New Sting Album - "This Smells Like My Vagina"

Sting (left) and new album cover, yesterday

FalseMemoryFoam© played host recently to famed actor, guru, environmentalist, tantric sex enthusiast, and punk rocker Sting. In this exclusive interview he talks about his latest album, slated to drop early April!

FMF© Sting, it's an honor to have you at Th' House O' Foam©!

Sting Of course it is.

FMF© So - the new album! That title! Very brave, and very Sting!

Sting It's a natural extension of my vagina into the marketplace. The smell of it.

FMF© Mm. That's swell! Will the album, you know, actually smell of your vagina?

Sting Yes it will. We investigated scratch n' sniff, but felt it was too inorganic. The microencapsulation process leaves a large carbon footprint and is unsustainable. So every album will be wiped across my own vagina before shrink-wrapping to ensure as pure as possible a transmission of the smell of my juices to the consumer. We believe it's a marketing first.

FMF© Very possibly. Would you care to talk about the music?

Sting It was an intensely creative and empowering process. I invited a select group of black jazz musicians to my wellness yurt atop Mount Baldie. I chose blacks because of the natural affinity I have with my black brothers. I have always believed I am part black. Perhaps it is my vagina. And I enjoy the respect they have for me, not only as a musician but as their employer.

FMF© And you have a tour lined up to promote the album?

Sting We do. It will be called The Smell Of Sting's Vagina Tour, and starts with a coast to coast tour of the states in the Vagina Bus. My musicians will sit at the back. I'll follow later in my Lear jet. [starts chanting, goes into trance]

Sting was kind enough to leave a complimentary copy of the new album. It must be faulty, because it smells like tuna.