Welcome To Fabulous False Memory Foam© Island!

Your host, yesterday.

As an interim measure to bring joy and hope to millions (Enid and Irving Millions of Crust City, IA) False Memory Foam© is premiering its fabulous new island premises earlier than expected. "That virus thing had gone viral," averred FMF© Prexy Farquhar Throckmorton III yesterday from his luxury beachside Airstream© camper, "and Vegas was losing its bosky Amish charm. Out here on th' Isle of Foam© we're pretty much isolated from everything except each other."

When quizzed about featuring more of the swell fun features that have become a regular feature at th' Home of Foam©, Senior Editor Ed spoke via tin-can-and-string technology from his hybrid duplex treehouse: "It won't be as good as it was. Nothing ever has been. Or will be. Or is. But we can promise the Four Or Five Guys© that the more relaxed island culture here will mean fewer posts, at lower quality!"

Kreemé, yesterday

"Haha ha lol!" laughed billionaire philanthropist [stamp collector - Ed.] Throckmorton. "And dames in bikinis are welcome to quarantine themselves here for the duration - or longer, whichever comes first!"

Outreach Officer Cody was unavailable for comment. "I'm unavailable for comment," she commented yesterday, "on account which my hands are all oily from giving Farq his Maui Babe Tanning And Browning Lotion® massage regime."



The physical relocation of FalseMemoryFoam© Corporate HQ was made possible through the FBI Witness Protection Program, with special thanks to Special Agent Chester "Cheesy" Zajaczkowski.