Friday, April 3, 2020

Special Announcement Dept. Special Announcement!

Bye for now, boys!
Th' House O' Foam© was built about a year ago, in real time. I was crazy! they said. Nobody will come! they said. But with that one movie about that one postman what builds a baseball stadium out in th' ocean as my inspiration, I gazed at the horizon and whispered "if I build it, they will come."

And come you did! Four or Five Guys© racked up over half a million visits in twelve months, from all corners of the globe [except Africa and India - Ed.], leading me to think you use VPNs extensively and hammer those links because you enjoy hammering. My faith in the unique and patented Foam Formula® was vindicated! That formula in full; swell music, literature out th' ass, and dames in bikinis! And boffo laffs - hoo boy!

Averaging 1.1 posts per day, and 3.8 gags per post, gives a total of two thousand one hundred and ninety-three [no it doesn't - Ed.] boffo laffs, way more than any other pop culture blog that thinks it's funny!

But I'm a little pooped right now. I'm on th' ropes. Bereft of inspiration. Plumb tuckered. I'm thinking maybe move to the Keys and open that bait shop. Finish restoring that project Pinto in the yard. Whatever - in the mean time, the in-between time, th' House O' Foam© will remain open for freeloadin' bums and panic-download looters until I get my yoks back. I'll swing by to rake out the spam from time to time, but otherwise - be seeing youse!


42 comments:

  1. this has been a v clever riff, great fun, sometimes funny, and we're all the better for it. Stiff upper lip and all that.

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  2. Stay safe, my friend. And, where's my ant farm?

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  3. Shit. This is the best thing since Mad Mag shut down. I came here everyday to laugh. Especially during this virus crap.Didn't download much at all. Thanks for everything. This was a great site. Be careful out there.

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  4. Thank you for all the writing and music and interactivity. I wish you all the best and hope to see you back sometime.

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  5. We`ll meet again, don`t know where, don`t know when.....blah,blah,blah.

    Cheers Farq`d one.

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  6. Take care my friend, stay safe and healthy.

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  7. echoing the above - but mostly I'll just miss Cody....

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  8. It's been fun, Farq. Until your yoks return, I remain, your most humble and obedient servant.

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  9. Make sure you put a Fuel Cell in that Pinto.....Wouldn't want ya blowin' up or 'nuthin........
    Bait Shops always struck me as having an odd ghoti smell.......

    Have Fun in the Time of Covid (China Originated Virus ID: 19)

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  10. By the way of a fare thee well and thank you for fine times here's a little something to add to the House O'Foam's Steely Danish collection. (Actually a pair of Swedish shan-toosies called Sara Isaksson and Rebecka Tornqvist.) Hope you love it! https://workupload.com/archive/2N6bDgr

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  11. We'll leave a candle in the window. Unfortunately though, none of us are allowed matches.

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  12. will await yer'return with bait breath ... i mean uh bated. (well, maybe both)

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  13. so long and thanks for the fish! (Until you return from your staycation with a boatload of more rotting Squirrelfish for us to eagerly gag down). Eagerly anticipating your return and sharpening my wit (wittling?) while we wait.

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  14. Sorry to hear you're not feeling the groove. Primo Word Jazz as your's will be missed. But it seems you know that it's not working for you now. I can dig that. Be Well Hang Ten Hey Zeus Christo I hope you can find your way back some time. Peace. Out Here.

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  15. Thanks for all that you do. As my dad used to say: "Relax, brother. Relax." See you down the road.

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  16. Thanks for your hard work; your humour will be missed. Hope you get your mojo back after a rest.

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  17. Awwwwww! I mean I was late to the party an' all and when the fun just started...but seriously, take some time off, get the wind back in your sails...this was fun while it lasted...and hey, as long as this place is not shuttered, I'll be lurking...waiting...patiently...mercilessly...for the return of the great Farq. Cheers!

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  18. If I can be someone(what) serious, Farq, I hope your message isn't your usual chuckles but couched this time in a more serious message. Hope all is OK on your end and that all you need is time off. Take it and enjoy the free time. Thanks for everything (especially the Byrds stuff).We hope you'll be back. Well, you and Cody.

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  19. All I can think of now is you returning in spectacular shape, willing to give us, followers, a bit of your humour and music...enjoy this free time...and thank you for everything...cheers from Brazil...

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  20. However things shake out, Farq, I hope you'll rediscover your yoks be it here or elsewhere. Whassat smells like fishbait?

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  21. and goodnight, nos da, and good luck from the bible black vale of clwyd

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  22. Where's the link already?

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  23. Ahem...
    Can I call you farq? I am a Taurus and I'm late to everything! Fashionably late? No! I always wear my pajamas since I've been hanging out in the land of Boyle Heights (near downtown Los Angeles). You see, I have no good excuse to appear so casually neglectful. I discovered this place only in the typical 'JUDAS' season of February while hunting swinging birds and things that go '.'said in the night. So, I will visit here as I am able...but you are still beyond my standard jogging pace. I will be begging from the very back row and if you want to know why there's still some breeze in your sail...it's because I cause more turbulence in pajamas than I do in a fancy polyester jogging suit. I love what I have seen here and hope that you take a day off...but DON'T throw in the towel. Your humor is such that no one will fall for that "industrial linen supply...MOVED to new location" shtick that always takes more than 60 minutes. I know CPR...LAPD...AYBCS...JPGR...and many others like Ernie, Miss Piggy, Big Bird...and Oscar from Sesame Street. Do what must be done with a docile heart. You need inspiration? Yes, you might! But to lock up the foam factory will only prolong the agony. I'm still going to be watching you! You're no Davy Jones...but you are my stepping stone. I like humor more than music. So, don't try to squirrel away ALL the acorns! Will beg for food!!!
    SincereLEE,
    Kwai Chang

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    1. I didn't know you were a Taurus, KC. Me too! 9th May.

