 |
| That horizon - I can't keep my eyes off of it. |
While this is largely - in fact, totally - true, she does come up with swell initiatives from time to time to justify her outrageous salary (paid in the local currency of FoamPoints™) and swank duplex office space up on Smoking Volcano Mountain at the heart of th' Isle O' Foam©.
During yesterday's one-on-one Staff Motivation session at the island's fabled Bubbling Mud Spring, she came up with the idea of occasional posts where you guys - that's you, and quit looking over your shoulder - could tell everybody what you've been enjoying. Artistically speaking. You know - music, movies, TV, internet, even books if any of you are the shy, bookish type what can't get a date. Failing that, breakfast cereal or herpes ointment. Or perhaps you've discovered the blessed relief that Skechers© shoes bring to the living hell of knee pain (I know I have!).
This is Kreemés baby, so every Kreemé's Kaffeeklatsch© will be flagged by her comely pulchritudinosity [see above - Ed.]. If the concept doesn't fly, and youse bums can't be assed to add a comment or two, she'll get thrown into Smoking Volcano Mountain, so her fate here is very much in your gnarly, liver-spotted old hands.
I think she's lava lunch, myself. I have zero faith in you cheap, chiseling, lazy-assed grifters.
(For those of you who only read the colored text at the end of the post - share with us what fun shit you're doing in a comment, or Kreemé dies)
At the current time, I am enjoying the thought of saving that poor, young, comely lass from certain doom by typing these words.
ReplyDeleteOh, and the last 3 nights have been returning to Love - Forever Changes for some reminders of the type of music that can make changes seem necessary, possible and implausible all at the same time.
Your comment is EXACTLY for what Kreemé is outreaching for, in these troubled times in which we're livin' in. 6.050003 FoamPoints™ deposited in your account.
DeleteSample whiz-dumb time!:
Delete"Live and Let Live" (NO Wings, NO Macca! Gack!!!)
Lyrics . . . (Will be ready in full for tonight's FoamIsle fireside chatter-free sing-along session...):
By Love (Arthur Lee)
"Oh, the snot has caked against my pants
It has turned into crystal
There's a bluebird sitting on a branch
I guess I'll take my pistol.."
Eating a $3 frozen pizza, watching "Tammy & The T-Rex", appreciating your grab for cheap likes.
ReplyDeleteOops...sorry. "Kreemé's" grab.
Last month I beat Cancer, and recently returned to work as a Creative Director for a large Advertising Co.
ReplyDeleteBooks:
Rereading 'Women' by Charles Bukowski.
Next up is 'A BIT OF A STRETCH: The Diaries of a Prisoner' by Chris Atkins.
Music:
Been on a Charley Parker kick lately.
Plus music I've discovered here.
TV:
Binge watched Ricky Gervais' 'Extras' on Netflix
Yeah, yeah, cancer. But have you experienced the heartbreak of Knee Pain?
DeleteWearing Skechers© in Manhattan will result in being mugged by teenage girls.
DeleteRi-ight- like you wouldn't want *that* to happen.
DeleteBut they make Dull Slip-On Shoes for Old People too, the kind I like!
I knew you had redeeming qualities, I, too, am a CD. Or was. Retired now.
DeleteYou were a CD? I was a double LP.
DeleteIn response to the request from hundreds of readers (Billy-Bob and Bob-Billy Hundreds of Crotchspittle County, AL) I submit my own lifesaving plea.
ReplyDeleteI discovered "vintage radio" about a year back, and have binged my way through shows from the 'thirties thru the 'fifties. Once you get used to the conventions of the time - ignoring the damn footsteps is a necessary skill - there's a motherlode of quality entertainment out there. I'm currently enjoying 21st Precinct. In terms of plotting, character, and production values it's got every other cop show I can think of beat. Underplayed, downbeat without being depressing, and a stunning lead performance from Everett Sloane. So yeah. That's me sorted.
If you haven't already discovered the charms of the Lum and Abner show that ran from the 1930s through the '50s, I can heartily recommend it. I'd guess the juxtaposition of watching Kreemé frolic at surf's edge while chortling at the peccadilloes of a couple of Arkansas rubes would be about pretty delicious.
DeleteGroovy. It's on Dumb.com, so I'm adding it to the playlist. I've binged Jack Benny and Duffy's Tavern, so Lum & Abner sound ideal.
DeleteNone of this is probably new to keen Foam Islanders, but for newcomers here are some swell ways to have fun in a public toilet:
ReplyDeleteFirst, before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and start singing some Judy Garland songs.
