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| In rarely-seen image, Ms Hoffs aligns chakras in mystic Tibetan ritual! |
Well okay, the th' Four Or Five Guys© are well versed in contemporary psych-rock, and there may be roughly three of 'em who've heard of this swell combo. Even they (the goddamn pencil-neck know-alls) will probably find something in this Bumper BlisterPak™ what they ain't gots.
Sultry, pouting Susanna Hoffs is no stranger to the scented shores of th' IoF©, in fact it's hard to get rid of the doll. When I let it slip I was going to FoamFeature© the Ellies - as absolutely nobody is calling them - she caught the next bathysphere out of Mandalay to host this very special Jangular Jamboree™!
We relaxed poolside whilst Kreemé served her signature Lighter Fluid n' Anchovy Smoothies and Susi waxed loquacious anent her favorite sitar-centric combo!
SH Doesn't that girl own any clothes?
FT3 My apologies. Her bikini is in the wash. So! Elephant Stone!
SH I am like so digging this band! I can't understand why they're not huge? I mean, elephants are huge.
FT3 Stones can be huge, too. But then they're more like rocks.
SH And talking of rocks - this band does!
FT3 Okaayyy - (looks at watch) I think that's enough content. Nobody reads this crap, anyway. Susikins? I have to go wait in the lounge? Nothing personal. There's this killer sudoku I need to finish (rubs palms enthusiastically).
SH Oh - sure. Can you send Kreemé out with some snacks, maybe a quart of silicone lube and an oven mitt?
[Audio runs out at this point. Contact me for security footage - Ed. ]
This post made possible thru' grants from Concerned Confederate Couchfuckers, a non-profit used furniture logistics initiative out of Perineum, TN.
Six albums plus mini-album from this band that fit right into the Paisley Underground Sound but arrived too late. Top-tier everything from the band that should have been as big as two large boulders. All you have to do is name one song that nobody should ever have to listen to again. I don't mean the worst track off so-and-so's album that you really hate, I mean "standard" songs covered by (possibly) hundreds of artists.
ReplyDeleteMy vote: (Oh) When The Saints Come Marching In
If I never have to listen to Hotel California again, but you do not mean that, you mean standards , any christmas song. from the modern standard All I want for christmas are your two front teeth
ReplyDeleteChristmas songs are exactly what I mean. Luckily, Christmas in Siam is altogether different and apart from looped music in the supermarkets (charmingly mispronounced Thai versions) there's nothing like the carpet-bombing of Yuletide melodies you get in the West.
DeleteWhen I joined my High School choir, we had to learn all the classic Christmas carols (starting in early September). AND we had to learn a bunch of them in Latin, and all 3 or 4 verses. By Christmas, we were sick of them, but I can still remember Adeste Fideles & a few more 50+ years later.
DeleteWhat A Wonderful World
ReplyDeleteKeep 'em coming - if we get enough I'll *curate* a comp and do a cover. Oboy.
ReplyDeleteAnything by Barry Manilow.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't qualify.
DeleteMustang Sally. Probably a great song, but spoiled for me by local bands in the 80’s covering it in heavy/rock, blues/rock, and soul/Commitments stylee. I expect I witnessed a local punk version too.
ReplyDeleteYup.
DeleteStairway.To.Heaven!.! puh-leezee..not that song!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, but no. The original is over-familiar, but that's not what we're looking for.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHmmm..."Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen. It's a great song, but not the kind of song I want to hear so many versions of. Lyrically, it's just so damn weird! Folks just pick and choose what verse to make the song seem 'uplifting'.
DeleteI don't think this counts, because it's not (I think) a way over-performed standard - although I can be persuaded otherwise.
DeleteLen never intended it to be uplifting - the lyrics run counter to the title. "It's cold and it's a very broken hallelujah, hallelujah ..." It's one of those songs that John Q. Public entirely fails to understand because they haven't thought about the words, like Every Breath You Take, and Born In The USA.
I google 300 times!
DeleteI was gonna vote for this, too but thought it wouldn't count too. Be persuaded!
