TS-DR Dept - Bob In Vancouver On Cloud Nine

Bob In Vancouver wrote this all on his ownsome, and I told him it didn't meet the very low bar we set here on the I.O.F. Tsk. I felt like a heel, so here it is, something between the best comment I ever had and the worst TL-DR feature - take it away, Bob In Vancouver!

Poor, unloved Clarence Pune picked up his ukelele and a looked for a scratch pad. He couldn’t find one, so he used the plain back of a Preparation H pack, musing once again what ever happened to preparations A,B,C,D,E,F, and G.
But instead of morbid introspection he returned to dreaming of False Memory Foam Island. That haven of azure waters and big tits. [Mammaries - Ed.]
Mammaries... memories... perhaps for the first time since Winona got the restraining order, he had a near coherent thought: write a song about False Memory Foam Island. Those bozos on the website were clearly tone deaf from that dross Farq force fed them.
Hmmm, what was the recipe for a song?
He began strumming and scribbling:

Take one fresh and tender dame
Add one stolen night of shame
One broad, one lad
Some good, some bad
Mammaries are a foam game

Clarence looked at what he’d done, wondered if he should go for a second verse, and wished the Preparation H pack wasn’t empty.