Friday, November 15, 2019

The Bleak Void Of Finnish Suicide Gore-Metal

Deep in the endless pine forests of Finland, an obscure cult grew around a ruined church. Legend had it that the very earth was soaked in the blood of babies sacrificed to Väinämöinenguðmundsdóttir, the God Of Despair. Self-proclaimed leaders of the cult, Paul Chastain and Ric Menck, both from myth-shrouded Providence, Rhode Island, brought with them a copy of the Necronomicon said to have belonged to H.P. Lovecraft.

Strange rituals took place in that church, with hymns to Väinämöinenguðmundsdóttir specially composed by Chastain and Menck. The ruined building mysteriously burned down, with Chastain and Menck the only survivors. They have understandably remained tight-lipped about those events, but released the hymnal - played backwards - under the name Choo Choo Train

Listening to this music now, one can only wonder at the unspeakable horrors that took place in far-off Finland. Certainly, Chastain and Menck aren't talking. All they will say is, "don't play Choo Choo Train backwards, if you value your sanity, and wish the portal between universes to remain closed."

With that urgent caveat - enjoy!

11 comments:

  1. Are you sure of the spelling of the God of Despair? I have seen it spelled differently in other history books. But I am not where. He must have a nickname.

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    1. Ken, I only have Ed's word for this. But I'm pretty sure "the God of Despair" is spelled t-h-e g-o-d o-f d-e-s-p-a-i-r, as here. Thank you for your query. As to a nick name, it may be Nick?

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  2. Welcome back. I would inquire as to where you went, but given the first post back, better left unasked. I always thought the audio to the god of despair was the album 666 by Aphrodite's Child.

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    1. Jeez. Three lousy weeks breakin' rocks at the Big House for a checkout error at the convenience store. The error being production of a Glock instead of cash. I was trying to find my goddamn wallet! And they call this an open carry state?

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    2. The man always trying to hold us down........ Free Farq!

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  3. Welcome back Farq! Did they fix you?

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    1. It was a fix, MrDave, fixed good an proper. I reckon Peanuts Molloy was behind it. Omerta my ass. Even my calluses got calluses.

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    2. I am innocent of all accusations: on 17th November I was in a desert town celebratin' 40 years of marital servitude. If I gave you a second thought I never noticed it. You did what you did so you deserved what you got, that's how I see it.
      Cosa Nostril, Peanuts Molloy.

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    3. Peanuts, th' woid on th' street is you ain't long for dis burg, pally. I wus you, I'd quit while you wus behind. My regards to th' wife, by th' way - she still cry out my name at inappropriate times? Youse oughta be flattered.

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  4. Ask the experts at despair.com :-(

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