Monday, November 30, 2020

Unsee! Homely-Type Guys In Amish Librarian Wanda Kefauver's Box!

You'll know
Wanda
from her confrontational advocacy of the Dewey Decimal System, but did you know she's also a keen collector of obscure country rock vinyl? That's right, subscribers!

Wanda, helming policy meeting, yesterday

Wanda, visiting th' Isle O' Foam© as part of her global outreach program, spoke yesterday with public library enthusiast Farquhar Throckmorton III as Kreemé [19 my ass - Ed.] served chilled root beers and gave neck rubs poolside.

WK: Which you are much feted for your enlightened stance toward, like, bookishness and suchlike, Farq.

FT3: Likewise I'm sure! I gots nuthin' against swell tomatoes like yourself on account which they espouse book learnin' for th' bum in th' street, toots!

WK: Playing Who's In My Box? will highlight stocking and shelving issues within the Amish community.

FT3: You bet yer ass, honey! Have you brung some obscure country rock artist in your box for th' Four Or Five Guys©?

WK: (giggles) Shall we give them a peek?

EDIT: Turns out nobody recognised ths swell tune. Take a peek at the back cover of Bearfoot's first album and take a guess why these guys couldn't get hits. Jeez. Lookit that guy. The face only a mother could love. A Canafia pimp wit' his entourage.

Yes, we're putting on our snowshoes and trekking North O' Th' Border again in what is to be the last in this popular and long-running series, for Bearfoot's medium-swell couple of albums for Epic in '72 and '73. Hit the link in the comments, if you have nothing better to do (spoiler - you probably do).


 

Sunday, November 29, 2020

Somethin' For Sunday Dept. - Ralph McTell

Tell you what. If Ralph McTell had relocated to Laurel Canyon he'd have been a bigger star. But he didn't care about any of that crap. Working-class, tough, big-hearted, McTell busked the streets, read the beats, wrote Streets Of London, which even today defies a sneer. He filled the Albert Hall with hearts, not holes, and he even headlined at the Montreux Jazz Festival (it says here).

You, Well-Meaning Brought Me Here (great title) is "one of the best albums of the singer/songwriter movement of the early 1970s" according to Allmusic, and giving credit where it's due, they're right. There's a vocal similarity to James Taylor, but Ralph was never going to make the girls swoon like the Sweet Baby, and his writing lacks Taylor's subtle abstract appeal - nothing as poetic as Fire And Rain here. He also lacks Taylor's introspection, bordering on self-obsession. He composes narratives about others, empathetically, which is what traditional folk music is all about, and where McTell's roots lie. Social conscience hasn't dated well, unfortunately, and it's harder to care about his fictional characters' plights in the Age Of The Selfie. The Ferryman, the closing track, is extraordinary, and way too short at seven minutes.

This is the U.K. release, without Streets Of London. You want the earlier Spiral Staircase, which includes that, let me know.

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Saturday Slug-Fest Dept. - Davis Vs. John!

It's a Thanksgiving Davis vs. John cagefight today! We're pitting one of John [Coltrane- Ed.]'s famed "Duvet Of Sound" recordings Ballads against a late period [Miles - Ed.] Davis waxing, The Man With The Horn. Which is a way better title than Davis' original suggestion The Man With The Boner.

Who's gonna slaughter his opponent in this jazz-adjacent musical Bloodstock?

Our ever tin-eared Allmusic reviewer opines that The Man With The Horn is shaky, unmemorable, poppish, and throwaway, so we just know it has to be one mighty swell album! And it is, featuring some freaking bowel-clenching guitar from Barry Finnerty, who has a featured album featured shortly, in a feature.

Davis, or John? Who'll be left standing after this Holiday Cagefight? You decide in the comments! Hoo boy!

