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| Putain de merde! Notre artiste a fait une grosse erreur ! Peux-tu le voir, cher lecteur? |
Ze Freinch! Zey are so 'ow you say - Freinch! And it's a quality we admire on th' IoF©, having antecedently FoamFeatured™ much of the cheese-loving surrender monkeys' musique [Fr. music - Ed.] It has a certain, shall we say, sacré bleu? A certain femme fatale, if you will, that sets it apart from music of less philosophically-inclined, more dumbass nations, such as like yours, ya dumbass.
On today's menu du jour of the day is Vianney, whose swell long-playing L.P. discs [Fr. discs - Ed.] should be in collection of any guy what wants inside pants of dame swayed by sensitivity, romance! Pretend to translate lyrics as you lead dizzy broad ineluctably to heady rapture of nuptial couch! She won't know no different. Bonjour very much!
To win this Gallic smōrgåsbõrd [smōrgåsbõrd - Ed.] of musique, simply spot the error made by our Foam-O-Graph© artist! Oboy! Swell amusement for un Joyeux Nôēl!
ReplyDeleteHow can you govern a country that has 300 cheeses? asked de Gaulle.
DeleteWell on your board you have 5 of the 500 (not counting Lymeswold) English ones.
I'm the last person to wave the Union Flag, having long sailed away, but their cheeses are second to none and better than most. "Cheddar" is a generic term, and there's more variety in that family than there is in all French soft cheeses combined.
DeleteThe Russian flag?
ReplyDeleteMais non.
DeleteIt's the Thai flag!!! ..an' my 1st time to (hopefully) win something since X'mas 1981!!!!
ReplyDeleteOuais, mais c'est fait expres. Donc, hélas, non.
DeleteIt appears that the tower is buuilt on The Battersea Power Station.
ReplyDeleteAlso French Onion sellers only wear their familiar garb in England because the English believe that is how French people dress.
During WW II the Germans developed metamphetamine to boost the performance of their troops. The French drug of choice was wine which unfortunately a soporific. And we all know how that turned out. The Rev Dr Baz Mania.
Alas. Monsieur Mania, you are 'ow you say mistaken; both in your National Monument and onion sellers' garb - merde alors!
DeleteThe Breton onion sellers were known as "Onion Johnnies".
DeleteHere's a link to a book on how the Nazis developed drugs in their war effort. More interesting than it sounds. Seems as if everyone in Germany was on speed back then. Mobi format but easily convertible to epub.
https://workupload.com/file/z35B6tUqq8s
Thanks for the read, Steve. I remember French onion sellers coming to the house when I were a wee lad. Onions strung over the handlebars. Beret. Don't remember the shirt, though. Also from the same time: horse-drawn coal trucks, steam engines. Really.
DeleteI remember knife grinders calling - and rag and bone men on carts. My mother would send me out with a bucket and shovel to collect the horse manure left behind.
DeleteA fragrant nosegay of memory from the scented bower of nostalgia!
DeleteYou'd be surprised what a bucket of horse shit could get you in those bleak austerity post-war days.
DeleteRespect of the community, for one thing. Geezer with 'is own bucket o' shit was a gent to be reckoned with.
DeleteI believe that the tower btlongs in Blackpool not Gay Paree.
ReplyDeleteThe Rev. Grande Fromage.
Yes it does! But that was part of "le briefing", incorporated for humorous effect. That's not the error.
DeleteThat's a left hand drive bike and it should be right hand.
ReplyDeleteA very good answer! Wrong, also.
ReplyDeleteI should point out that these three albums are pretty damn fucking merveilleux. My best new/old discovery this year. His latest, N'attendons Pas, gets a whopping 2000 (!) five-star reviews on A*a*on, and one (1) rating - not a review - from U.S. customers. Major, major talent but "speaks Frangsay? No way!"
bardot is fully clothed.
ReplyDeleteWhile this is always a mistake, it's not the one that concerns us here. She was, I think, the first woman to be called a "sex kitten". I'm more of a sex sloth, myself.
