Shirley & Dolly Collins Dept. - Rasta Sistas!

Cover art by Family Man Dave© at Kingstown Kinko

Soon after their ahead-of-its-time Gangsta Sistahs album got canned by the neckbeards at Topic, Shirley & Dolly Collins took a much-needed vacation in sunny Jamaica! Let's let the sisters take up the story:

Shirl: The first thing we noticed was how attentive the dark-skinned native gentlemen were!

Doll: Courteous to a fault! They never really left our side. Found us free accommodation!

Shirl:  Charming little beach hut miles from anywhere! Irie!

Doll: And they introduced us to their fascinating religious ceremonies.

Shirl: A lot of herbal remedies, an' t'ing! My goodness!

Doll: We reveled in or new-found freedom!

Shirl: (laughs) Not too many clothes required, as I remember!

Doll: It was too hot! Anyway, we couldn't find them.

Shirl: Musically, it was a life-changing experience. We soon adopted their riddims, and recorded some dub-wise plates in honour of Hailie Selassie's return.

Doll: Irie!

Shirl: Chris Blackwell found us and called the police, the big spoilsport. And no, he didn't even release the album.

(The sisters gather at the harmonium)

 

O as I was going to Kingston Town 

Irie-down, natty-down, pass the dutchie to the left hand side

'Twas heavy manners going down

Irie-down, natty-down, pass the dutchie to the left hand side

My love he was the fairest of the fair

Irie-down, dilly-down, pass the dutchie to the left hand side

With his ebony skin and dreadlock hair

Irie-down, natty-down, pass the dutchie to the left hand side

He promised I would be his bride

Irie-down, natty-down, pass the dutchie to the left hand side

On the Black Star Liner we would ride

Irie-down, natty-down, pass the dutchie to the left hand side

But the ticket came at such a cost

Irie-down, natty-down, pass the dutchie to the left hand side

My maidenhood I willingly lost 

Irie-down, natty-down, pass the dutchie to the left hand side

This post funded by Black Star Eyeliner™ from Maybelline®

 

Core Four Dept. - Th' Doobies

One a year, 72-75. Business as usual back then, unbelievable now.

 

The Warner Bros. label back then was a guarantee of swell entertainment, recording-wise. Quality all down the line - sharp A&R men picking up exciting talent, great bands making great records in beautiful sleeves. I mean, gee whiz! The Doobies were rightly seen as essential investments, albums you'd spend a lot of time with, get a lot out of. I still do, over fifty freaking years later. Although they did some other good stuff, these four are the core. The band was always more concerned with making you feel as good as they did, rather than being cool. They were right. 

 

 

(I just wanted to see something great at the top of the blog, as I'll be stepping back a little, again, again!)

Albums What Never Was But Should Of Dept. - Shirley And Dolly Collins

Sleeve reconstruction incorporates RI Technology (Real Ignorance™)

Back in 1979, the Collins Sisters career was at a crossroads. Their first two albums on Harvest garnered mildly enthusiastic reviews, but sales were disappointing. Sales figures went into the red after thousands of disappointed prog fans returned their copies. Their third album on the trend-setting Topic label suffered from poor promotion (a postcard in the window of their local Post Office) and led to a long hiatus.

SC Dolly had substance issues, basically.

DC (laughs) Substance issues! My goodness!

SC And we got a "bad rep" for leaving hotel rooms a little untidy.

DC Shirl threw her zither into the pool! (does rock and roll "horns" gesture)

SC Happy days! 

FT3 So you decided to up your game?

SC We heard Grandmaster Flash and his Wheels Of Steel on the wireless, and it was like a revelation!

DC It was the new folk music! Music of the common man!

SC We decided there and then to record our own "rap gangster" long-player!

FT3 Apparently it was a step in the wrong direction for the neckbeards at Topic?

DC They refused to release it. It was a bitter disappointment.

FT3 Could you still perform the material today?

(The ladies gather around the harmonium)

It was on September morning my love he did make bold

Arrayed in costly pantaloons and rings of solid gold

He gaily threw me in the boot of his German limousine

O shut the fuck up bitch you my ho now I gonna treat you mean

With a hey nonny nonny ho and a rilly down dilly-o

Shoot this shit and swallow this pilly-o

Smack up my bitch-o gonna get rich-o

With a rilly-dilly-dillyo I'm yo ho

This post blessed by the pontifical intercession of Pope Prius IX

 

Perfect Tens Dept. - Headhunters

So now we know!

"The image on Herbie Hancock’s 1973 Head Hunters album cover is based on an African mask associated with the Baoulé tribe from the Ivory Coast, used in times of danger, during epidemics or at funeral ceremonies. The image also resembles the tape head demagnetizer used on reel-to-reel audio tape recorders."

Designer Victor Moscoso brilliantly destroyed the cultural gap between indigenous tribal rhythms and electro-funk by creating this unforgettable image.

 

 

 

The sonic and optic impact this album had back in '73 is impossible to appreciate in this diminished age. It leaped from the racks and slapped you upside yo hade in a post-psychedelic day-glo dazzle. I was, like, literally, what the actual fuck? I literally was! Like! For once, the music was as shockingly new as the cover, and as effortlessly creative and ground-breakingly commercial. Look, let's face it, jazz is mostly boring as shit. And Herbie Hancock playing the fucking piano is as boring as shit gets. But when he followed Miles' [Davis - trumpet player - Ed.] advice and sat on his left hand he became the dancin' shaman o' funk. The album isn't really a Herbie album - he's integral to the Headhunters, one of the greatest bands of all time. This is timeless, beautiful, joyous and funky music for whatever godforsaken age you're living in. For those with any stuff left at all, now is the time to strut it.

 

This post funded in part by Solly And Sarah Sebag's Sebum City©, Carbapenem, CA

Re-Up Request Dept. - Viva Saturn

Sleeve exhumation and reconstruction by FMF© Department of Art Department

Géraldine asks nicely for a re-up of a genuine FoamExclusive©, which I'm happy to fulfil. The original post is here, and well worth a read, but let's talk about Géraldine, who is possibly unique. On account which what? Here's her Blogger profile (I always look, because that's why they're there - it's not snooping!):

Géraldine has been on Blogger for eleven (count 'em!) years, and in all that time has had only two profile views. Which are both mine. The second because I couldn't believe the first. And now I can't believe the second (you can see where this is going).

So what I'm suggesting is that you, th' Four Or Five Guy©, click on her name in the comments (you'll have to go to the original post to do that, which may be beyond your pay grade and/or attention span, you simpering pantaloon) and give her page views a burst of popularity. (Don't get your hopes up, Géraldine, th' 4/5g© are an indigent bunch of lazy-ass merry-andrews.)

 

THIS JUST IN:

 

 

Link in comments.