Friday, November 27, 2020

Zen And The Art Of One Man Band Clapping

So who do we blame? Stevie Wonder? Todd *shudder* Rundgren? Les Paul? Emmit Rhodes? Jimmy Giuffre? The idea of one non-gender-specific guy playing all/most of the instruments on an album is as old as multi-track recording. In theory and practice, it's do-able. But I have a problem with one-man bands (apart from Stevie Wonder). No matter how well done, they just don't engage me.

Case in point - dude calls himself (and why exactly?) The Foreign Films. This is technically a superb piece of work, from the base of terrific, melodic songwriting, through accomplished performance, up to the subtlest production touch. But jeez. I dunno. I like bands, me. I like the dynamics, the interplay. Or, I like solo artists, on their lonesome or backed by a band. The one-man band is neither, a kind of rosé between the white and the red.

The Record Collector is well-named. It's the sound of someone recreating the idea of his record collection - 60s and 70s - from memory. I can't fault it - it's an astonishing achievement. I admire it, but ... but ... ah nuts, here it is anyway.

If you very correctly don't give much of a shit about my abstract concerns, you'll get beaucoup of pop bang for your buck from this.

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Johnny Mercer Caps Career With Hall Of Foam© Honor!

Mercer, 2nd left, at the Foam-O-Drome© yesterday. Photo: Weegee
 

"Gee whiz, guys!" sobbed tunesmith Johnny Mercer yesterday when inducted into the prestigious Hall Of Foam© by genial show host Farquhar Throckmorton III [above right - Ed.]. "This is what I worked for all my career! All my life!"

The Four Or Five Guys© packed into the Foam-O-Drome© burst into applause when Kreemé [19 my ass - Ed.] read his name from the envelope, adding heartfelt cries of "Whipping Post!", "Yo! Kreemé!", and "Who?"

To celebrate, Johnny's giving away this limited edition three-disc Mosaic Select set of his recordings. Eighty furshlugginer hits - any one of which is worth more than everything you've done in your entire life! Is it ever swell!

This post sponsored by Man From Uncle Dry Cleaning And Spy Headquarters.


Outlaws And Firearms - Jesse Winchester

His name is the perfect Old West combination, and his story is pretty dramatic. He took it on the lam to Canada, figuring it was a better bet than Vietnam. He seemed born to be a Canadian. He looked Canadian. He's modest and "Quiet About It" (a song title) and a fine songwriter who maybe didn't quite sing them at their best - he left that to names more famous than his.

And I have to say - he's a little on the boring side. I can only work up the same amount of enthusiasm for his work as he does, which seems fair.

“I’d rather just hang in there with good music, slow and steady, and share it, rather than set the world on fire all at once.” It's not like he had the choice. 

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

TL-DR Dept. - Bendigo Wonglepong Struggles To Remember A Gig

Say hi! to Bendigo Wonglepong, who pops his literary cherry with this bittersweet reminiscence of a gig he's pretty sure he went to because it's in his diary.

Bendy's high school year book photo, possibly.

I’ve seen a few mismatches. Paolo Nutini supported by Marth Wainwright at the Eden Project comes to mind. I saw Sha Na Na supported by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown at the Kursaal in Southend. The Canvey Island Teds who had flocked in, apparently oblivious to the fact that Sha Na Na were at the piss-taking end of the rock ‘n’ roll spectrum, showed their disapproval of the hippie shit they were being subjected to by lobbing empty beer cans at Arthur right through his set, even when he set fire to his head.

The Irish Rovers [left - Ed.] were the only group to include Siamese Twins in their line-up  - Paddy and Pat Shellaighoighly played the banjo together.

But the Irish Rovers supported by Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band probably takes the biscuit. This was at a nightclub called the Ice House in Glendale, California (DVV’s [Don Van Vliet - Ed.] home patch as it happens), sometime between June 28 and July 3, 1966, it says here. I was doing the then-obligatory 99 days for $99 Greyhound trip round the States and had wound up in Glendale staying with a GI bride friend of my mother’s. It was her daughter who (rather sulkily) took me on this pulsating night out. Not that I was expecting much anyway; I was taking a snooty view of any music that had come my way. My head was probably turned by the adulation I got from girls when I offhandedly revealed that I’d seen the Beatles, twice, and hinted that I might actually, you know, know them…Over several nights in San Francisco I had passed up the chance to see the Grateful Dead, Quicksilver Messenger Service and Big Brother and the Holding Company on the grounds that they couldn’t possibly be as good as the Stones or the Yardbirds [Haw! Wotta sap! - Ed.].