Or, make an entrance armed with a hidden balloon filled with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo that Farquhar fed you for breakfast.
Or, fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbor’s while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
Kreemé
Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
Stage whisper dreamily saying Kreemé, Kreemé. Then in a petulant tone murmur, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!"
Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
Finally, grunt and strain really loudly for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 ft. Sigh relaxingly.
Repeat in another public toilet down the street
.
Bob In Vancouver is an in-demand after-dinner speaker at correctional facilities throughout his native Canada. He hosts the Royal Canadian Mounted Police annual awards (the "Monties"), and is a part-time lumberjack. He is fourteen years old.
DeleteHave you tried that on a dame?
DeleteThat's how I bagged the 2nd Ms. Pmac.
DeleteThat's why they call 'em "Fuck Me" Pumps.
DeleteI wear "Fuck You" Pumps exclusively.
Deletelistening to Traffic
ReplyDeletereading Frank Edwards Strangest of All
watching Mystery Science Theater 3000
What Traffic, Rick? I'm listening to John Barleycorn more than the rest right now.
Deletejust worked my way through in order listened to ''far from home''last evening think I'll work my way through Camel next
DeleteHmm.....
ReplyDeleteMusic: Been listening to Charlie Halloran and The Tropicales (2 albums: Shake The Rum and Ce Beguine; think Lord Kitchener for a reference.
Books: Just started Alan Zwiebel's latest, Laugh Lines
TV: beside news, just started watching Barry, a HBO series, that is very good.
Congrats on the cancer victory, JKC. I'm now on the 33rd anniversary of my expiration date; at 28 I was told I had 4-6 mos to live. Was too ornery to listen.
Staged, 6 15 minute episode serial on BBC iPlayer starring Michael Sheen and David Tennant as themselves, actors trying to rehearse a play (Pirandello's 6 Characters) in lockdown via Zoom or whatever. Their real life partners also play themselves and their are cameos from Samuel L Jackson and Judi Dench amongst others. Although scripted it is clear that quite a bit of the banter between the two leads is spontaneous. At least 3 laughs out loud per episode. Very, very funny. Reading, I'm half way through Lawrence Durrell's Alexandria Quartet and about to start Ulysses with the help of Stuart Gilbert's Guide. 50 years ago I don't think I did it justice. Musically I've listened several times to the setting of the Beatitudes by Vladimir Martynov, an instrumental version of which by the Kronos Quartet is featured at the end of La Grande Bellezza directed by Paolo Sorrentino, perhaps the most beautiful piece of music I have ever heard in my almost 70 years, soothing, calming, I would not mind hearing it as I pass out of this life (but not just yet awhile........)
ReplyDeleteWhen the UK went into lockdown, we had sunshine in the south for about 8 weeks. I listened to loads of music while solo repainting my living room (for motivation I found loud rock music worked best - worst a fabulous folk group called The Unthanks, because they made me blub like a baby - try listening to The Foundling track, whilst painting a door frame).
ReplyDeleteI read JG Ballard's Empire of the Sun, a book based on a childs experience in a Japanese POW camp in Shanghai 1942-45, this made me realise that however bad life seems now, I still have a lot to be thankful for. I can meet my old girlfriend and family to go for a walk or sit in the park.
The BBC i-player has had loads of tv and radio entertainment, hurrah for that! I never understand why so many people want to do away with the bbc (Maybe change the way it's funded though).
I have never been on Facebook, and if ever that platform was useful it is surely now. I know I'm missing out, but I have some principles (not many). Therefore Farq I thank you for this blog, the 4 or 5 guys, oh and Kreeme, who's presence on the Island must be a boon for you.
But... I'm really missing going to the pub, and also would love to go to a nasty/noisy gig, well any gig really.
The sweet and innocent Kreeme does not deserve such a fate. If I do one good thing today, it will be to prevent her delicious self from being forcibly inserted into the smoking mouth. Or indeed any mouth. So, apart from dusting down my mp3 collection, and oiling my flacs, what I've been doing recently is gardening. Mainly with my ol' buddy Gandalf. and the results might be found here, for a short period. https://workupload.com/file/cZjb6FkJHgW Kreeme, darling, tell that nice Farquhar chappie it was all YOUR idea. That might keep you safe for a bit. And another bit, later on.
ReplyDeleteHOLY FREAKING COWABUNGA! This is a FANTASTIC thing you've done - thank you very much!
