Jimmy Durante - Godfather Of Surf! Dept.

Cover laboriously restored to original glory - the best you'll see on an internet!

You'll know veteran comedian Jimmy Durante from previous visits to th' IoF© [here and here - Ed.], but did you know he has an important role in the development of surf music? As unlikely as this sounds, it's more unlikely that you did, given your lamentable education and lack of interest in the really important stuff, so I'll tells ya! Those of you with short-term memory skills undimmed by the passing of the years may remember the last piece to appear here a couple of days back, featuring Michael Lloyd's tragic descent into music biz success [Here's a link so you don't have to scroll and make your eyes go funny - Ed.]. During the course of my research I learned that Lloyd's Godfather was none other than Th' Shnozzola hisself, James Q. Durante! But wait! There's more! But first, take a hinge at this ultra-rare piece of movie memorabilia from the collection of the late Gene Siskel:

Only evidence that movie ever existed!

 

That was fun, wasn't it? Probably the most fun you're going to have all day, which is simultaneantly heartwarming and throat-slashingly pathetic. But back to 1963 or whenever it was. Lloyd was in the successful surfbeat combo The New Dimensions, what you ain't heared of because frankly you don't care that much about anything since your ex torched your trailer home with your Pokemon© collection still in it. But this band could actually play, looked spiffy, and got to support some major major acts, such as like f'rinstance the Beach Boys. Wow! Great Concert! And it was th' Shnozz what gifted the young Michael Lloyd with an actual Fender guitar, which was like giving him a Cadillac. Anyway, they wus dumb kids and signed a contract with a couple of feckless rubes just off the Azusa bus, ensuring no income from their three record albums, the first of which is today's FoamFeature™ Deliverable, and as far as I'm aware the only place you'll find it in this condition on the internet. It may be on SoulSuck, but so what. Who cares. Fuck those weirdos.

It's surprisingly fantastic. There's some real production imagination added to musical skill making it a cut above most surfbeat albums. As it's on the dump-bin Sutton label, there are no credits (so musicians and composers lose their royalties) and the producer's name - which really interests me - is illegibly small, bottom left front cover. William J. Something? It's in true stereo, and there's always something clever and unexpected happening, mix-wise. And it's twenty - count 'em! - fun-packed minutes long! Hoo boy!

After cutting a couple more albums, with an ill-advised Hail Mary pass at soul, the band [left - Ed.] morphed into ... ta daa! ... dese guys:

... and let me tell you, it's a crushing disappointmink. They're basically an egg n' beans blues band. Yes, they played on the Strip and were probably great fun to watch at Pandora's Box, and yes, they had top-line talent supporting them on the album - Bones Howe, Larry Knechtel, Hal Blaine, Mike Deasy, and ... Warren Zevon. And they were pretty good players and singers themselves (although Lloyd had moved on). But it's boring as waiting for a dial-up connection in Uzbekhistan. I'm not uploading it, as a pubic cervix. The New Dimensions album is better in every way, except the cover. I should mention Art Guy, who was not the graphic designer but the drummer. The graphic designer was probably Drum Guy.

This post made possible by a heatwave that's keeping me indoors, chugging ice-cold water in front of a fan (one of my many lol haha).

Michael Lloyd's Descent Into Easy Listening Hell Dept.

Michael Lloyd and Kim Fowley were not a likely partnership. Fowley wasn't looking for partners, only victims. There were plenty back on Sunset Strip in the 'sixties, where he was a towering, Svengali-like egomaniac with a talent for self-promotion and an insatiable appetite for the young girls who drifted onto the Strip with confused dreams of stardom or freedom or whatever.

“Look at who I am," he said, as if self-awareness was enough in itself, and somehow admirable, "I’m an uneducated, untalented, bad social skills, horrible intimacy skills, unattractive, horrifying, dark, cadaverous, too-tall presence.” Groovy. "Because I’m basically an asshole, a piece of shit, no one’s interested in going any further to see if there’s any depth of talent, character or intellect.” There wasn't - what you saw was what you got, a hippie Trump whose sucking tentacles of ambition never reached beyond LA, where his name appears like a sexually-transmitted rash across the music industry.