The Captain and his crew weren’t as good as the Stones or the Yardbirds either. Noisy and shambolic, they were pretty much your basic blues covers band, with DVV channelling Howlin’ Wolf or John Lee Hooker (and Worzel Gummidge) while giving his gob iron a serious thrashing. There was some nice slide guitar, but not from Ry Cooder, sadly (this is hindsight – I’d never heard of him then). I have no memory of what they played, but it presumably included ‘Diddy Wah Diddy’, their first single, which had come out a few months before. There’s an ex-bootleg on Spotify called Live at the Avalon Ballroom, recorded around the time I saw them, which gives a good idea of how they sounded – which, I have to say, is considerably better than I remember. Their gig list at this time shows that they were already regulars at the Fillmore West and the Whisky A-Go-Go, where they were supported by Buffalo Springfield & The Doors, amazingly, and they’d even done a gig at the Hollywood Bowl with the Beach Boys. So colour me snooty, as usual…

Then, with a crashing of gears that could probably be heard in Santa Monica, the Irish Rovers. I remember them being very jolly and very Irish. Over the years I’ve re-outfitted them in my mind in white fishermen’s sweaters, but on the cover of their first album, Live at the Ice House, 1966, they are correctly dressed in green. (This is a different Ice House, in Pasadena, still going, remarkably). If the track list is any guide, they sang ‘The Irish Rover’, as well as those traditional Irish staples ‘My Old Man’s a Dustman’ and ‘Donald Where’s Your Troosers’. It’s an odd experience, listening to them again; what they do, they do well, but what they do is no more my sort of thing now than it was then – less so, if anything.

I don’t remember the audience rebelling at either of these acts, so perhaps the pairing seemed less weird than it does now. I kept a diary of the trip, but all that day’s entry says is ‘Saw Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band and the Irish Rovers.’ If I’d known that someone would be interested 54 years later I might have made some notes [Bless! - Ed.]

Recreate the heady ambience of that mythic Ice House gig in the comfort of your own yurt by illegally downloading the two - count 'em! two! - swell record albums by the featured acts!

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Thanksgiving Slugfest Dept. - Claudine Longet Vs. Black Sabbath!

As it's Thursday, we're staging a very special Thanksgiving Musical Cagefight between two much-loved acts who are in real life the closest of pals! That's right! Miss Claudine Longet is regularly to be seen line dancing or sharing a Walmart cart with Black Sabbath!

Fun FoamFact™- That's Claudine posing for the iconic cover!

Neighbors at the Old Indian Burial Ground Retirement Village (Mule Hoof, KY), they loan each other's leaf blower, share sneaker deodorant, and enjoy scrapbooking sessions, frequently buck-nekkid and higher than a cat's back!

"Which they're the best pals a gal like I could have!" Claudine [19 my ass - Ed.] breathed yesterday. "But they're also a bunch of candy-ass Brit pussies, and I will totally own them in the cage!"

"Ha ha!" chuckled Black Sabbath, tape-tubing Nitrous Oxide from a scuba tank before passing out on the porch.

Who will win, subscribers? The fat blokes from Birmingham or the petite shantoozie from, like, Paris or somewhere? Place your bets in the comments! And Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 23, 2020

Sit Down! It's The Colchester Sound!

The Caravans were a group from Britain, England. They hailed from the sleepy village of Colchester, along with The Pink Floyds and The Soft Machines, and soon the country was a' rockin' to the Swingin' Colchester Sound, which was like the U.K. version of the Bosstown Sound, only a couple of years later. The Caravans eschewed the vulgarity of the electric guitar, and were famous for sitting in comfy armchairs for gigs, being served cups of tea by "fags", who were not what you're thinking at all but well-turned-out young boys from good families taking part in an ancient English ritual ... oh.

