Richard Simmons Launches "Fitness For The Homeless" Program!

Longtime homeless bum-ette "Babs" (center) sets hat on fire to keep warm!

You'll know TV's Richard Simmons from popular TV show Hey! Fatso!, but did you know he's also Ambassador for NYC's Fitness For The Homeless™ Program? Richard stopped by th' IoF© yestiddy to tell us about exciting fitness initiative! We chatted poolside whilst [grammar - Ed.] Kreemé [eighteen my ass - Ed.] served signature clam juice and binwater smoothies!

FT3 Heyyyy! Richard my man! Th' Simster! Still can't afford a pair of pants, huh?

RS My Richard Simmons® ScantiShorts© offer silky freedom of movement with the added support of Neoprene™ gusset technology!

FT3 Enough product placement already! This homeless deal - give us the skinny!

RS Why, everyone can get a lean, buff body like mine with just a few minutes workout - even homeless bums! Let's face it, it's not like they got jobs to go to! (laughs) Anyways, I have to dash, I have an invite to a Soup Kitchen tonite!

FT3 Er ... you may want to watch The Other Guys movie before you commit to this engagement.

RS (winks) Why do you think I'm going?

Uh-oh! Someone threw a swell album in the trash! Can you descry it in above Foam-O-Graph©, readers? Grand deliverable for lucky winner of today's competition!

The Olds Are The News Dept.

Criminally Underrated Bands Dept. - Wings!

 

Wings made a very fine album indeed, back in '68. Oz Bach, from FoamFavorites™ Spanky And Our Gang, played bass and wrote. MOR songthrush Pam Robins lent her tonsils and co-wrote. Also features Jerry Poloquin (the Airplane's first drummer) and production/arrangement from Steve Barri and Jimmy Haskell. Typically first-tier folk rock from Dunhill.

This post brought to fruition thru organic nurturing and peaceful vibes

Sat'dy Morning TV Dept. - Soap

Before you rush to your keyboard to point out that Soap was never on Saturday morning TV, let me patronisingly explain that it's Saturday morning here on th' IoF©, and this here first episode of a show that's never been equalled for razor-sharp outrageousness is what's on FoamTV® (logo - static blur). Enjoy!

wiki: "series featured melodramatic plotlines including alien abduction, demonic possession, extramarital affairs, murder, kidnapping, unknown diseases, amnesia, cults, organized crime, a communist revolution, and teacher-student relationships."

Perfect Tens Dept. - Pink Floyd

Outstanding in her field ...

Charter Four Or Five Guy© Sitarswami, a legend on th' IoF for his unique contributions, sent me a link to this frankly awesome remix of Atom Heart Mother. It's by a collective calling themselves MQR, and their website trumpets a metric shitload of remixes made without profit in mind, to be given away freely to fans because, hey man, the Man can't take our music, right? Except that there are - perhaps predictably - no links to download them. Gee whiz and uh-freakin'-huh, right?

Mr. Swami managed to source a handful, and among them is this stunning remix of one of my favourite albums, Atom Heart Mother, now given away freely to you, th' 4/5g©. It's that rare thing, a remix that improves on the original in every way, thus earning the prestigious IoF© Perfect Ten Award, the first for a remix. They got the cover right, too. THRILL to previously buried detail! WANDER thru widescreen stereo soundstage! SWOON to a transformed Summer Of '68! It's become my "go-to iteration", and it likely will be yours, too!

I've a feeling there'll be additions to this post, so check back every few seconds or so. It's not like you have anything better to do.

This post made inevitable thru th' astral chakra homologation of sitarswami™