Every Four Or Five Guy© hears it at some point. The anguished screech of "Lan' sakes! Whut is dis shit!?" from his main twist as he cues up a Beefheart elpee on th' den Victrola. Leave us face it, dolls don't get Beefheart and never will. It's their only failing, you ask me. So I tasked Kreemé [19 my ass - Ed.], th' Isle O' Foam©'s talented Diversity Issues Outreach Officer with a project that would test her feminine skills to the limit - to curate a frail-friendly Beefheart album, one what a guy such as I could confidently pitch woo to.
After long and hard work, and many oversight and transparency meetings in the Conversation Pit O' Sound™, she succeeded in creating a swell long-playing record suitable for any tomato to leave her fingerprints all over and lose the inner sleeve of. Sure, it's short, but if your broad's not ready to be flipped over by the time you flip the album over then brother, check your deodorant!
You want this more than air to breathe, so leave a crazy and meandering comment!
ReplyDeleteTake particular caution with your pessary today.
DeleteIf she kept Frownland as the opener...
ReplyDeleteshe's fine wool!
If she kept the title(((Oops! I guess NOT!)))
...well she could have at least made it sound feminine and fresh...
like Stay Fresh Tuna Melt Mariposa
(so much for my 'bubblegum' moniker)
Mouth Full or not, this album is really a fin tickler
that never had a bubblegum flavor to begin with.
Its music might be intentionally secondary to the scaly lore that promotes gill formation as we all head back to the water to hand in our opposable digits.
What a shame. There's a recent reissue that includes a cut-out replica mask of the original trout picture. And did the Captain really use the same hypnosis and incarceration techniques on the band that modern women can appreciate. Either way, I'm looking for some Kreeme De La Fish!
Pointless Stealth Link© coming up soon as I drain th' goats ...
DeleteHere's high quality scans of the cut-out mask and tote-bag that were included with the recent vinyl reissue...(ONLY 4 MB):
Deletezippyshare ---> https://www32.zippyshare.com/v/noJf3vYJ/file.html
WeTransfer ---> https://we.tl/t-cNMHCVdiw5
It sure doesn't look like a trout
but, Carp Mask Replica just doesn't glow like the title in question!
Excellent work. Thank you. Weird to see the flowers on the inner bag!
DeleteWell, the bag is begging ALL fluorescent Flood-Fill quorums to spring into maneuvers ASAP!
DeleteThis album really DOES need a
ReplyDeleteBig Sister Edition
and a Little Sister Edition.
Americans start your trolling motors...
Ready,
Steady,
Shronk!!!
However, the added expense of a sanitary applicator could not be justified
(making the Little Sister Edition more expensive than Big Sister's). Et cetera...
The Big Sister Edition would get a 'DO NOT FLUSH' sticker on the shrink wrap!
DeleteCaptain Roastbeefheart
ReplyDeleteSmells Like Trout Mask Replica
🍋🍅🍓🌶🍆
ReplyDeleteHow the chuffin' heck does one find the freaking link? have I had enough zen frustration yet?
ReplyDeleteTsk! Sudge langwidge!
DeleteSee dem fruits up dere? Huh?
I thought that was the display from the Isle of Foam Slot Machine.
DeleteOrange you glad, you found it?
DeleteThat's some swell tomato!
DeleteI kept waiting for the quarters to spit ouut from it. Actually, I'm still waiting.......
DeleteAbject gratitood for this gusset-moistener. Then move onto TMR to make sure they go home.
DeleteAn ex girlfriend of mine got me into Beefheart. She had hairy legs though so this probably doesn't count.
ReplyDeleteI looked into it.
ReplyDeleteAnyone help out Mr. Cheese here?
Thanx FT, berry inderesting.
ReplyDeleteNicely done, Mr. Throckmorton!
ReplyDeleteI thought for sure Pompadour Swamp would be on this.
ReplyDeleteMe too. I am disappoint.
DeleteIn the early 70s Curtis Knight had a backing band called Zeus, a guy I knew named Nicky Hogarth played keyboards for them. I thought I had the Zeus record but it seems I don't. Helpful, no?
ReplyDeleteMy estrogen levels must have been up for a while now 'cause when I put on "Trout Mask Replica" for the first time I was like "What is this shit?" and flipped that disc out of the player as quickly as possible. Maybe the Pretty in Pink version will convince me?
ReplyDeleteSmells like tuna????
DeleteI still enjoy it, but it has to be a private experience. More than enjoy it - it's part of me. Don't have to justify or explain.
DeleteI can get the Zeus album, but I am disinclined to so do.
ReplyDeleteAlready got the Zeus lp. It is all over the place. WHy disinclined? Still missing the Peak Pig! links...
ReplyDeleteWhy disinclined? Because it's all over the place? Tell you what - you should start a blog that gives away albums that are absolutely unattainable on the internet! But do it now before someone else steals the idea.
ReplyDeleteAside from being a Beefheart curator to the distaff contingent, I surmise from Kreemé's full lotus posture that she is also a yogini. What a wonderful pair of talents conjoined in one body; The Isle must indeed be a miraculous place.
ReplyDelete