Breaking Bad

Mark Isham is one of dem guys. You know - a musician. Not a musician like, say, Neil Young is a musician, or Lou Reed, but a guy wit' a shitload of notes at his disposal. An' chords. He's probably got a special pad of dat paper wit' lines on it what musicians use. The type you see in movies where dat one guy is makin' marks on it while he's frownin' at th' pianny an' his frail, what is like wit' child, is trowin' pans an' screamin' get a job, ya lousy nogood bum.

Here's a couple of superb soundtracks from the Tortured Boy Genius. Point Break is his score, not the soundtrack release with a collection of songs on it.

Bad Lieutenant Port Of Call New Orleans is again the true score, with an exclusive promo suite added that wasn't commercially available.

Gee, are these discs ever swell!

Da Boids Is Da Woid Part Pre-Penultimate

Byrdmaniax is the pariah of the Byrds catalog. In Bakersfield, the album was flogged through the streets. Concerned citizens spoke up at a Schenectady Town Hall meeting against its overblown production and baffling song choices. Byrds fans wept openly in the streets of the Five Boro's, lamenting the fall of a once-great group. Jim-Roger McGuinn briefly changed his name to Jim-Roger Czynsczewski and hid in a Banff moose pit to escape the hail of rotten vegetables and horse puckey hurled at him by angry record buyers.

Leave us be charitable with the wisdom of hindsight. Kathleen's Song, Pale Blue and Trust are gorgeous songs. Glory Glory might have made a reasonable B-side. Green Apple Quickstep is just swell, Jamaica Say You Will is just acceptable. But this 22-track "complete" has no unused songs that could have replaced the wretched Battin/Fowley garbage that sunk the album far more effectively than the production. Half an album is better than none? It has to be, because that's all we got.

EDIT: The unprecedented upsurge of support [2 Guys] prompted me to reassess 
Absolute Happiness. While I'm not convinced it sounds like the Byrds, it is a pretty song and so should be included on the Half Album.

Play "Who's In My Box?" With T.V's Laura Petrie!

If you're a Four Or Five Guy© of a certain age, you may remember getting a zipper-testing hormonal rush from the Dick Van Dyke Show that had nothing to do with heartwarming family values and fine lounge furnishings and swell threads by Botany 500. If you're like me, Laura Petrie gave you enough wood to last through an Ozarks winter. Oh boy! Was she ever a dish! A real Petrie dish!

But did you know that in real life, Ms. Petrie is also a keen and knowledgeable collector of obscure rock albums? That's why we skyed Leggy Laura over to th' Isle O' Foam© in our special jet-powered FoamPlane© to host this very special edition of "Who's In My Box?"!

The rules? Why, they're simplicity themselves [itself - Ed.], ya doofus! Simply guess th' fine artiste struggling to be heard in Luscious Laura's Box!

M.I.T. Beta Tests Neil Young Shit-Not-Shit-O-Meter©!

FFMFI© Laboratory Of Science, yesterday

Professor U. U. Fahrthaüs of the Massachussetts ... Massachusets ... Massachussets ... Chassamusetts ... fuck it ... Cambridge Institute Of Technology swung by th' Isle O' Foam© yestiddy to install the beta version of his new Neil Young Shit-Not-Shit-O-Meter©. "Th' Isle o' Foam©'s isolation makes it an ideal testing ground," averred Fahrthaüs, "plus also, broads in bikinis!"

In layman's terms, th' Neil Young Shit-Not-Shit-O-Meter© answers a long felt need - no, not that one - for a scrupulously impartial critical assessment and scientifically authoritative rating of every studio album recorded by the Nowadays Clancy Can't Even Sing hitmaker, relieving both fan and H8R alike of the onerous [single, only - Ed.] responsibility to grade the Great Artiste's œuvre [Fr. - egg - Ed.].

"The least reliable way of rating a Neil album has always been taking his fans' word for it," the Prof. continued, eyeing Kreemé as she polished my piperack. "Neil Young fans know Jack Shit. So now - lemme plug this doohickey in - there's a science-type algorithm what does the job, and they can shut the fuck up. High five!"

The Neil Young Shit-Not-Shit-O-Meter© gives binary readings - shit, and not shit. "It was a design parameter from the outset. We're not interested in nuance and decimal points or whatever, that's a fucking waste of time with Neil."

To demonstrate its capabilities, Kreemé bent to insert Everyone Knows This Is Nowhere. The test result was immediate and unambiguous, the NOT SHIT light flashing, and the ALL CLEAR klaxon sounding over the island, scattering sleepy wildlife and disturbing my BVDs on the washing line.

"If the Four Or Five Guys© would like to bring albums to the comments - if they have any Neil Young albums - we can run 'em through th' machine at no cost," the Prof. continued, tenderly helping Kreemé replace the vinyl correctly in the inner sleeve and not like a girl, with the open edge out. "I plan to be around a while."

That's a swell offer, Prof.! I encourage the Four Or Five Guys© to participate in this groundbreaking research! Results will be recorded and tabulated in real time, right here in the post!

Please note only 8-Track and vinyl formats supported. 

THOSE RESULTS IN FULL:

Everyone Knows This Is Nowhere - NOT SHIT
ARC - SHIT 
Eponymous First Album - NOT SHIT 
Time Fades Away - SHIT 
Dead Man OST - NOT SHIT   
On The Beach - NOT SHIT  
Re-Ac-Tor - SHIT  
Harvest Moon - NOT SHIT 
Ragged Glory - SHIT  
Rust Never Sleeps - SHIT   
Trans - SHIT    
Psychedelic Pill - SHIT  
A Letter Home - SHIT 
Landing On Water - SHIT  
Harvest - NOT SHIT
Everybody's Rockin - SHIT 
After The Goldrush - NOT SHIT  
Tonight's The Night - NOT SHIT 
Hawks n' Doves - SHIT 

Kreemé Premieres New Uniform, Interactivity Feature!

"Cody who?"

Newly-inducted Media And Entertainment Officer Kreemé (19) took time out yesterday to model th' Official FFMFI© Uniform! Hoo boy! Combining practicality with utility, this simple yet uncomplicated ensemble says "respect for authority" in a language we can all understand!

Kreemé's first project on th' Isle O' Foam© has been the development and implementation of our new interactive feature we're calling Reactions®.

"There are many shy-type guys out there," Kreemé giggled yesterday as she perched, still wet from the surf, in my lap, "what would like to join the conversation but feel, like, daunted by th' high octane smarts on display. We're hoping that Reactions© will encourage everyone, even the fuckin' dumb-asses, to feel they can make a difference!"

The Reactions© feature is to be found at the bottom of each post, above the comments. Just below the date. In the gray box, FFS. Got it? Simply check one of the boxes to join in the fun! How check box? Simply ask Nurse Diesel to manipulate your mouse and click your cursor for you, old timer!