DeleteIt's a GREAT song ! But y'all need to read the lyrics...and maybe a dozen or so versions is enuf!
DeleteAgreed. Bird On a Wire Is my fav Cohen tune.
DeleteIf we can find a version that makes me feel ill, it's in.
DeleteMichael Bolton's version from his "Duets" album.
Delete..and I am very much hoping for your curated Elephant Stone anthology!
DeleteHappy Birthday
ReplyDeleteYup.
Deleteany country bar has a band butchering "Wagon Wheel"...wait, how can you butcher something that was already mainly meat extenders?
ReplyDeleteO-kaayyy ...
DeleteHow about this for synchronicity? I'd never heard this song until about an hour ago, when a friend was playing his guitar and singing this song I didn't know. Guess what? Yup. It was Wagon Wheel, and it's a long way from being unlistenable. Just being overfamiliar isn't enough. This is a decent song which my pal sang beautifully - he's from Tennessee, or somewhere like it.
DeletePlease send your friend on a tour of California; the song is already a punchline here!
DeleteHe's very aware of its history, he just likes singing it. Also - it's a specifically US hit, and I don't think many people in the UK have heard of it (and only two in Thailand) - we're aiming for way-over-familiar standards.
DeleteAnything from "Grease" - it seems to get revived every couple of years unfortunately - 'why it's a Grease lightnin' - O God not again . . . . .!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't qualify.
DeleteHere's another one - My Way.
ReplyDeleteWe're looking for songs, not recordings or performances - "standards" that have been covered too many times already. As an incentive, if we make album length here, I have an agreement from major music publishers that they will no longer grant rights to cover these songs, and most western governments have promised to make their performance illegal.
"Somewhere Over The Rainbow"
ReplyDeleteIn with a bullet! 1843 listed versions......
DeleteAbsolutely.
Deleteyeah, but it's still a great song! You just gotta hear my version...Just $5 on my website...
DeleteIf th' Four or Five Guys kick in a buck each ... like that's gonna happen.
Deletethat ?
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-f26CGWGTk
I made it through three seconds - possibly slightly less - before bailing. Thank you. I think.
Deleteit takes 42 seconds before it really starts
DeleteI look forward to literally never hearing this again.
DeleteIf there is one song that makes me want to tazer the televison it's 'Send In The Clowns'.
ReplyDeleteSecondhandsongs.com have listed 511 cover versions of that song. It seems every clown with a microphone has sung it. Whilst it is ahead of My Way (352 covers) it is still trailing some way behind "When The Saint Come Marching Home (655 covers) but all of them pale into insignificance compared to the one and only 'Moon River' with 1095 versions listed. Can you imagine buying a 30CD set of versions of 'Moon River'?
Its a song that really needs no more versions EVER!
Send In The Clowns didn't need an original version, either, so wretched is it. This makes the cut. Moon River? Great song. Fight me. I can always listen to Andy Williams' version.
DeleteAs it goes I too can listen to the Andy Williams version (clearly it is imprinted on my soul from all those interminable Andy Williams shows in the 60's) so I'll give you two others I feel far less fond of to consider along with 'Clowns' which don't quite invite the same sort of interest as some of the others. Hopefully someone has concreted over that "Green Green Grass of Home" and the Environmental movement have declared Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree tantamount to encouraging the abuse of that Mighty Tree never to be repeated again.
DeleteYellow Ribbon makes the cut. Oh yes. Has Ruby (Don't Take Your Love To Town) had enough cover versions to qualify as a standard?
DeleteAt 150 versions methinks it could well make the cut as I would suggest this dreary little ditty. I further nominate 'Mr. Bojangles'
Delete500 Miles the Proclaimers oh dear!
ReplyDelete"The Proclaimers" is specific, and doesn't qualify. I doubt the song - as truly horrible as it is - has achieved standard status, has it?
DeleteMy impression is that In The Midnight Hour has gotten more abuse than Mustang Sally and, yes, I love hearing Wilson Pickett sing them.
ReplyDeleteMidnight Hour is a good song that needs a good singer. Mustang Sally? Anyone can shout through that, and frequently does.
