I hit Florida pay dirt with this:
Man run over by lawn mower while trying to kill son with chainsaw.
Mission Statement: "To do very little, for very few, for not very long." Disappointing the easily pleased since 1819. Not as good as it used to be from Day One. "History is Bunk" - P.T. Barnum. Eudæmonia, hermeneutics, phenomenology, ontology, chronotope, heteroglossia and mnemetics out th' ass! Artificially Intelligent before it was fashionable. Fat Camp for the Mind! "Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost." Proudly Content-Free since last August!
Thursday, November 28, 2019
Fun With Florida Man!
I hit Florida pay dirt with this:
Man run over by lawn mower while trying to kill son with chainsaw.
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Mine is: Florida Man Finds a WWII Grenade, Places It in His Truck, Drives to Taco Bell.
ReplyDeleteMsSusanM
Florida man tries to rob store to prove to his mother he’s ‘independent’
ReplyDeleteThese are great! If anyone else has a birthday Florida Man story to tell, please do contribute. There's a prize for the best entry! MsSusanM is the hot contender so far ...
ReplyDeleteFlorida man seeks threesome to 'ride out the hericane'
ReplyDelete*ulp*
DeleteMr. Devil hits a home run with this one.
Mine was: Florida man strips inside of steakhouse. As you aan probably guess the man was inebriated.
ReplyDeleteFlorida Man Ticketed for Eating Pancakes in Intersection
ReplyDeleteFlorida man jailed for giving his girlfriend a ‘wet willy’
ReplyDeleteA naked Florida man in a Publix parking lot kicked trash cans and jumped on and punched cars while screaming “I only had one beer!” cops say.
ReplyDeleteFlorida man accused of cutting his tracking device after stealing from dead girlfriend
ReplyDeleteMine: Florida man arrested for making grills at home.
ReplyDeleteFlorida man leaving jail tried to steal car with cop in it
ReplyDeleteYawning Angel sez...
ReplyDeleteFlorida man has been caught on camera licking a homeowner's doorbell.
Mine: Florida man, angry over straw, attacks McDonald’s cashier, she fights back
ReplyDeleteUnless we get a sudden influx of entries, this competition is now closed. Each entry was judged independently for merit, and a I impartially decided that the best and winningest entry came from ... me. So congratulations to me and I hope I enjoy the prize - a signature Soup N' Nutsburger down at Peanuts Molloy's Diner ("Where Th' Elite Meet To Eat").
ReplyDeleteNOT that there's ANYTHING wrong with making a statement such as:
ReplyDeleteIt's not cool to make light of those suffering from Mental Health issues . . .
BUT...
Depending on if booleans are used or not, in two tries (What if not over-doing it & gluttony is this Holiday all about...?) on the GOO-GULL-ing...
I gets:
Florida man attacked by a ‘crazy squirrel’ gone nuts. And it was raised by a neighbor | Miami Herald
Florida man believed he was ‘half-man, half-dog’ during fatal attack, doctor says
Florida Man is from Florida. They got mental health out th' ass down there.
DeleteSure, but they's also gots the Cornered Market (as opposed to the Corner Likker Store)(No "Poker Out Back" please...) on "Weird News."
DeleteFull disclosure: I am Florida Man but I haven't eaten my neighbors .... yet ...
ReplyDeleteKudos to MrDave for having the guts to confess here. As to "weird news", B.B., down there they call it something different - "news".
ReplyDeleteLate to the party but mine is still pretty sweet:
ReplyDeleteFlorida man accused of having sex with 'Frozen' toy at Target
It's party time all the time at the House O' Foam©, Mr. Guy!
Delete