goddamn drums already! and it's a very creditable outing in The Genre That Refuses To Die. Download in the comfort of your own home as the world burns.

 

This post inspired by a thwarted desire to charitably reassess Mr. Varney's elusive genius. I was right first time. 

Monday, July 27, 2026

TL-DR Dept. - Jim Morrison

Unusually Sensitive and Artistic editorial illustration from Foam-O-Graph©

Yes probably, Morrison was the insufferable, sulky, belligerent drunk he's written off as. So what? It's not like he's going to come by your house and piss on your couch while slurring half-remembered lines from Baudelaire. You don't have to put up with his inconsiderate egocentricity, so what's your problem?

A mediocre poet, you say airily. Well, being a mediocre poet is more than not being a poet at all, which is what you are, you bum. And he was a better poet than many poets who didn't look so good in leather pants.

When the still sea сonspires an armor
And her sullen and aborted currents
Breed tiny monsters
True sailing is dead


Yebbut, he was so-oo pretentious! As I never get tired of hearing myself type: pretension is the mother of art. Without that vaulting ambition, nothing is achieved.

He couldn't actually, you know, sing? Here's John Mayer, who understands the technical aspects of singing better than I do:

He’s most commonly described as a baritone because his voice sits comfortably in a lower tessitura, with a dark tone and chest-dominant production. His range wasn’t about flashy high notes—it was about power, color, and attitude.
  • Comfortable power in the low-mid range
  • A naturally darker, thick tone
  • Strong speaking-to-singing connection
  • Less emphasis on bright, ringing top notes
  • Slow, confident timing
  • Controlled roughness
  • Minimal vibrato (often more straight tone)
Morrison didn’t build his identity around vocal acrobatics. He built it around commandHere’s the big mistake: people think Morrison equals “sing low.” What he actually did was sing heavy.

This is good stuff, right? Read the whole piece here. So yes, he could sing. Like a motherfucker. And he had one of the most immediately recognisable voices in rock (or anywhere).

Morrison was one of the great frontmen. Yes, I know about frontwomen, we had Gracie here a few days back. There are no frontmen no more, no larger-than-life figureheads, not nohow. None. Guys who can command the attention of an audience through sheer intensity of performance, through their wild, burning presence. Elvis, James Brown, Iggy Pop. And Freddie Mercury, perhaps the last of the breed, not that I give a toss for his Saturday morning car wash music.

What we have today in the place of this magnetic electric planetary pull is niceness. Paradigm: Chris Somebody, the singer with Coldplay (is that a group?). Performers today are respected for niceness. All that testosterone strutting is a bit cringe, right? Mr Somebody is doubtless a nice guy. So, I'm sure, are Tedeschi and Trucks. None of them is likely to get his [or her - Ed.] tackle out on stage. I doubt there's a line of groupies at the stage door eager to suck them off or blow coke up their ass through a bendy straw. A shoulder pat, perhaps! A shared shy grin? ROCK AND FUCKING ROLL! Being in a Coldplay audience must be like wallowing through a sloppy sludgy soup of niceness and affection. I'm like, literally crying with niceness here! Which may be preferable to a mosh pit hammer party, but I'm not sure.

Morrison was our last bastard Dionysian, howling down the ancient days; stoned, immaculate, and absolutely live.


"It's the pictures that got small."

 

 


Saturday, July 25, 2026

Perfect Tens Dept. - Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass!

Herb's "Going Places" in style! Gaston! Dos cervecas!!

 

It's a fair criticism that th' IoF© doesn't feature a whole lot of ethnic musics from the more diverse parts of the world. The Young People Of Today are properly respectful of Mongolian Nose Flute albums and Funeral Disco Chants From Tanzania, mainly because their own music is so shit they're prepared to give anything a try.

pmac in Seville, yesterday!

 

So it's in this spirit of benign cultural appropriation that the latest Perfect Ten features in our coveted Perfect Ten feature. Those of you alert enough to have read the title of this piece (and I'm taking nothing for granted these days) will already know who I'm talking about - go back and read it now if you're still in the dark. As an extra clue, I've used AI technologies to produce a pixel-perfect blurry reproduction of the original album sleeve [above - Ed.].

For why does this album garner musicdom's most coveted award? On account which there's nothing wrong with it, ya doofus. And boy, do those Spanish-type bossa rhythms ever cheer a guy up!

Herb n' Lani, 2021. Does you good to look on such a blessed state. Human beings can be great.

 

 

This post prompted by a laudable desire for inclusivity.