Thursday, July 16, 2026

Perfect Tens Dept. - Jefferson And His Aeroplanes!

This is what it might have looked like if Balin's original idea was used. Pink works better, and he thought so too.

 

They don't get enough love, is what I'm saying. For why? Perhaps it was their shift into hectoring agit-prop, confused science fiction, and a string of ragged albums. And then the Starship, which has dated as well as toweling headbands and legwarmers. I reckon it was the drugs becoming more important than the tunes, but what do I know? Their first three albums remain paradigms [oh, fuck off - Ed.] of 'sixties culture, focused like a crystal lens onto the times they were made, clear and color-saturated.


Takes Off
is the modern sound of folk-rock, from Marty Balin's band. What set it apart from the hootenanny hayriders was a for-the-times lyrical edginess, pencil-fucked by the prudes at RCA, some neat acid-etched guitar and Jack Casady's frankly mindblowing bass, recorded unusually close. Signe Toly Anderson and Skip Spence left before the second album, replaced by high society sex tornado Grace Slick and jazzbo sticksman Spencer Dryden.
8/10


Balin took a slight but significant step back for Surrealistic Pillow, the band creating as a whole, and the sound expanded into something immediately new - by turns battering and sharp or shimmering gentle. Slick brought two songs from the underachieving Great Society, the hit Somebody To Love and the psycho bolero White Rabbit, which sounded like nothing else more than anything else, and still does, only more so. Here's the sound of the summer of love happening, breaking through the concrete and diffusing rainbows into the air. Only Electric Music For The Mind And Body caught the mood as perfectly.
10/10


After Bathing At Baxters
shows the perils of freedom, of over-indulgence. Arriving in late '67, it prefigured the end of the decade and the sun setting on the Age of Aquarius after barely nudging over the horizon. Balin was sidelined to one song and experimentation was valued for its own sake. Again, it's a perfect encapsulation of the times, but the times were already troubled, and the lack of focus, of a cohesive identity, that was to plague the band's later releases was apparent in the wider context of a counterculture uncertain how to replace mindless hedonism with something lasting. Yes, it's a nearly great album, but that nearly is crippling. In spite of some rave reviews, Baxter's fell short of its lofty aim. Grace Slick:
"We figured we were going to produce the most brilliant album released in rock ... we had no idea what we were doing." I blame the drugs. 9/10

 

This post approved safe for human consumption by the FDAMDA (Food Drugs And More Drugs Administration)

Tuesday, July 14, 2026

Firesign Double Disc TwinPack Twofers™! Dept.

 

Available scans of this awesome cover are universally shit. I blame the internet.

 

You have nothing better to do with your ears right now than squirt new, liquid Firesign Ear Canal Cleanser™ into them! And what swifter, cleaner way of delivery than clicking the cunningly hidden StealthLink© embedded in this post!

 

Terrible, horrible cover by Phil Yamamoto and his girlfriend. It was Phil's only design commission, and I wonder why.

 

These swell dual discs, the Firesign's only original twin vinyls, offer:

🖕MicroHybrid© cleansing technology!

🖕Refreshful MintyMenthol™ aftertaste!

🖕Sparkling RIAA Redline® performance!

 

Add to the fun!

Is that even possible, you ask, your voice choking with emotion, that we could have even more Firesign fun? These two swell extry deliverables, StealthLinked© together somewhere in this paragraph (I forget, so don't ask), answer your question with a resounding YES!

De-tuned as in the crappy songs have been deleted. You won't notice.


 

Phil "Rock God" Austin's feeble, boring, and irrelevant musical interludes SAVAGELY edited out, resulting in a smooth, Liqui-Glyde™ listening experience. You should thank me. Also for the new cover, which spares us Austin's nipple.


... and here's Snorky's faahhhbulous cover for four hours of live radio (see comments):

 

Bravo, Snorkers! Graphic perfection!

You'll treasure these legacy recordings just like all the other shit you download but never get around to playing!

Monday, July 13, 2026

The Olds Are The News Dept.


 

This [above - Ed.] is the one I'll be using. Ideally, the apes would be recognisable caricatures of Mick, Keef, n' Ronaldo, but still in the Bored Ape NFT style. That whole non-fungible nonsense seems to fit somehow. And this is immediately a Stones album!







Ideas: super-celebs, NFT bored monkey, Banksy. Image search about five minutes, fooling around with filters, fonts - maybe fifteen, tops. Not over-thinking is a key Stones attribute. These wouldn't have flown as real designs, due to copyright/legal problems I'm not bothered by. The Stones have form in eye-wincing "bad taste" - Get Your Ya-Yas Out? Some Girls? Voodoo Lounge? Hackney Diamonds? Yikes and thrice yikes!

THIS JUST IN!

Famed Dutch fine artiste Koen got his crayons out, too!


And here's a design solution that riffs on the "foreign tongues" as transmissions from space, with a cute nod to "it's in the stars". Cool concept, elegant design ... but is it a Stones cover? Nope, nope, and thrice nope: 


Original "Mr. Ugly" artwork. I like it.




Saturday, July 11, 2026

Richard Simmons Launches "Fitness For The Homeless" Program!

Longtime homeless bum-ette "Babs" (center) sets hat on fire to keep warm!

You'll know
TV's Richard Simmons from popular TV show Hey! Fatso!, but did you know he's also Ambassador for NYC's Fitness For The Homeless™ Program? Richard stopped by th' IoF© yestiddy to tell us about exciting fitness initiative! We chatted poolside whilst [grammar - Ed.] Kreemé [eighteen my ass - Ed.] served signature clam juice and binwater smoothies!

FT3 Heyyyy! Richard my man! Th' Simster! Still can't afford a pair of pants, huh?

RS My Richard Simmons® ScantiShorts© offer silky freedom of movement with the added support of Neoprene™ gusset technology!

FT3 Enough product placement already! This homeless deal - give us the skinny!

RS Why, everyone can get a lean, buff body like mine with just a few minutes workout - even homeless bums! Let's face it, it's not like they got jobs to go to! (laughs) Anyways, I have to dash, I have an invite to a Soup Kitchen tonite!

FT3 Er ... you may want to watch The Other Guys movie before you commit to this engagement.

RS (winks) Why do you think I'm going?



Uh-oh! Someone threw a swell album in the trash! Can you descry it in above Foam-O-Graph©, readers? Grand deliverable for lucky winner of today's competition!




Tuesday, July 7, 2026

Criminally Underrated Bands Dept. - Wings!

 




Wings made a very fine album indeed, back in '68. Oz Bach, from FoamFavorites Spanky And Our Gang, played bass and wrote. MOR songthrush Pam Robins lent her tonsils and co-wrote. Also features Jerry Poloquin (the Airplane's first drummer) and production/arrangement from Steve Barri and Jimmy Haskell. Typically first-tier folk rock from Dunhill.


This post brought to fruition thru organic nurturing and peaceful vibes