Sunday, October 13, 2019

Staff News

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the departure of Cody from th' House O' Foam©. Again. Her feckless and lackadaisical attitude to work, and her callous indifference to the needs of you, th' Four Or Five Guys©, resulted in an entire album being wrongly uploaded [Peggy Lipton - Ed.] causing Monahoohah much inconvenience, wasted time, and personal embarrassment down at Manny's Tire & Lube.

I generously gave Cody time to clear her desk (Happy Meal toys, mostly) and had security escort her off the premises.

Thank you for your understanding.

9 comments:

  1. Mr. Throckmorton, Everyone makes mistakes and anyone with such obvious and multi-faceted assets and talents should not be treated so harshly and unfairly over trivial mistakes. I, for one, had been looking for the Peggy Lipton album and appreciate her alleged error, so thank you, Cody. One must also take into consideration that Cody's working conditions may not be the finest. Where I am at the weather is currently turning a bit nippy. Perhaps you should allow the dear lady to come out of the pool. And kindly investigate that weird looking pervert leering at her from the water. His presence within your organization may just prove to be Cody's main distraction from performing her assigned tasks to your liking.

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    1. Well, that's certainly charitable and understanding of you. But I wonder if you'd feel the same if you'd had to clear up the Peggy Lipton débacle yourself, working long into the night with Kelly in the Bitrate Conversion Facility to upload the correct album? I think your attitude might have undergone a certain cooling. And frankly I'm getting tired of her coming into my private office dripping wet from the pool with her come-hither glances and exaggerated "brrrrs". And bending over in front of me to pick up non-existent lint from the carpet. Th' House O' Foam is as a Temple to the Higher Arts - to Man's Eternal Struggle For The Sublime, not a cheap titty bar.

      But once again, if it is the will of th' Workin' Stiff that I take her back, I will comply. I wait to hear from him.

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    2. You do make some valid points here my dear Farquhar and I certainly do not mean to tell you how to conduct worship services within your temple. I think that perhaps th' four or five guys could pitch in and jointly purchase the lass a beach towel from a local thrift. At all costs she must be spared the indignity of a short career within the Trump administration.

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  2. Perhaps Cody could find a spot in the Trump administration? I hear they have some openings ...

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  3. It may be my fault, after giving her that bundle of cash that I won from you, she may have been less attentive to her responsibilities. Please reconsider and allow her to continue to work at FMF. Also think how you would feel if she did go to work for Trump. Having to be near that loathsome man is a fate no one should have to endure.

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  4. I am not deaf to the will of the people, who have risen as one in her defense. Sobbing with gratitude, she delicately pares my bunions as I dictate this comment to Mildred Gerfinkle, my private secretary.

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  5. wait, did someone say: "cheap titty bar"???

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  6. Oh, poor Cody. It's okay though I'm sure she'll land on her back somewhere.

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  7. I was happy to accommodate Cody during her brief ouster in my humble cardboard shack under the freeway overpass that I have been calling home while seeking fame and fortune. She was quite the clarinet player herself I must say! Ah well, I'm glad she is back in the lush and exquisite comforts of the House of Foam helping you to bring song and mirth to us masses.

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