DeleteHoliday Road by Lindsey Buckingham. Used in too many US TV commercials.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I'm pleased to see Lovely Lindsey here, it doesn't qualify. The original may be over-familiar (to some), like Stairway, but it's not a stand-alone song standard that should have been retired long ago.
DeleteAlso the song Everywhere (Fleetwood Mac) is now being sung by Will Farrell in TV commercials. Too often.
ReplyDeleteSame as above.
DeleteHappy Trails
ReplyDeleteI think this qualifies, but I only really know the QMS version.
DeleteRoy Rogers & Van Halen.
DeleteBefore we forget, in a very unelephant way, what this piece was "about", here's the Elephant Stone albums:
ReplyDeletehttps://workupload.com/file/dn4k5tGRSse
If you're unfamiliar, think Paisley Underground, (expert) sitar, guitar jangle, harmonies, varied songs and arrangement, and quality everything. One of my bestest favoritest.
I forgot. Thanks Farq.
DeleteYou are right about this band. How come nobody ever heard of them before is a mystery.
DeleteThey have an ardent following of four or five guys now! They're on th' gravy train to easy street!
DeleteYou'll Never Walk Alone. From Jerry Lewis' annual singing of it, to Fat Elvis' warbling it in Vegas, its become the standard of every mooch that sings in a corner bar.
ReplyDeleteMakes the cut. We're going to have to source the cheesiest, most unbearable version of each song.
DeleteMaybe I should buy a mic and record a version of it........
DeleteBut, this has to be a contender, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NurYDwKZ9g
Delete"Elvis never walked alone, he will be remembered for eternity 😢⚡👑⚡"
DeleteLeave us hope not for this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YbUyjt_MQQ
DeleteIts kinda hard to make fun of Sir Tom (but that one does open the possibilities). The Celtic Women one is just cringeworthy. When I hear Elvis' version, I can just picture him doing the karate chop routine at the end.
DeleteCeltic Woman is my favorite band.
DeleteFavorite band to hate?
DeleteI'd like to go to a concert just so I could shout out WHIPPING POST!!! and FREEBIRD!!!
DeleteDoes "Que sera, sera" qualify?? How's about the Thai "Jinger ben, Jinger ben" ??
ReplyDeleteNugatory for both, I'm afraid. Always happy to hear Doris breeze through Que Sera, and the return of Jingerben to the aisles of Lotus is a seasonal treat.
DeleteOh well!! Mai pen rai!!
DeleteThat's OK. You're from Hollandia. Nobody expects you to know about music.
DeleteYesterday - maybe the Ray Conniff singers version?
ReplyDeleteYesterday makes the cut. Supposedly a pinnacle of contemporary songwriting, every cover version only highlights its shortcomings. It's a melody that never really gets on its feet after the clubbing of those first notes - DAD-da-dah.
DeleteSomething - the Della Reese version is pretty awful.
ReplyDeleteAnother "classic" that drags its feet through the most banal lyric since Yes We Have No Bananas, but one hit from the cheeky Fabs is already enough.
DeleteElton John's Your Song as slaughtered by Cilla Black.
ReplyDeleteI hope Cilla makes an appearance on the album, but it won't be singing this. I'm far from a Reg Dwight fan, but Your Song is a neat piece of songwriting, apart from the lyrics - "if I were a chartered accountant, but then again, no ..."
DeleteCilla was a serial slaughterer. I'll never forget how she mutilated Marc Bolan's 'Life's A Gas' in duet with him
DeleteCilla did release a version of 'What The World Needs Now' which at 381 cover versions and counting certainly meets the technical critieria. It was released onlu in the US and Canada and 'Surprise Surprise' it bombed.
DeleteIf she did a version of Yesterday, that's the one.
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76umHfGGPuk
DeleteTop notch warbling by our Cilla. Yuck.
Delete"Blowin' in the Wind" should be gone with the wind by now.
ReplyDeleteIf I Had.a Hammer ... I would smash any record with Blowin' in the Wind!
DeleteIt's right up there with Puff the Magic Dragon (which luckily didn't have too many cover versions).
