All You Can Eat, Plus A Chicken Dept.

Michael Dinner was born into the Lunch family, Dust Springs PA, during the Mild Depression, a period of slight financial downturn that saw many poorer families eating their mule or selling their daughters to predatory Hollywood types looking to satisfy their Special Needs. Ma Lunch tells the tale:

"Some of them stupider folks up in the hills tried eating their daughter and selling the mule, but them movieland types wasn't interested. Except David Geffen. He bought a bunch of mules. And acourse we Lunches wasn't blessed with no daughter. It was when we wus down to boiling th' hooves that Michael makes up his mind to be a country rock musician. Well, acourse Pa and me just laughed! Pa says, what you going to call yerself, son? Lunch ain't no handle for a music-type star! And Michael looks up at him, and I'll never forget this, he says, I'll call myself Michael Dinner, on account its swank society tone."

The rest, of course, is history. Two swell albums which remain as little-known today as they were back then. And what of Dinner himself? Disheartened by his lack of success, Michael established the Dinner's Doner n' Donut Dinner Diner™ franchise, and retired to Alaska to raise lemurs.

Thanks to Monty'smusic for swimming across the Pacific with the Tom Thumb album clenched in his teeth!