DeleteThis seems like the most correct answer.
DeleteEnglish cheese????
ReplyDeleteSongkhla Steve WINS I didn't think anybody would get this, but yes - it's a platter of Olde Englishee Cheesee, including a nice lump of Stilton, the King Of Blue Cheese. Roquefort is a coarse, greasy, salty knave in comparison.
DeleteHow about a big Mexican Crowd Wave to honour Steve's extraordinary win?
(Loadup in a few hours - worth the wait - impeccable pop music, at once soaked in chansonnier tradition and utterly contemporary)
Yo!! Thanks Mr. III!!
Deletebugger! pipped.
DeleteHard cheddar, Mr Cheasman!
DeleteParis on the Thames
ReplyDeleteBlackpool by the sea.
DeleteReplete with tattooed boyz from Birken 'ead?
DeleteIt's the lasses you want to worry about up there. Like mastodons in plastic shoes.
DeleteIt's got to be one of those fromages n'est pas Francais. N'est-ce pas.
ReplyDeleteI think Magma are the only French band or artist in my music collection! Seems like they spend too much time seducing one another, smoking and drinking in an overly sexual manner, and not enough time making great music. Come on Frenchies, stop having so much fun, and get in the recording studio more often.
Yebbut you're just an eentsy weentsy bit late, Bambi.
DeleteAlso, anyone else rocking up with the right answer as if they just thought of it will get a fart in their general direction.
DeleteHaving lived in France for almost 12 years now, I've discovered a lot of excellent French music. What I really like about it is that they're not afraid of paying direct respect to the music of their past, so even "modern" artists will incorporate folksong, chanson, musette and swing into their offerings.
DeleteThe main stumbling block, in my view, is the language. I'm now at the stage where I can usually follow the lyrics pretty well and as I'm in a couple of bands here I've had to sing in French, too.
I suppose it's rock that's least well-served here. I haven't heard too much that I've really enjoyed and most of the real musical gems seem to be found "off piste", so don't get wider recognition.
Nail/head. They're pretty hopeless at rock, and missed out on the sixties entirely (they call them the seventies), but when they lean into their own music, they're wonderful.
DeleteHé, M. Requin,
DeleteDans quel coin du hexagone traines-tu?
Oops...a bit late, but I'm in 53 - between Normandy, Brittany and the Loire Valley.
DeleteQuite tempted by the fart offer actually, it's freezing here and it could make a difference.
ReplyDeleteThe Elderly Lesbians may help - why not pay them a Yuletide visit?
DeleteAck, too late...damn these time zones. I shall console myself by listening to "The Cheese Shoppe Sketch."
ReplyDeleteYes was just minutes away from winning todays prize. Yesterday I was just about to go on an errand when I spotted a 'blink and you'll miss it' here on The IoF. I went on errand and an hour later it was gone - what did I miss, something about meditation in heading????
DeleteIt'll be added to the next, some time in the New Year, because what bums saw it will of forgotten it by then anyway.
DeleteI honestly did wonder if that blue cheese was Stilton, but then again that's very easy to claim, isn't it?
ReplyDelete*tamps pipe dottle, stares out window over quad* Y'see, Shark, wondering is all well and good, fine and dandy. Derry and Toms and grits n' gravy. But we're asking a little more of you than idle pie-in-the-skying, and you should be asking it of yourself. Elbow/wheel interface. Nose/grindstone contiguity. That's the way things get done!
DeleteI don't know that I would have been able to say "ENGLISH cheese," but I thought that the cheeses in general were the key to the case...before I read the answers and found that Songkhla Steve had already skoobeedewed the the solution.
Delete"I thought that the cheeses in general were the key to the case ..." We have to take your word for that, Mr Voi, and therein lies the problem. Because your word is a non-fungible token on th' IoF©.
