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| Fletch, pitchered yestiddy |
Many of th' Four Or Five Guys© is enquirin' as to "who cleans up on th' Isle O' Foam©?" Well, thanx fer axin, compadores! Our first-call guy is Fletcher Floormop, 20 year-old graduate in Aisle Spillage Studies at prestigious Cyrus X. Veeblefetzer School University, Gowanus, NY.
Fletcher clinched dream internship after displaying knowledge of jazz rock! What's that album which he's gots? Why, it's Don Sebesky's Big Box! "A swell introduction to th' genre!" gushes Fletcher, taking break from bathroom duties!
This is a grand compendium of CTI talent (I know - a lot of youse bums sneer at sudge artistry). So let's talk about hair! Got any? Mine has gone from waist-length tresses to saintly nimbus, best appreciated against dark background.
ReplyDeleteMy hair, once jet black, is now "salt and pepper" in a "Mia Wallace" type of blunt bob.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Babs. Pepper n' salt is a prize.
DeleteBut not red pepper.
DeleteEven if my knees ain't great (Gonna get the other one replaced) my tresses have remained a growin' concern. At the obscene age of 81, I don't even have a bald spot. My once black hair turned grey and, for unknown reasons, from very curly to straight.
ReplyDeleteFor a small fee I allow children and drunks to pet it.
Could you send me a lock, so that I too may savor its luxuriance? Actually, if you could weave me a small yarmulke from the barber sweepings I could affix it to my bald spot with an efficacious mucilage.
DeleteRon Popeil to the rescue!
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GeF7A05zQ8&ab_channel=Coolestmovies
The trick is to grow your eyebrows really long and then up and over in a swell pompadour.
DeleteYou don't see the self-delusional "comb over" much these days, where long strands of stringy hair are combed from the back and sides of the head, and swirled around a bald head to form a hairstyle. I've often wondered: Do they really think, we think, they have hair?
DeleteCheap wigs are also a "scream"
The other day, I saw a commercial in which Tom Selleck (who may be having cash flow problems?) is “shilling” reverse mortgages. Tom looked like he had black shoe polish in his hair and mustache.
Self-delusional is right.
DeleteOh, and poor Tom. Robert Wagner did those commercials, too. (Farq will be next.)
"Hello, I'm Farquhar Throckmorton the third, and if you are sixty-two and older, I'd like to talk to you about reverse mortgages"
DeleteI remember Robert Wagner doing those reverse mortgages infomercials, that could also be used as a flotation device.
Natalie Wood could have used one of those flotation devices.
DeleteAre reverse mortgages like equity loans?
DeleteI had a teenage crush on Natalie Wood after seeing her in The Great Race. I still think she was very beautiful.
DeleteNatalie Wood is stunning. I recently re-watched The Great Race and it holds up well, and her performance is outstanding.
DeleteOne of my favourite films of that type. Knocks Those Magnificent Men etc into a cocked hat.
DeleteWood, Curtis and Lemmon all on top form!
I used to have very long hair back in "the day" and kept it reasonably long until about 20 years ago, when baldness and I decided to go for a #1. Since then I've vacillated between that and a bit more length. Currently just a shortish cut.
ReplyDeleteI sport a "circle"-type beard to divert attention from my gossamer tonsure. It lends me gravitas, a certain bohemian vibe, and gives me something to stare at in the mirror.
DeleteI have a full beard which I keep fairly short, although I allow my moustache to be a little more reckless.
DeleteI gotta say, out of all of your visual creations, Fletcher Floormop is the best, he looks like a real character.
ReplyDeleteHair? Too much on my back, my wife says. Oh, and none on my head for about twenty years after I shaved everything, having gotten tired of my rapidly receding hairline having everyone think I was ten to fifteen years older that I was...
I suffer from pareidolia.
Deletethat is a condition suffered by those with a gifted eye. i wish that i had it.
Deleteyou see what we miss.
In the 70s, I saw Art Garfunkel on a piece of toast. His hair looked great.
DeleteIt's a fairly common thing, I think. The first time I noticed it I must have been three or four year old (dated by the house we were living in) - I saw an owl in the wallpaper pattern, or at least I converted what I saw into an owl. There's a lot of it on the web - makes for an entertaining image search!
DeleteWhen I was a kid, my father had a small fishing boat, that had an outboard motor. I always heard music in the sound the motor produced.
DeleteI have a friend with synaesthesia - he sees colours when he hears music.
DeleteBoth my wife and I see patterns and shapes that aren't really there. We've made a sort of pact not to tell each other what we see.
Not a good description - my friend hears colours.
DeleteMy washing machine when on the slow wash cycle, says "help me, help me, help me", in a eerie whispered voice. The local vicar refuses to come round to perform an exorcism.
DeleteWhen I was a jazz-rock loving teen, I aspired to looking like Al di Meola on the cover of "The land of the Midnight Sun", and had a sewage-covered stick ready to repel aggressive females who wanted to violate me intimately. I never needed the stick. But even that was not as hard as finding the freaking link temptingly proffered above.
ReplyDeleteThere is no link. I'll get my people onto it and have them call your people.
DeleteMy hair has gone from Medieval-royalty nipple-length curls and ringlets, to the current greying finger-tip length crop and tonsure look, en-route having a post-punk combo of plaits, beads and shaved bits. Finger-tip length crop has looked best.
ReplyDeleteHad a wedge in my early 80s teens, various defacto pseudo-mullets thereafter until late 20s when baldness started showing and the remaining hair was kept short. Modest facial hair offsets the potato-with-a-face-drawn-on effect.
ReplyDeleteBTW what the hell is a reverse mortgage, and who the hell is Joe bloody Jackson to sneer at tourists?
A particular type of tourist - not all of them.
DeleteGiant Box Link:
ReplyDeletehttps://workupload.com/file/aMnuLLYnZKR
Info:
https://www.discogs.com/release/1452535-Don-Sebesky-Giant-Box
I don't think I've ever seen a new & sealed copy of Sebesky's Giant Box. About ten years ago one of the young copywriters I worked with complimented me on my slightly longish drooping mustache. I told her I was going for the Sundance Kid look and she responded with a vacant stare. "You know, Robert Redford, Butch Cassidy, Paul Newman" I prompted. Still no recognition. Feeling ancient I decided to let it grow out into an old white guy beard (a van dyke?) which I've mostly sported ever since.
ReplyDeleteI still have most of my hair though it is thinning on top a bit. I'd be happy to sell some to the less fortunate next time I get my ears lowered. Thanks for the Giant Box.
ReplyDeleteOh hair, right.
ReplyDeleteI need a haircut, currently very long with centre parting to keep out of my eyes. Very slight thinning on top. Clean shaven most days, facial hair doesn't suit me.