The classically-trained Michael Lloyd had his own band at Beverley Hills High School, and recorded some early surf singles with Mike Curb. He also had the talent, good looks, and charm denied to Fowley, who signed him to a publishing deal, finagled him into recording his desperate Love Is Alive And Well album and introduced him to rich-kid wannabe rock star and tambourine slapper Bob Markley, another Sunset Strip sex creep. The West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band was the Markley-funded masterplan to get little girls into his bed. However good the records are, and they are, his explicit lyrical confessions - or bragging - make them nearly unlistenable. Yikes.

Lloyd, apparently, floated over all this gutter filth without being touched by it. He helmed the proto-punk psychploitation Psychotic Reaction by the un-group The Fire Escape, and cut the St. John Green album [here - Ed] with Fowley, both on cash-grab labels.

Story so far: fresh-faced rich kid gets suckered into Sleazy Street by show-biz vampires. How does this play out? Not well, obviously - a descent into drugs and cults, sordid sex and an ugly death, the tragic waste of an All American Boy, and a lesson for us all. Except, not.

In '68, Lloyd wrote, played on, produced and arranged two albums: The Smoke, and October Country. He penned very nearly all the songs, produced and arranged everything, and Fowley only got to write some sleevenotes, boo-fucking-hoo. His absence is like a ray of sunshine. The qualities that made Lloyd valuable to Fowley - talent, mostly - had gotten him noticed by music biz professionals. Each of these albums is a gem, and better considered, given his total involvement, as by Michael Lloyd.

October Country (a real band) were uncomfortable with the groovy LA scene, and all became propane salesmen, Jehova's Witnesses, industrial felt pressers and pet beauticians. The Smoke was another un-band, but the full sound is distinctly LA session finest, an only slightly sub-Brian Wilson pocket pop masterpiece. Why weren't they marketed as Michael Lloyd albums? I'm guessing he was too modest, not that interested in being a star, and considered them as side projects, like the Fire Escape and St. John Green albums. Just records.

And then things went weird.

In 1969, Mike Curb appointed Lloyd, then aged 20, as vice-president in charge of A&R at MGM. Twenty freaking years old. What were you doing at twenty? I can't remember, but I certainly wasn't cruising Sunset Boulevard in a soft top Camaro. Curb, squarer than a bathroom tile, was purging MGM of anything vaguely drug-related (including the Velvet Underground and The Mothers), and Lloyd moved seamlessly into high-end MOR, squeaky-teen pop, and major movie soundtracks, his psychedelic pside projects quickly forgotten. He's still alive and scarily youthful and charming, and Fowley is none of the above. But as is the way of these things, Fowley is still revered for being "a character", "chameleon-like", and even a "legend", while Lloyd is mostly forgotten by zeitgeist types, and happier that way. Today's deliverable bundles The Fire Escape (a great little album, against all the odds), a re-covered October Country, and The Smoke.

Mike in the middle, of the road

 

This post funded by Mike Curb's Hair Helmets© - "all the protection of a crash hat, all the style of Dick Clark!"

Explain The Title And Win The Album! Dept.

 

Bang!

Thirty Minutes Dept. - Sounds From Uranus!

This is what Uranus looks like! Actual photograph! Of Uranus!

 

This is yer actual gas music from Uranus! Captured by the zircon-encrusted antenna of NASA's deep space probe Voyager! It's what Lou Reed was trying for with Metal Machine Music, but much more interesting, varied, complex, listenable, and human - Now That's What I Call Minimalist Drone! You'll dig it to fall asleep to, or have blasting from the holodeck when unexpected guests drop by! Play it in the car on long road trips, and see where you wake up! Slowly pump it up as background noise at work while you deal with that irate customer! Trip out to it at the Waffle House™! It's the soundtrack to the far side of tomorrow, today!

 

This post made possible thru th' cooperation of the wacky geeks at NASA!

It's Da Boids! Dept.

"Complete" version of Ballad Of Easy Rider, under its original title. Thirty tracks. From 1969, with Peter Fonda as Jim-Roger McGuinn, and Dennis Hopper as David Crosby. I was so dumb/stoned when I saw this I thought it was really real, but the realest thing about it was Jack Nicholson's performance. There's acting, there's movie acting, and there's Jack.

Original screed here.

And here's what Sony Japan did:

  ... and ze Frrrrainch version (e-hon e-hon e-hon):