Their signature extended melodic excursions quickly attracted a fanbase of pimply schoolboys and middle-class hippies. The Colchester Sound was like a gentleman's club, a place you went for a smoke and a snooze.

That's not to say the Colchester Sound was undemanding - both "The Softies" and "The Pinks" (as they were affectionately known by fans) could put out some pretty scary head-bending music - but The Caravans' comfort zone was alway agreeable melody, something a chap could whistle whilst pruning the roses.

This stuff is swell. Unique (until James Hatfield And The Norths came along), idiosyncratic, sometimes beautiful, with that trademark touch of Colchester whimsy, it's played at the annual Isle O' Foam© Croquet Club World Series, and goes down swell with cucumber sandwiches and/or a gigantic fucking spliff.

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Always On Sunday Dept. - Andy Williams, God Of Tantric Sex!

How great is Andy Williams? He could reach notes unscalable by normal human beings, without oxygen. Wotta set a pipes the guy gots! And he never resorts to the corny vibrato of Bronx funeral singers (like *cough* Tony Bennett *cough*). Technically, there is no better singer. But the technique is never cold, as it is in classical-type singing (opera, lieder, all that stick-up-th'-ass shit my first wife liked). The guy invests every syllable with exactly the right emotional heft, never - quite - going over the top. Tell you what - I bet he was great in bed. I bet he never got any complaints in that direction. I bet he played th' dames like he sang; dynamic, slow builds to multiple climaxes. I bet that's an opinion you're not going to see anywhere else on an internet, also too.

This was his global breakthrough album, staying on the charts for three furshlugginer years. You have to flinch through Never On Sunday (a shit song on any day of the week) to hear his take on As Time Goes By, which shows he gots nuance out th' ass. But it's the unbelievably great renditions of standards like Moon River that make this album the Everest of Music Like This. Leave us not forget, Hortense, it's him what made them standards.

Yes, the arrangements are the musical equivalent of seasonal knitwear. Yes, it's everything my generation fought so heroically against during the Acid Wars. I'm old enough to forgive. To wallow. It's Sunday!

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Play "Who's In My Box?" With Marine Biologist Moxie Cowznofski!


Moxie Cowznofski
  [pictured discovering Atlantis, above - Ed.] is some swell tomato! Major in, like, Marine Biology And Nailcare Design at prestigious Diploma University College (Fort Sowhide, AK), also respected Amazon Verified Purchase Reviewer, Moxie is role model for feminine-type empowerment!

"I like challenging Norms," Moxie [19 my ass - Ed.] breathed yesterday at the dames-only I.O.F.© Wellness Yurt. "Also, Irvs and Hymies. Th' dopes! Dose shmucks look at me like which I'm this dumb broad what know nuthin', on account my pulchritude."

"Which youse also brung a album, right?"

"It's in my box, Farq, like which you requested!"

Get a peek into Moxie's Box in the comments! Oboy! Some fun, huh, guys?


EDIT: Bumppa wins! The peek into Moxie's Boxie revealed a glimpse of the album called Bridge by the Canadian group of the same name. Its antecedent, mentioned in the piece, is the album called David, by the Canadian group of the same name.

Both are thoughtfully provided in the comments, should you be desirous of educatin' yerself.


Friday, November 20, 2020

Our Back Pages Dept. - Sunset Album Redux

Four Or Five Guy© Tooner left a request for this to be re-upped, and rather than bury it in the sand down there in the comments, I'm bringing it to your attention should you of, like, been in th' shower first time around (unlikely for skunky Pmac, who rinses off a paltry once a week - yeeuch).

[Swell art at left. Click for bigly - Ed.]

