Cage Fight Saturday: Last Exit Vs. The Carpenters
In what will be a regular feature, at least until I torch the whole place down in a fit of pique - which is likely, because producing entertainment of this quality is simply exhausting, darling - we throw two wildly different acts into Th' Cage O'Foam© and let 'em slug it out for our depraved amusument! Well pat my head and rattle my bridgework! What a swell party this is!
To open proceedings in fine style, Last Exit and the Carpenters go head-to-head, mano-a-mano in a bare-knuckle blood-fest that's not for the faint of heart! Are you ready? Wave the Finger O'Foam© for your favorite! The roar of the vuvuzela is deafening as our two teams step into the ring! Or, you know, hardly.
Iron Path is Last Exit's only studio album, helmed by beetle-browed jazz-orc Bill Laswell. Laswell's projects are always passionate and uncompromising, but this may be his finest accomplishment. Luring Sonny Sharrock, Ronald Jackson and Peter Brotzmann into the studio with bloody steaks torn from a gazelle, they laid down the sound of the universe simultaneously imploding and exploding, pausing only to refresh themselves with jimson weed. Their work done, they climbed into their onesies, had a nice milky drink, and fell into a dreamless slumber.
Offering is the first Carpenters album. That it slips into your consciousness like honey off a warm crumpet goes without saying. So why did I just say it? What may surprise you, if you are as unfamiliar with this waxing as I was until a couple of days ago, is its surprising adventurousness. It is a fantastic 'sixties pop album, with a beguilingly dumb cover. We don't notice how short you are, Richard, on account of you standing on a step like that! But is that sunflower stalk really necessary? Anyhoo, don't underestimate these guys' chances against the slavering beasts from Mordor ... there's a surprising strength in gentleness ...
Who's your hard-earned dollar on?
(A spin o' th' propeller beanie to Butterboy, over at Ryp's place!)
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... or here.
Karen Carpenter looks like a nun in that photo. Which, brought back tremors from my elementary schools days, and the countless times I had to roll up my pants legs and kneel on raw rice, for having committed such untoward sins as not having my fingers fully extended while clasping my palms together during prayers (the devil would have a perch to rest on your hands, otherwise). So, my vote goes to the Carpenters for odd reasons. Now, excuse me while I go apply ointment to my rice scarred knee caps.
ReplyDeleteNo contest - Iron Path is astonishing!
ReplyDeleteNext: Fushitsusha vs allcomers....
This is turning out to be a nailbiting competition! I'm calling it a draw - neither act is performing below par, and every punch thrown by Last Exit is turning into butterflies before it lands. So we have one vote for each act, and one draw - the deciding vote will be the next one. I don't know if I can stand the excitement.
ReplyDeletefans of both these acts but I think that Last Exit are going to wear themselves out with all their huffing, puffing, pounding and wanking giving the Carpenter siblings time to poison their beverages and kill them softly in their soft rock induced slumber.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's that, then. Carpenters win.
ReplyDeleteNo fair! You didn't include Laswell's Wayne Newton remix album!
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