Lance LeCocque's Sunday Smewtheness

"Hi! And by hi, I mean helloo ladies! I am Lance LeCocque, and I am the answer to every woman's  prayer. If you're a dude,  I'm the answer to your woman's prayer. I am on the ladies like sweat on a milk carton. When I enter a room which ladies are present, I bother them. It's my Love Vibrations what I exude. They become restless, agitated, which a sensation like electric is in their panty parts. Sometimes I look at this lady across the room and she's, like, trembling and shaking with Animal Desire what she has never experienced before. If I choose her from the ladies vying for the Look of Lance she will enjoy a near-death experience when my hugeness fills her panty parts, such she cannot contain the Overload of Desire what I am bringing to her. The Love Lance has cured ladies of the Curse of Lesbianity - this one time I went through the US ladies football team in the showers and they were like dragging me back in for more!

And what, I hear you ask, is that tune in the background as I bring the Lucky Lady to climax, again and again? What is the soundtrack to Lance LeCocque's lust?

Smewthe Jazz. Take it from the Love Lance. There is nothing like Smewthe Jazz for setting the stage for love's fulfillment."

But don't take Lance LeCocque's word for it - why not try for yourself? Today's aural lube job is Stanley Turrentine's Sugar. Check that cover! Stanley knew what he was put on earth to do - set the stage for love's fulfillment. So spray on the Axe Titanium©, ease into your Angel's Flight© slacks and a tight sateen shirt, and throw a pair of panties over the bedside lamp. If the broad don't come across for all this and the fifty bucks, then why, she ain't got no pulse!