I'm also copy-pasting screed so you don't gots to trek away from the comfort zone of this page, ya lazy-ass bum. You can pick your feet in Poughkeepsie while you read it. You gots nuthin' better to do right now and and don't kid yerself.

That Brian Wilson survived the sixties at all is surprising. That he made this music over half a century after the Beach Boys' first album is astonishing. It's evidence that his muse, although taking a well-deserved break from time to time, never left him. No Pressure Radio - credited here to Brian Wilson And The Beach Boys - is an assemblage of songs from That's Why God Made The Radio and No Pier Pressure. I've omitted all the celebrity "feat." team-ups, the up-beat numbers, anything vaguely quirky. And Mike Love, who whines: "I was disappointed with the album's direction. I was denied much songwriting input." Just one of the reasons the album came out as swell as it did, Mike! We cordially urge Mr. Love to get on his motorbike and accelerate up his own ass, forever.

What we're left with is an old man, toes in the sand at sunset, lost in the warmth of the sun. A suite, a hymnal, as full of melody as the beach is full of sand. The subtle quotes from early Beach Boy hits are pitched absolutely right and part of the DNA. The participation of David Marks, Al Jardine, Blondie Chaplin and Ricky Fataar is inspired. Carl and Dennis are here in spirit. Bruce Johnston probably wore shorts at the mic, and good for him.

I can't offhand think of another artist who better expressed the euphoria of youth and lived long enough to sing the melancholy of old age so affectingly. Although never a surfer, he made us all feel like we were catching that wave - the giddy rush of sheer teenage fun never sounded so real. And here we are, a lifetime down the line. He's not bitter, angry, or even depressed. He can still write and sing the upbeat stuff (which the world apparently has little use for), but his heart is here, in the acceptance of old age and the world that lives only in glowing memory. And that's what memory can be, as old people know - lit by the warmth of an inner sun.

It's not an album he could ever have released himself - as the Eternal Teenager, he'd get bored with the lack of rock n' roll - but it shows his beautiful soul as transparently as anything he ever did. Fourteen songs, forty-four minutes. Proper album. God, this is beautiful.

Thank you Brian, for everything.


Thursday, November 19, 2020

Son Of Return Of Bride Of The Kurse Of The Kaftan Dept. - Colours

In the latest in our popular series documenting the transition from love beads to Levi bibs (which a little bird tells me is up for a Pulitzer nom this year!) we're looking at the swell group Colours [note swanky English spelling - Ed.].

Their first album - a beautiful piece of work - is from '68 because of course it is, and gets the usual sniffy critical dismissal, mainly for being influenced by the Beatles.

Couple of things. Every pop group and rock band on the planet was influenced by the Beatles, because they were all over the media like no other band. They had it sewn up, due to talent supported by savvy management and publicity. So yeah, Colours sound like the Beatles, like everybody else. Second thing is, the Beatles didn't invent the psych-pop idiom or its vocabulary - they were just as influenced as anybody else, but they were quicker on the uptake and quicker on the output, a real-time barometer of what was happening in late 'sixties pop.

Misleading cover art by Victor Moscoso

Okay - what we have here is the world class rhythm section of Carl Radle and Chuck Blackwell, with songs performed and written by Jack Dalton and Gary Montgomery. Only the latter two (apparently) went on to the second album, Atmosphere (sometimes called Colours by a group called Atmosphere, which makes zero sense). As it's '69 already, all the psych trappings are dropped, but this isn't country rock, it's a straight ahead, non-ironic and damn swell rock album. Which is more than the Beatles ever managed, right?

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Klassics Of Literature Out Th' Ass Dept. - The Karl Malden Kollection

You'll know teenage Tinseltown dreamboat Karl Malden from his many beach comedies from the early 'sixties, co-starring with wholesome gal-next-door Velda [later Arthur - Ed.] Kowznofski! Yeppers! Movies like such what as Dune Of Th' Dipso's, Surfing For Satan, Beach Blanket Booze Hound, Drunk Tank Teen, Hawaii Hangover, Jailbait Jamboree, and Surf Bunnies From Uranus made Kutie Karl a household name (for Hymie and Hortense Household, Pork Bend, WA), but did you know he's also like this respected academic authority on hi-toned literature out th' ass like such as what we dig here on th' Isle O'Foam©?

