Activism For The Elderly Dept. - Clarence Pune Takes The Knee

In this timely and provocative screed, Four Or Five Guy© Clarence Pune [78 my ass - Ed.] says Hi! To Healthcare, Canadia-Style! and scores hisself a free joint!

Age. Wear and tear. Clean living. These are the things that gang up on you and steal the gristle where the thigh bone’s connected to the shin bone. Some say that constant kneeling in church can also do in the tricky leg joint, but that’s one activity that I wouldn’t know about. It just started hurting at about age 78“Osteoarthritis,” the doc said. “The best treatment for you is a complete knee replacement.”

I of course Googled it and saw nifty diagrams of titanium hinges implanted underneath the old kneecap. Bionic Man sort of stuff and relatively successful with most primates. So I said “Okay, let’s do this, people.”

Here in British Columbia [as opposed to Canadian Columbia. Or Columbian Columbia - Ed.] we have that dreaded socialistic medical scheme which means it’s all free. The only drawback is a waiting list for non-emergency procedures. Walking without a limp is apparently a vanity procedure, so I waited a year and a bit.

Then I got the call. Show up at the university hospital on Wednesday next week at 8:00 am and arrange for a ride home on Friday morning.

"Only two nights in hospital following major surgery?"

"Yeah, stop wimping about it."

Well, no real drama to relate. They had me stumbling around on a walker very early next morning. Because I live one storey up in an apartment building without an elevator, I got confusing physiotherapy training on stairs using one crutch. (I ignored that when I got home and managed with a $9.95 cane from Katy Kripple's Krutch Kastle©  [text changed to avoid advertising - Ed.].

Now, exactly two months later, I don’t even need the cane, which is good considering that I do those stairs five times a day thanks to a dachshund with a delicate bladder [yeah, yeah, blame the pooch - Ed.].

So, if you’re in a similar situation, go for it .

Just tell your friends and neighbours that you’ll be away in hospital for a couple of days getting your cock shortened.