Delete...and that wind should blow away that hammer, too!
Delete"If I Had A Hammer" is a lock-in. Puff is awful, but not a standard. Blowin' In The Wind? Jury's out, beause I certainly want to hear the original again.
DeleteSummertime (and the livin' is easy). Many years ago I decided to stop buying albums which contained covers of Yesterdays, Caravan, or the above -- Sun Ra albums being exceptions.
ReplyDeleteSummertime is a controversial and even edgy choice. But I think it's in. So is Mack The Knife, which I just thought of.
DeleteMy Funny Valentine - dreary and doleful
ReplyDeleteOh Sweet Baby Jesus yes. This is one standard always attempted by young "jazz" singers, generally using a vintage mic in a video which includes a cigarette burning in an ashtray and a shadowy piano player.
DeleteHa ha spot on Farq
DeleteListen to Carmen McRae's version and tell me you never want to hear that song again.
DeleteFT3 ----- What the hell? Elephant Stone? I had NO idea of their existence.
ReplyDeleteI started listening and enjoying and thinking this is some of the freshest, hooky, listenable music I've heard in a long time. There is A LOT going on here - and I'm liking all of it. It's also very well produced.
"Love is Like a Spinning Wheel" from the Ship of Fools album -- where the hell did that come from? - multiple influences from the past yet doesn't sound copycat at all.
This is one of your best deliverables ever.
Thames, thank you, thank you, thank you. It's very difficult getting a response to the albums I post here. Mostly because people don't have enough time to download and listen before the next post comes up. But Elephant Stone are a wonderful band, they just don't fit anywhere except in the heads of people like us.
DeleteIts interesting that the genre which attracts the most covered songs (i.e. those rating over 2000 covers) has not been mentioned at all. Nobody has highlighted a Christmas song and for example White Christmas (not that I'm proposing it) has been covered at least 2,387 times. However I am going to be the first to be put on the naughty list because there is a somewhat lesser Christmas song that drives me nuts and that is 'Oh Christmas Tree' not least because its plodding tune is used for other purposes and while we're on special occasions you can throw in "Get Me To The Church On Time" as well.
ReplyDeleteRichard suggested a Christmas song without suggesting a Christmas song in the second comment. I'd suggest "So This I Christmas" or whatever it's called - John Lennon's worst-ever?
DeleteMy final update. Another standard that must be considered is 'Fly Me To The Moon' and this album would not be finished without contributions from those masters of the popular music scene Pinky & Perky and The Chipmunks so I propose Hello Dolly sung by Pinky & Perky and Swing Low Sweet Chariot by the Chipmunks
DeleteFarq's that Lennon Song Is 'Happy Xmas War Is over'
DeleteFly Me To The Moon? *cough* The verse is the chorus, or the other way around. This is a neat trick. Springsteen's Hungry Heart pulls it off, too. But Hello Dolly is made for this collection - kudos! Swing Low? Hard to care either way.
DeleteSongs deemed in-worthy thus far:
ReplyDeleteWhen The Saints Come Marching In
What A Wonderful World
Mustang Sally
Hallelujah
Happy Birthday
My Way
Send In The Clowns
Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree
Ruby (Don't Take Your Love To Town)
Mr. Bojangles
Happy Trails
You'll Never Walk Alone
Yesterday
If I Had.a Hammer
Summertime
My Funny Valentine
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Mack The Knife
It's looking like a double album. And just in time for Christmas! What a swell gift this will make for that Very Special Person!
DeleteYay! ( special person) [me]
Delete"The Windmills of Your Mind". When Dusty Springfield backed by a Memphis crew can't save the song, we can safely declare it irredeemable.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. You've hit a nerve with this one. Another song where the verse doubles as the chorus, the lyrics are pretty damn nice, poetry even.
DeleteRound like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning, running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind
Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own
Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving in a half forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble someone tosses in a stream
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind
Far out, man? You bet. The world needs more far out. But thanks for the suggestion (*wipes away tear*).
All covers of pop classics made by andean musicians.
ReplyDelete"El condor pasa" also gives me the creeps.