Velda, tilting horizon yesterday, left. Photo: courtesy UncleB.

Turns out the beachville beefcake has an extensive collection of rare and out of print material that he's generously allowing th' Four Or Five Guys™ to get their claws on! Oboy! Karl granted us this interview as he had his cuticles pushed back poolside yesterday:

FT3: Gee, Karl, it sure is swell that you're sharing your legacy of literature with us! What ya brung?
KM: It's the entire collection, Fraq [typo - Ed.]. Unparalleled in the world of the arts an' books an' suchlike. There's a couple rare collectors' issues of EC's Vault Of Horror©, an' this rare collectible copy of Creem Magazine, an' that ain't all! I also brung this here collectibly rare eggsample of th' San Francisco Oracle!
FT3: Uh - that's it? Four dumb magazines?
KM: You want 'em or not, ya lousy ingrate?
FT3: Well, okay, but I is disappoint.
KM: Why, you cheap bum ... for two cents I'd - I'd -
FT3: Yeah? You an' whose army, reindeer-nose?

[Interview breaks up at this point - FX smashing crockery, stage punches etc. - Ed.]

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

A Canadian Country Rock Christmas From Canadia!

Happy Christmas! To usher in Yule - why wait? - we're putting on our snowshoes and trekking north of the border to Canadia, where Christmas is celebrated year-round! Canadia is like this one continent what sits on top of the U.S.A. It's famous for husky lumberjacks sharing rough-hewn log cabins, and "Mounties" (smiling policemen on horseback in boyscout hats and gay pants), and Cheddar cheese, and framed pictures of Queen Hortense II Of Britain, and Perry Como, patron saint of seasonal knitwear.

But did you know Canadia also produced some swell country rock? Oh, okay, maybe you did. But there will be some stuff here even you ain't heard, smart boy.

The common thread running through this snowy tapestry of rock is a pair of guys what eschewed the traditions of lumbersexuality and Mountiehood to follow the (country) rocky path to riches and fame.


Say howdy! to Brian Edwards and Rayburn Blake, and their swell band Mashmakhan, what cut these here albums in (Ed look up dates please) [blow it out yer ass, Farq - Ed.] (Fine - you just kissed your Christmas bonus goodye) [1970 and '71 - Ed.].

Then they moved on to Riverson and helped out Cliff Edwards on his hemmorhagingly rare Transition [both '73- Ed.] for which we are beholden to Tremolo, curator of the Tremolo Lost Arkives Of Rock™, which is where the Smithsonian goes for its vinyl. Thanks, Trem, and happy Yule from th' Four Or Five Guys©!

Brian Edwards joined the R.C.M.P. in '79, the year Ray Blake started Logs-R-Us©, a boutique lumber company in Quebec.

Monday, November 16, 2020

Dames! Get The Funk Outta Your Face With This Swell New Hygiene Product!

Jazz funk!
Who sez it's just for guys? Not The Crusaders! And not us on th' Isle O'Foam©, by George! It's for everybody - and that includes the dames - who needs to eradicate irksome funk build-up from their facial pores!

And as nine out of ten Epidermal Hygienists aver* there's nothing as effective as the smooth sound of The Crusaders for getting the funk out of your face!

Yes, subscribers, daily application of the featured albums will leave your face funk free, and that's a FoamGuarantee©! But that's not all! If you've been having trouble getting on down, you'll be floored by these swell recordings! Need a man to come in and do the popcorn? Simply download our five - count 'em - five - clinically approved albums and stand back from the stove!