DeleteFor those who don't know about Gandalf's Garden it was the true hippie underground mag in the UK, without the shock polemics of Oz, or the agit-prop journalism of IT. It's a very accurate time capsule of the freaks and heads - we didn't call ourselves hippies. Run by the back-to-the-garden Muz Murray. This is an ESSENTIAL package so snap it up - all six issues plus a bunch of thoughtful extras. I bought all of these at the time but missed the last - so it's a real thrill to read it at last.
Thanks again!
Oh - before I forget - you just won 854.90003 FoamPoints, geriatrix.
DeleteEnjoy, and serious thanks for the music and the fun. Oh, are there ever double-up days for FoamPoints. Just curious.
DeleteBook: He Who Types Between the Rows, by Mark Sieber. A bookload of 10 years of a horror fan's blog about drive-in movie theaters, horror movies, and sci-fi and horror books.
ReplyDeleteBeer: Blatz, because I drank it in college.
Hey, thanks for the tip, I'm skimming through Sieber's web site. Some interesting stuff to read for sure.
DeleteI don't read nearly as much as I should, mostly film/music stuff on the internets. Last book was years ago, even if it's pretty good, Star Of The Sea by Joseph O'Connor. Found that one -true to my name - in a dollar store in Malta. Googling it to find the name of the author I now see that this is actually a number one bestseller.
ReplyDeleteTV: As previously mentioned, What We Do In The Shadows is a favorite, absolutely hilarious. If not, with the wife we just watched the third season of Killing Eve, which started to annoy me, as they started fridging any normal characters left on the show and everyone's a sociopath which starts to be annoying. Not to mention that the whole season felt like spinning your wheels without going anywhere in particular. Not sure we'll be back for a season four.
Movies: Well, one would have thought that the lockdown permitted to dip more into the hundreds of DVDs in my collection still awaiting a first or second viewing, but one would be wrong. Gently coerced the wife to do a Jaws-Jaws 2 double feature the last two days.
Balancing my life force so as not to insult a world full of Kreemes.
ReplyDeleteEngaged in physical labor - rock walls. Moving in to place 500-600 lb boulders with my trusty tractor.
Continuing to catch up on reading - "Grant", "But What if We're Wrong?", "City of a Million Dreams (NOLA - pmac should know it) and just finished " "The Birth of Loud".
Film, the only kind - Film Noir, Kid
Music inside and outside the house constantly. Carrying across the valley and through the woods. Neighbors not appreciative - but then again - nothing new.
Music: Listening to NOLA catalogs, Chet Baker, Miles. And finding new stuff, Larkin Poe, Laura Green, Joy Williams, Jontavious Willis and others.
All above with the help of a good local IPA and the occasional Gummie.
Life in my 70's...
Yep, read it. Thought it was a little uneven. Some of the character write-ups were very good, others were a little flat. Kinda paralleled the 300 yr celebration in the city; wound up being nothing more than a tourist campaign with a few crumbs for the actual citizenry.
DeleteHave you read "The Accidental City" or "The World that Made New Orleans" or "Nine Lives"?
DeleteI may be ODing on history. Got to get back the to the tuneage.
Nine Lives is fantastic. The other two are not bad either. My friend, Paul Sanchez, wrote a musical score for Nine Lives that he had hoped to get to Broadway, but he had some healhth issues and it get sidetracked. The music is available on most streaming services. I've spent a few nights at Kajun's Pub, too. I would highly recommend a book by John Swenson, New Atlantis, for a great read on Katrina and the music culture of NO.
DeleteI will pick it up.
DeleteSee ya when we finally get down there.
If nothing else, you can get it online at The Louisiana Music Factory.
DeleteCan't beat Jack Webb on Dragnet.....The facts ma'am, just the facts..But then again there was Rockford...
ReplyDeleteLose the chick. I like Raquel in the fur bikini fightin' dinosaurs
Oh, I forgot. I recently finally read Neil Gaiman's Sandman in its entirety (the shout out at the end of my Neal Casal piece was to that Neil - with ei-rather than me fucking up the name of the subject).
ReplyDeleteWhat a gread read. It truly is one of the masterpieces of the comic books genre, and, more broadly, of literature itself. I had read some story cycles as a teenager or young adult, more than twenty years ago. But I missed so much stuff. Reading it out of order of course didn't help. And I think you need a certain amount of maturity to really appreciate The Sandman. Not everything is perfect, but the amount of creativity in those 75 issues is stunning.
Let 'er loose on the lava for all I care, not my type.
ReplyDeleteFor now, I'm a lava'n this stuff:
Ruthann Friedman
Any and every Curt Boettcher production I can find
Lots of Sonny Bono, solo, and with the ex
Listener (Dan Smith)
Twenty One Pilots
Dylan
Bacharach in any variety
Gordon Alexander 'Gordon's Buster.' Yeah, I mean it. I've fallen deeply in love with this oddity.
