Sunday, May 17, 2020

COVID Dept. - As Restrictions Ease, Wisconsin Guy Still Can't Get Laid

Wasted manhood, yesterday
Pork Bend, WIS.

"It's a damn waste of manhood, is what it is," lamented Pork Bend resident Bundy Q. Pole yesterday. "I am available! I am primo stud material what any girl would be lucky of gettin' action with, frankly, an' after these weeks of like, jackin' off to PornHub this bad boy is rarin' to go! My balls are fukken GRENADES! But these fukken bitches, Jesus, I swear to God, they're like, no? NO?"

Local hot babe Jensen Carbody (19)
Hot babe, yesterday
tells it differently: "Us girls been social distancing that asshat since he learn to walk. Like, when he was eight? Don't even think about it, no way, not even with a full body mask in a tub of bleach, buddy."

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10 comments:

  1. rorygMay 17, 2020 at 6:05 PM

    Sounds like the batch of putrescence that was whining up at the Capitol a few weeks ago. Sure looked like a (little) sausage party with a few thick blondes who needed their hair done. It took several days to clean up the drool they left behind...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jack Kerouac's CatMay 17, 2020 at 6:56 PM

    It's going to be a tight race for the 2020 Darwin Awards.

    ReplyDelete
  3. EWMay 17, 2020 at 8:13 PM

    One point has been consistently made with Trump and his flock: you cain't tell stupid what to do.

    ReplyDelete
  4. pmacMay 18, 2020 at 2:06 AM

    We are not venturing out until phase 2 kicks in - at the earliest.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Farquhar Throckmorton IIIMay 18, 2020 at 6:16 AM

    Change "their" to "our" and that's a T-shirt I can wear.

    ReplyDelete
  6. foppingtonMay 18, 2020 at 10:58 PM

    The hot babe looks like she just spent five whole minutes under a UV-C light.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Farquhar Throckmorton IIIMay 19, 2020 at 6:52 AM

      Pork Bend installed the Donald Trump Memorial UV-C Anti-COVID Treatment Center in back of the Hardee's on U-Haul Ave. Jensen Carbody (19) treats herself to thirty minutes every day after her internship at the nailtician.

      Delete
  7. B.B.May 19, 2020 at 10:09 AM

    I knew the day would eventually come when I got my very own FMF Trading Card (Patent Leather Boy Pending, Some rights reserved, All wrongs reversed)

    ReplyDelete

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