*Study rubber-stamped by Dr. Snurdley Q. Axolotl M.D. [left - Ed.] at the FalseMemoryFoam© Laboratory Of Science. Offer void where prohibited by law or your Mom. Side effects may include but not be limited to catalepsy, Furshlugginer's Disease, death, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, mild dyspepsia, and the heartbreak of psoriasis. Consult your pharmacist if in doubt.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

Something For Sunday Dept. - Chris Rea

Nope, me neither. Chris Rea's musical œuvre [Fr. egg - Ed.] passed me by like fog in the night. He's an unexceptional niceguy journeyman rocker. Big in Germany, probably. The Guinness Rockopedia [me neither - Ed.] calls him a "gravel-voiced guitar stalwart". But he cut this blissful near-masterpiece, the perfect soundtrack for th' Isle O'Foam©, in the U.K. in '86, probably the last place and time you'd look for something as sheerly summery. It transcends any genre - you're probably thinking yacht rock - to deliver understated emotional punch. Consistently swell, and more fine white sand than gravel. Dig!

Saturday, November 14, 2020

Kut-Out-'n-Keep Dept. - Your Own Free Official I.o'F.© Postcard!


Oboy!
To answer the many requests for a tangible, postal-service-based giveaway that combines beauty with practicality, I'm pleased to make this superb Official Postcard available at no cost - just a dollar! - to th' Four Or Five Guys©!

Inform your less fortunate pals anent your whereabouts with this elegant and tastefully-worded mail-adjacent solution! Or simply display in elegant gilt-effect frame to achieve swell decor accent for den or lobby - surefire conversation starter when unexpected guests drop by!

Note Farq's personal 1949 Delahaye 175S Roadster used as beach buggy bong-house! Note MAD Magazine dirigible giving tours of island! Note What-Me-Worry Kid™ tempting you from foliage! Note fine sand quality! Note clear blue sky! Note palm trees! With the noting, enough already!

Friday, November 13, 2020

Kneckbeard Hipster Dept. - Davis And John Jazztacular!

Jazzbos refer to Miles Davis by his surname, and John Coltrane by his given name. Don't get this wrong! Nothing shames the neophyte like calling them Miles and Coltrane!

Davis' Big Fun album is just that. Critics lament the outtakes, inferior versions, whatever, like they're paid to. None of what they claim to hear is in the groove. This is a monster album. Light on demanding atonality, heavy on harmonic groove. Inventive, varied, tuneful. This is the massively extended edition, two hours and twenty minutes of meditative, mildly psychedelic bliss.

John, as we jazz buffs call him, is represented by Lush Life, which sounds exactly like what John and Jane Q. Public think jazz sounds like. No sheets of sound here - more like pillowcases, and to my old ears all the better for it.

The critics rave: "undergirded by a lightheartedness", "arrangements that emerge singular and clear, never sounding preconceived". Well, golly gee!

Thursday, November 12, 2020

Fountains Of The Dept. of Water & Power Dept.

Beaver & Krause - what were they for? Not hits. Not sold-out concerts coast to coast. Not T.V. and festival appearances. Yet they got a major label contract. There aren't any major labels any more, not in the sense of Warner Brothers, a bunch of hip professionals with access to the best musical, artistic and technical skills and facilities on the planet. Including the great Ed Thrasher, who art directed their Warners releases. These sleeves are gorgeous works of art.

So anyway. Beaver & Krause. Their pioneering use of synthesisers in a synthesis of traditional American music and cutting-edge electronics was seen as musical evolution, a way forward - again, something unimaginable today, when every recording references the past. The future has disappeared for this generation - it's somewhere they'd rather not look. But back then, the future was a good place to be. It was exciting and adventurous and fun.

If these recordings sound dated and even quaint, that's the listener's loss. The experiment was always just that, an experiment. Let's combine this and this and see what happens. Maybe something will grow out of it, something unexpected. It didn't, of course. Music was to turn in on itself in a self-referential möbius strip, and we have to look to the past for the new.

Download includes their Nonesuch Moog demonstration album [not shown - Ed.], half of which George Harrison stole for his Electronic Sound album, where it was as unlistenable as it is here.

