You'll know Ms. Hoffs from her all-too frequent appearances on Fabulous False Memory Foam Island©, but did you know she's also an accomplished artiste with many recordings, both as part of girlie "punk" group The Bananaramas and solo, with other people? Me neither, until she parachuted in yestiddy with a bunch of rekkids under her arm! We relaxed poolside whilst [grammar - Ed.] Kreemé [below left and eighteen my ass - Ed.] served her signature brake fluid n' guano smoothies!
FT3 (studying Killer Sudoku) I'll be honest, Ms. Hoffs, but your constant reappearances here seem to suggest some kind of unhealthy obsession on your part. Yes, I took you beyond the limits of passion on a wild ride to the shores of ecstasy and taught you how to feel fully a woman for the first time in your life - but can you not move on?
SH Which I'm here to ax you a favor, Farq, and for once it ain't physical.
FT3 That's a relief. A guy needs time to hisself, consarn it. How can I help?
SH It's my new album. It's got some great, sorry, swell songs on it, recorded back in 1999.
FT3 Wait - you made an album? Like a record?
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| Smoothie, anyone? |
FT3 Oh dear. The Lost Album? Seriously? How very original. And inaccurate. Should be The Found Album. Name it after a song, why don'cha.
SH What, like In The Year 2525?
FT3 Well, a song on the album, preferably.
SH Will you choose one for me? Couldja huh wouldja?
FT3 (sighs) How about Who Will She Be? Goes nicely with the image.
SH Love it! LOVE it!! Can you sprinkle some fairy dust on th' pitcher? Pretty please?
FT3 (whips out wax crayons, makes a few deft strokes) Voilà. And I made the font all lower case, which has a cooler look.
SH Why, Farq *snurfle* that's beautiful! *sob* How can I ever repay you?
[tape mercifully runs out at this point - Ed.]
This post funded in part by the Alfred E. Neuman For President (1955) Campaign
Today's freeload will be Th' Recorded Woiks O' Susanna Hoffs! Oboy!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLeave us talk about dames - specifically, a dame what you admire, not just lust after. Try to get your mind out of your pants fer once, fercrissake.
Before I expound on who I admire, I just have to wrap my head around the idea that Susanna Hoffs is 65. 1980s me says that ain't possible . . . until i pass an uncovered mirror in my house . . . --Muzak McMusics
ReplyDeleteKamala Harris is admired in my house. If she wins the election, then all the better. If not, I don’t want to think about it.
ReplyDeleteYou do Killer Sudoku? Way too difficult for me.
sudoku.com > killer > expert, then toggle through until you get a game that only forty-five percent or so solved. I do one a day, sometimes a couple. I like it because it's about patterns, not numbers (basic addition/subtraction doesn't make it maths), and because every puzzle at that level seems unsolvable at some point, but they all suddenly break open, often unexpectedly. And there are many more tricks to learn than standard sudoku. Good to keep an ageing brain sparking.
DeleteThanks, I'll give it a go, but have tried the KS in my paper, and it's never broken open for me.
DeleteI "admire" the hell out of a lot o' dames but "dames I admire, not just lust after"?! Hmmmm .... that's a tough one. Joan Jett kicked some serious ass in an all male arena and of course there's our own Babs who I know we all hold in high esteem, even without seeing her gams. Lots of historical dames of course like Hedy Lamarr who checks both boxes and those chicks that helped put a man on the moon supposedly. And lots more probably.
ReplyDeleteKamala would be my choice also, but I try not to be too political here. There's way too much of that elsewhere!
ReplyDeletePatricia Smith. Rhiannon Giddins. Yeah, I am married to one of them.
ReplyDeleteMy late Aunt Sarah, Joni Mitchell, Ida Lupino, Frances McDormand, (to be cont'd) . . . --Muzak McMusics
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure there is anyone male or female in contemporary public life who I admire and certainly not anyone from the western political or celebrity classes. They enjoy far too much privilege and have far too great a sense of entitlement yet have delivered far too little for that.
ReplyDeleteThe only women (and men) who might come into that category have all departed this mortal coil. I do admire my missus for putting up with me though......
My admiration for Ms. Hoffs is perhaps the best-kept secret on th' IoF©. She can write massive hits and subtle keepers, play the guitar (and knows how to wear it), has informed and intelligent taste, and looks like a lot of fun, at any age. This "new" one is an unexpected delight, and not the only "lost" album she's recorded (the other is in the freeload). It's not her complete œuvre here, but a good six album sampling. Wotta dame.
ReplyDeletehttps://workupload.com/file/f3KkyYtnuSP
For me, you already cover her...this week's special guest star was kind enough to make a few appearances in L.A. with my band backintheday and she was gracious with her time (she brought nice wine to rehearsals), talent ( that moment when she started singing and the keyboard player and I just stared at each other, giggling like fanboys. Well, we kinda were!), and we had a great time. And she looked a million times better than the rest of us combined!
ReplyDeleteThis wins the IoF©'s coveted Comment O' Th' Week Award! Your prize? Why, this wonderful Stepford Princess™ Brand Snax-Tray! Fully under seven inches in diameter, your Stepford™ Brand Snax-Tray is formed from washable Champagne-finish Lucite®, and graced with genuine Rosewood-look handles! This heirloom treasure will form the center-piece of any glass-top coffee table domestic hospitality array!
Delete(Uh - do you have any of your music to share?)
Northing happening here (hit the wrong google button before. There's too much Google, at least in my eyes...)- Thanks for the honorific. Can't wait for the next meeting of the Wealthier Than Jesus to serve Harvey's scotch and Swisher Sweets to the boys. I have one grainy mp3 with Sue playing her teeny 12 string and a grainier photo onstage at a very sweaty Rusty's Surf Ranch gig that is affixed above my bed. I've been most lucky to have a few brushes with the Actually Talented. My PowerPop band did just finish a new cd, however..!
DeleteYou're in a Power Pop band? Quit rotating your toe in the hot sand and post some info. I for one will certainly buy the disc as soon as I get work.
DeleteCan I get it in genuine walnut vinyl veneer?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the card Farq. How'd you know what I looked like?
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to begin cashing in my discounts.
You can leave in a Hoff, or a minute and a Hoff.
ReplyDeleteHer covers albums (Under the Covers Vols. 1, 1.5, 2 & 3) with Matthew Sweet are top-notch.
ReplyDelete