      Cheers,
      aitoid

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    2. April 23, 1960 but that's what my mom told me. As farq once lectured me about that poorly woven fabric we call TimE...I think he's bluffing about chronology in general. EVERYONE knows he uses wordplay like a fucking brain surgeon uses a nurse. So who's going to stitch my cranium back together? Who will make sure that he hasn't done permanent damage to my foam? I think he's angling for full membership into a club that he is already the founder of. He might need to watch that bluray edition of Performance. No wig needed. He's always looked good as Mick Jagstone...but, I haven't heard him sing Memo From Turner w/ Ry Cooder. So, I'm going to go MAD like a magazine if he does this Houdini shell-game on us. Let's stop by his penthouse and check that phial of liquid sacrament he's got. I'm thinking it might be half-EMPTY.
      Or, maybe his wings are melting after too many Icarus impersonations!
      Be cool...molecule!
      KC

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    3. Talking of birthdays and mothers, mine would have been (were she still with us) 100 on 3 April.

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  24. Geez ... *snurfle*! ... youse guys are the best pals a guy could have... apart from this thermos, and this lamp ... th' House O'Foam© will be open for business again, so check back occasionally. I'll keep an eye open for re-up requests (made in the relevant comments, please).

    Thanks for all the good wishes.

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  25. Yawning Angel sez...

    Dearest Farkle, truth be told, I mostly came for your humor and the occasional floozies. Nurse Diesel, not so much. Oh, and you also turned me on to some cool music. HO'F was a bright spot in my day. Get back to work ya lazy bum.

    Unicorns and butterfly kisses,
    Yawning Angel

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  26. Shut the front door!

    Just be sure to be wearing your PPE when you do.

    And don't lock it, in case you'll be right back.

    Definitely DO NOT throw away the key, either.

    This is a bummer in the nearly-summer of our Global Discontent.

    I am sure that we (or 4 or 5, at least) will still be here, upon your imminent return.

    Take care & don't worry, if it is on "lockdown" right now, I am sure that The Mojo will return.

    (I didn't care to try to look up whatever a "yoks" is......) (Do hope you have a license for that...)

    - B.(attery about to die again, is the truth of the matter . . . So long from hit-or-miss wi-fi land, aka Sunny So. Cal.!)

    Oh, and, I hereby predict that this will soon become the MOST-"comments"-garnered (or garnished)(what, too garish?) page ever created here in Foam Land.

    (Peace out!)

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    1. Yoks aren't yonks...but they make you laugh a long time.
      Look under the circumstances next to the Papaver garden in the back yard!
      There should be a very high alkaloid content that will not need sanitizing.
      Vacationing on the banks of the Tigris and Euphrates.
      That's his hammock...I'm sure of it!
      KC

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  27. Farquhar Throckmorton III,
    You are a gentleman and a scholar. A wit with wisdom and an archivist with taste.
    Take a break, recharge the batteries (insert in vibrator prior to using) and come back better than ever.
    Remember - Life is short, art is long!
    and
    Music exists to make us all feel less lonely.
    and to quote The Peaky Blinders your blog helps us all get through life and is --- Distilled for the eradication of seemingly incurable sadness.

    See youse down da road

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  28. You will be missed, a new hole in my day...

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  29. Catch you on the flip side, and wash your hands!

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  30. Jack Kerouac's CatApril 5, 2020 at 8:03 AM

    Just so you know, I've been on chemotherapy treatments for the past five months. Thank you for putting a smile on my face, on days when smiles were hard to come by.

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    1. Getting new House O'Foam© premises sorted - moving from Vegas to undisclosed location - have your passports ready - and watch this space!

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    2. Hello JKC...pleased to meet you!
      Although Schrödinger's cat didn't send me...farq may have misinterpreted quantum love when applied to the blogspot conundrum and related mechanical practicality. I've known farq for nearly 10 years and haven't been able to participate here because melanoma is trying to kill me. It's not easy to maintain an optimistic demeanor but farq knows that compassion(and compassionate humor) is very real medicine. I have been getting Immunotherapy infusions since Nov. 25, 2019. It's unfun to live through and to talk about. I hope he knows that he is a pilot light for many. Life is a gift that must be lived regardless of which functions we have been assigned by destiny. If I didn't have cancer, someone else would...but the fact is that he has the gift that many really do need. 200ml every 3 weeks is what I get from the oncology team. farq's humor is precision and I only wish I had been able to tell him that more often! The pilot light must not go out because optimism doesn't come from a pharmacy.
      Peace, friend!
      KC

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  31. Replies
    1. Hey, wait a miniute. I remember how this plays out - as a 3 year old, my parents moved across the country. I never did get the new address.......

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  32. Oh my god, we're now stranded on Gilligan's island. I'm glad I packed 8 trunks of stuff for that 3 hour cruise Mr. Farquhar Throckmorton III took us on.

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