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

The Restitution And Celebration Of A Sex God

Late period Tim Buckley is routinely dismissed by Rock Critics, but here on th' Isle O'Foam© those sad fucks are accorded less respect than nailticians. They can't bring themselves to say gee, dese albums sure is swell! because they're keen to display their knowledge of that all-important back story, the context of the artist's life and career. And, they're paid to be clever. The truth is always dumb, in-your-face, never complicated and clever.


These albums were seen as a betrayal of Buckley's sensitive, folksy, troubadour roots. Fanboys and critics alike resent it when the artist does what he wants, as opposed to what they think he should do. But if anyone was qualified to be a strutting, howling Rn'B soul-funk sex machine, it was Buckley. These albums are flat-out fantastic. His vocal chops are as astonishing as they ever were, and he's backed by in-the-pocket rhythm sections on songs as challenging as any he wrote. But funkier, dammit!

Unfortunately, both Greetings From L.A. and Look At The Fool suffered from uninspired and downright dull sleeve art from Cal Schenkel, who clearly missed Zappa's art direction (he got Sefronia right, so I left that one alone).

Tim died broke at 28. God rest his beautiful soul.

It's Sunday! Again!

We don't quite go the extra mile here at th' Isle O'Foam©, because that would put us out to sea, but we do go as far as we can, frequently wading out waist-deep into the crystal-clear and warm water. That's where we found the Afro-Cuban All Stars second album, too swell to be lost in the comments to Sunday's piece.

So if you have a straw hat, put it at a rakish angle on your noggin and smoke this. Human music, rolled to perfection.

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Wyrdness Abounds On Th' College Circuit

The Third Ear Band probably mean zip to you if you're a Merkin in Merika, but they were all over the festival and college circuit in the U.K. The thinking hippie's soundtrack to The Lord Of The Rings, the Thirdies were an authentically and uniquely strange band, conjuring up misty moods of wiccan wyrdness with a hauntingly raga-esque approach to instrumental improvisation.

The cover to their first album (on Harvest - where else?) had a powerful impact at the time, featuring some history-type dude making an omelette with a sword. Wo-ah! The music delivered, but this wasn't an album to take to parties (trust me - I tried). This was an album to lie on the floor in the dark to, passing a spliff around.

They did it again with their second album, a mystic treatise on th' elements, and then took Polanski's dollar for the soundtrack to Macbeth, and if you're expecting upbeat tunes and twangy party themes you're in for a disappointment.

Download contains all their shit from the extended editions, entire new albums of runic ruminations to convince you you're levitating above Stonehenge. Don't play this for your main squeeze unless she's a witch.

Monday, November 9, 2020

Play "Who's In My Box?" With Moviedom's Joi Lansing!

Hubba Hubba! Guess who's just moved to th' Isle O'Foam©! Yes, it's society sweater girl Joi Lansing! Older readers may remember her as "Gumdrop" in T.V.'s The Cupcake Co-Eds, and her roles in H'wood blockbusters A Nun In The House, Sorority Sleepover, and The Eleanor Roosevelt Story garnered kudos a-plenty from movie-goers!

But even her most devoted fan will be unaware of her passion for 'sixties psychedelic rock albums! Joi took time out from arranging her lingerie drawer to talk to us yesterday!

FT3: You want me to come back when you got some clothes on?
JL: The human body is nothing to be ashamed of, Farq!
FT3: (*snaps elastic bow tie*) Speak for yourself, doll! But hey - what's in your box?
JL: My Mystery Box? Why, it's an obscure album like what I brung with me to Fabulous False Memory Foam Island©!
FT3: Are you going to give the Four Or Five Guys™ a peek?
JL: [giggles, opens box] Who's in here, guys?!

EDIT: Anonymous Billy Gates wins a set of vegetarian steak knives for his correct identification of the psychedelic rock band hiding in Joi's box! Link in comments.