Saturday, June 20, 2020

Saturday Slugfest Dept. - The Schnozzola vs. The Sex Pistols

Jimmy Durante faces off with the Sex Pistols in today's musical cagefight. The cover to September Song [at left - Ed.] could be a Norman Rockwell [American painter - Ed.] painting come to life. His songs are unabashedly sentimental, the arrangements refugees from the wrong side of the Schmaltz Curtain.
England's newest hitmakers The Sex Pistols are vanguards of the new generation. "We don't give a fuck!" snarls Johnny Rotten, their outspoken lead singer. "YER! Fuck off, Grandad!" adds controversial bass guitar player Sid Vicious [who wasn't even in the group at this time, ya doofus - Ed.].

Spunk is the demo for their first album. It's pretty good. But who will win the cagefight? Will the fine vintage wine of maturity and great-heartedness be more than a match for teenage piss and vinegar? Will sentiment pack a bigger punch than spunk? Place your bets in the comments!
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23 comments:

  1. pmacJune 20, 2020 at 6:10 PM

    Hmmm..... well, as much as I want to go all punk on ya's, I think its Durante by a nose.

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  2. jonderJune 20, 2020 at 6:13 PM

    My vote goes to the four young lads, any one of whom could easily bloody the Schnozz without having to cock a pistol (seewhatIdidthere).

    I predict a long career for these boys, especially if they hang on to this Matlock fellow, who seems to write most of their songs. With the right manager and a supportive record label, the Sex Pistols are poised to make it big in America on their first tour, especially if they focus on big markets like NYC and LA.

    A word of advice, boys: avoid political controversy, hard drugs and loose women! Stick to your craft, don't bite the hand that feeds you, and the rest will take care of itself. You might want to consider a name change, if you're at all concerned about your public image.

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    1. Farquhar Throckmorton IIIJune 20, 2020 at 6:17 PM

      If there's ever an Oscar ceremony for music blog comments - and why the fuck not - this would get my "nod", as they say on Variety. 6,972.4 FoamPoints®.

      Delete
    2. MrDaveJune 21, 2020 at 2:28 AM

      Excellent advice! What could go wrong?

      Delete
    3. Farquhar Throckmorton IIIJune 21, 2020 at 8:09 AM

      I've run the algorithm again, and the correct number of FoamPoints® is 6.9724. Hope you didn't spend them already, Jonder!

      Delete
    4. jonderJune 22, 2020 at 9:09 AM

      Good thing I only spent the decimal point! I will keep the nod on my trophy shelf.

      Delete
  3. Clarence PuneJune 20, 2020 at 10:09 PM

    I'm waiting to hear from Mrs. Calabash.

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  4. Jack Kerouac's CatJune 20, 2020 at 11:05 PM

    I'm pretty sure four pale skinny snot nosed pimply little Brits could just about take Jimmy.

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  5. HermannJune 20, 2020 at 11:28 PM

    ... never mind Durante ...

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  6. FiveGunsWestJune 21, 2020 at 2:00 AM

    One musn't forget Jimmy's boxing days in Joe Palooka https://www.ebay.com/itm/Joe-Palooka-DVD-2005-Jimmy-Durante-Classic-1934-Boxing-Movie-/143360913102

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  7. rickJune 21, 2020 at 2:12 AM

    somewhere around the ol' crap shack here I have tickets to see the sex pistols on their first tour of 'murica,at the Cleveland Agora however they got held up at immigration so they got put back a week so they decided to play SNL so Cleveland's date got put back to the end of the tour and by then they had imploded

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    1. FiveGunsWestJune 21, 2020 at 5:48 AM

      Then they didn't play SNL but Pelvis Bordello did. Saw at the Fox in Atlanta.

      Delete
    2. rickJune 21, 2020 at 10:39 AM

      yeah what I meant they were supposed to play SNL and then Cleveland but got denied visas ,when they got visa they tried to save the SNL gig and put Cleveland back to the end of the tour which they didn't make it to

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    3. FiveGunsWestJune 22, 2020 at 2:36 AM

      Playing Cleveland probably would have saved their career if you think about it. That and had they made it to SNL the country would have gotten a taste and who knows. Those Cleveland tickets are probably worth a lot of Foam points these days.

      Delete
  8. Eric S.June 21, 2020 at 6:17 AM

    I was a bouncer at the Kingfish when they played BRLA...coolest scene of all was backstage watching Paul "Li'l Buck" Senegal the guitar player for Good Rockin' Dopsie & The Twisters--they'd requested a cajun band, who opened for them, show a worshipful Steve Jones things on the guitar.Also, true fact (best kind): took all of'em but Sid 45 minutes to prep for their onstage look; Sid was ready to go. It was a night.

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  9. BillJune 21, 2020 at 6:27 AM

    Nevermind the Bullocks--SPUNK is the real sh*t! Or something like that.

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  10. Farquhar Throckmorton IIIJune 21, 2020 at 8:13 AM

    It looks like a knockout for the spiky-haired songsmiths! The Schnozzola's last woids as he wus stretchered out wus "a big dubya! look for th' big dubya!"

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    1. OGJune 21, 2020 at 10:16 PM

      "You ever get the feeling you've been cheated?"

      Delete
  11. Farquhar Throckmorton IIIJune 21, 2020 at 10:43 AM

    Cryptically embedded in this comment is the hypertextual linkage to what fight fans are calling th' slugfest of th' century!




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  12. pontyboyJune 21, 2020 at 3:53 PM

    No mas! No mas!

    ReplyDelete
  13. HermannJune 21, 2020 at 11:48 PM

    D makes me sick

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