DeleteIf you don't put it in writing, it doesn't count, so my first impression means nothing. I am a fan of cheese, and cheese it on my mind, as we have a holiday tradition: I go to the fancy-pants cheese shop, and buy a ridiculously priced cheese from somewhere like the Azores, and bring it to the family home on Xmas. Mom (98, still has her driver's license...) says "I can't believe you spent so much money on cheese..." So cheese was on my mind. But I got no further than "cheese" and "is that a fake moustache" before I discovered the case had been cracked with wide open already...so...no soup for you, DRaftervoi!
DeleteCheese in Siam is both limited in choice and/or ridiculously overpriced. The Thais don't understand it at all, except for processed slices. I get plastic-wrapped blocks of generic cheddar from the cash n' carry, and age it myself (wrapped in baking paper to allow it to breathe and sweat), resulting in something pretty good.
Deleteare people in thailand as nice as i imagine? maybe they seem sweeter because the english subs for the thai tv shows and movies that i watch paint a gentler picture. are people really obsessed with skin whiteners?
Deleteyour cheese solution is fascinating and maybe extra extra extra firm tofu could be adapted.
Girls in Bangkok are obsessed with skin whiteners, which is stupid and unhealthy. They have such perfect golden skin. But away from "hi-so" life and offices they don't worry so much, or at all.
DeleteGenerally Thais are a great people. I've lived here for over a decade and I have yet to see an argument in the street, or even rudeness, except where foreigners start it (and again, that's Bangkok, which is different). They have a way of avoiding argument and raised voices which can provoke Westerners who don't know what's happening. It's an utterly different culture - they're wired differently - and it takes years of familiarity (and a willingness to respect rather than patronise) to reveal that difference. Life before coming out here seems like a low-res cam copy, blurred and leeched of color. Out here, life is super-saturated.
thanks. it's just nice to know that the whole world is not enraged. (not that i don't understand.)
Deletethe worry over showing one another proper respect is one i wish we had.
I Have almost a Gigabyte of FRENCH Music from the Fities through Today.
ReplyDeleteI do Not speak french and Osmosis doesn't seem to be working. Check out Pomplamoose on youtube for the ffrench songs and lyrics about women with wolf fangs, and dull toothy pegs, and dolls that say mama. When translated french can be beautiful or completely unintelligible.
\It fits my Life style.
John
Frog-lovers rejoice.
DeleteIsabelle Adjani self-titled, Phillips 814 827-1, 1983.
Music By – Serge Gainsbourg
https://mega.nz/file/xGgm0a6B#8RPO6JtGzom0GWptlDuYYMOV3J2cIuywcn8QGBNV8aw
Enorme!
DeleteCome to think about it this site is veryfrench..equal parts brilliance and shit.
ReplyDeleteJust aying.
john
None taken!
DeleteYour Brilliance Rises above the shit...but where is the link?
DeleteJust saying john
Tsk. Sudge impatience.
DeleteVoici - for Songkhla Steve alone, because he won fair and square - is Vianney!
ReplyDeleteAny other youse bums wants, ax Steve.
In the spirit of Yuletideness, I declare the link open to all!!
DeleteThere's generosity for you!
DeleteThanks Steve, your generosity is much appreciated. Some of the 4/5 guys would have kept these all to themselves (averts gaze and shuffles nervously).
DeleteSee! That's what I'm saying...pure class.
ReplyDeletethanks
john
If there's a quality th' 4/5g© have out th' ass, it's class.
DeleteWay back then French radio was a thing. I first heard Green Onions and Don't Think Twice on Salut Les Copains before they were released in England. Pour Ceux Qui Aiment Le Jazz and Jazz Sur Seine for an hour each every weekday. Sig tune for JSS was Don Wilkerson's Camp Meetin'.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived at France, I got my musical consumer cues from the T.V., especially Antoine de Caunes. Wasn't there a French equivalent of MTV? I think so.
DeleteFarq
ReplyDeleteDon't seem to be able to post to the Christmas thread is there a problem or is it me?
Please ignore this it seems to be working now, don't know why I had a problem.
Delete