Pandering To The Bass

Who doesn't, in these times of uncertain times, want to loosen their coronal sutures with weapons-grade low frequency vibrations? Luckily, ordinary household items perform the task at low, low cost to you, Mr Consumer!

What you need: headphones, and these here albums. What could be simpler? Harness the power of the domestic internet and experience sound-induced nose-bleeds and bowel malfunction in the privacy of your lovely home! Today's swell long-playing records have been chosen specifically to test your lower end response, and at your age this is an offer you're not going to hear every day!

Lalo Schifrin's Bullitt soundtrack is the re-recorded version that had the bat-eared hi-fi wine tasters flapping their pale hands in horror. They prefer the original vinyl for its warmth and dynamic range, the silly things. But this sounds better. It sounds sensational. Ooff.

The Gladiators' Once Upon A Time In Jamaica is Old School roots reggae recorded with the clarity of 21st century technology, forty years into their peerless career. If you love reggae, you'll love this. If you don't love reggae, you'll love this.

Rhythm, Sound and Movement, it says here, is "a collection of remixes of tracks from Pitch Black’s Rude Mechanicals album, which, reflecting the duo’s wide ranging tastes and styles, encompasses nearly every genre of electronica and dance music there is." But don't let that put you off.

These fine, fine albums provide a reference standard for in-store hi-fi equipment testing. Watch customers and staff alike run screaming as you crank them up to eleven! Boy howdy! Are we having fun yet?