Faron Young
Marc Bolan stuff
Chet Atkins
Beatles
Richard Thompson
Slade
Michael Nesmith
The Roches
Leon Russell
Fela Kuti
Marty Stuart
Black Sabbath
Roxy Music
Clive Palmer
Donovan
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Syd Barrett / and Syd Era Floyd
Alice Cooper
Recordings associated with studio guitar wiz Michael Deasy, and especially his Friar Tuck LP
Paul Simon
George Harrison (Wonderwall, in mono, in stereo, outtakes, any note I can get my ears on)
King Crimson
Velvet Underground
The original Mothers of Invention, circa 1965-1969
And then there's this guy on-line who has been posting the entire Los Angeles area KHJ top 30 from 1965 through so far 1970. Every freaking tune ripped from mono 45s wherever possible, plus airchecks from the local Boss Angeles Boss Jocks. This set represents a part of my childhood, and I love hearing the stuff in context again. The good, and the bad.
No joke, as I age, the health is suffering, so reading is limited due to advancing cataract issues. I don't really do TV, though last night I found myself digging on a DVR run of Wild Angeles. That was a kick. My back yard in in 1967!
My thing is all music these days. I've been playing for over 50 years now, pro, amateur, busker, the works, so when I'm not listening, eating or sleeping, I also listen to myself playing a lot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8OROa2WfjY
Delete=tiny tim sings a g. alexander tune STRAWBERRY TEA
Tina Delgado is alive!!!
DeleteIf linkage is allowable, may I overstate the obvious (for the oblivious...?:
http://and-your-bird-can-swing.blogspot.com/
Reading mostly men's adventure novels, like; the Hardman series by Ralph Dennis, The Destroyer novels by Richard Sapir & Warren Murphy. Throw in some old Perry Masons and Nick Carters and some Spider pulp reprints and you've got a pretty good idea of my last couple of months reading pleasures. Oh yeah, the more modern Rogue Angel series by Alex Archer, as well.
ReplyDeleteMusic: I'm on a Sixto Rodriguez kick (the Searching for Sugarman guy).Tom Waits, Willie Nile, Honeybus, lots and lots of sixties garage bands (like the Unrelated Segments, the Electras, the Tidal Waves and the Cherry Slush, just to name a few).
Collecting: I've added a number of sixties and seventies fanzines to my collection. Mostly comic book related fanzines, but a few music related fanzines, as well.
Doing: Walking with the wife, kayaking with the wife, spending time with the wife, etc, etc, etc, as well as, binge watching quite a few NetFlix series, like; Longmire, the Umbrella Academy, Locke & Key, the End of the F***ing World, Ragnarok and currently Another Life.
Ok - I see - well, Orphaned Land got my attention a few years ago.....you hardly ever heard about a heavy metal band from Israel with both muslims and christians doing the trick...
ReplyDeleteGood gravy. 44 comments!? That girl... I mean, why did I misread that part as...
ReplyDelete"...one-on-one STIFF Motivation session..."?
You tell me, lowest common denominator (or Dominate-her?) breath.
O.K., I've piled on (4-or-5 - dozen? - came way before me, I suppose) (and I do hope they all were wearing their protective gear, stiffies or not...) without so much as reading this one all the way through. Par for the corset.
I can't say it's Obsession, Cal (no -vin), but, it could be bordering on something, well... "skeevy"...? Isn't that what the Head Foamhead islander calls it...?
ReplyDeleteI've just come to the conclusion that the Cover Girl in question(able attire befitting a SFW Interwebs site?) oft seen here goes by some other name but I won't spill the beans just yet. I wouldn't want to compromise any FoamIsle denizen's personal security. Potentially making for hoards of the 4-or-5 types running to offer to spread sunscreen.
O.K., had you on tenterhooks long enough click-baiters & crooked-horizon watchers...
It's Click 'n see (if you Have No Life - like moi) time!:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/97/b2/f8/97b2f88dc4104979dca2e83351ee3e84.jpg
https://thumb-p4.xhcdn.com/a/a8WUyq9K2ndwvEsyphQFIw/000/347/618/834_1000.jpg
https://66.media.tumblr.com/2eacf62f884ea9131e0ccbfc88f3d0b0/tumblr_ouic414CpS1vcy4bgo5_1280.jpg
(Proof she DOES have teeth!)
(Unlike this & any other U-B or B.B. posting...)