I feel like impaling someone with the flute when it sound around.
Also those "Dead Kennedys in reggae" style albums are aural turds to my ears.
Bat
Some pan pipes are essential to this collection.
DeleteCall me please when they come.
DeleteI'll find myself a comfortable spot by Greenland's Ice Cap.
Predators and frost are a much better option-
Bat
That Song List In Full (So Far):
ReplyDeleteWhen The Saints Go Marching In
What A Wonderful World
Mustang Sally
Hallelujah
Happy Birthday
My Way
Send In The Clowns
Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree (may be deleted)
Ruby (Don't Take Your Love To Town) (may be deleted)
Mr. Bojangles
Happy Trails
You'll Never Walk Alone
Yesterday
If I Had.a Hammer
Summertime
My Funny Valentine
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Mack The Knife
Hello Dolly
Fly Me To The Moon
... Michael Row The Boat Ashore (?)
Kumbya, my Lord, Kumbya.
DeleteThis replaces "Ruby".
Deletei disgress
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7k80aTOmSA
Yikes.
DeleteAnd another - You'll never walk alone.
ReplyDeleteDo try to pay attention. We don't ask for much here, the bar is set pretty low, but you've let yourself down, and in doing so let th' Four Or Five Guys© down. I have every confidence you'll "bounce back" as it were, and I'm treating this as an out-of-character lapse. It won't show on your record.
DeleteI humbly beg forgiveness and offer Dream a little dream of me by way of compensation- perhaps the Doris Day version?
DeleteNice song, and you disameliorate your egregiousness by suggesting Doris Day! Quit while you're behind!
DeleteI would be very pleased to never ever hear Lennon's Imagine again...
ReplyDeleteUh, Ms Pmac still gets royalties from it.
DeleteImagine makes the cut. It's been covered by thousands, and is possibly Lennon's worst. Hey Jude would be included too, but we already have Yesterday.
DeleteHey Jude would be on my list.
ReplyDeleteProud Mary!
ReplyDeleteOkay, we have enough for that swell Yuletide double album, I'll "curate" the bejaysus out of it and quilt up a cover.
ReplyDeleteIs 'curate' to hifalutin for ya? Bheegeezusss! Just fling it on the basement wall! ( But yeah, seriously pleased that you're doing it!)
ReplyDeleteUmmm...confusion here. The album you're assembling is Elephant Stone...right??? RIGHT???
ReplyDelete"Confusion here" is your catchphrase.
Deleteit's my damn bumpersticker!
DeleteSweet Caroline or just about anything by Neil Diamond.
ReplyDeleteVoting is closed, steVe. But thanks.
DeleteThanks!
DeleteName one song that nobody should ever have to listen to again, that was the question. Then after several days of deliberation our host has told us ‘Gullible Island Dwellers’ that he’ll curate a double album of these song in time for Christmas - irony surely? It was only at this moment I realised FT3’s genius, Christmas is bad enough already without the addition of a double album of tracks that 'nobody should ever have to listen to again'… but if you play this double album when your unwanted Christmas guests arrive “Et voila!” before side two starts your troublesome family or whoever will realise they would rather be elsewhere, leaving you to enjoy the festivities as you would prefer with a bottle of Buckfast and a meerschaum pipe of your favourite smoking mixture.
ReplyDeleteAfter the first bottle of Buckfast and your favourite smoking mixture, maybe side two might just be the perfect way to celebrate Christmas. We are unworthy.
It'll be the next piece, in a couple of days, which I understand will be around the time UK radio stations - such as there are left - will be dusting off their copies of Wizzard's "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Dayayayay" and the first appearance of spray snow and inflatable reindeer. Not just for Christmas, this Very Special Recording will be one to treasure and share for many generations to come! Download extra copies for loved ones, friends and neighbours!
DeleteWhat was your question again?
DeleteThe XMas decorations have already been on sale for weeks here :(
DeleteI avoid the sort of radio stations that play Christmas records, but when food shopping around the first week of December some shops play awful Christmas music, this is when I employ my headphones and music player with a selection of heavy rock music.
Delete