Today, as break from daily carpet-bombing of hi-valu cultural artefacts, I turn the spotlight on you, the Four Or Five Guys©, what have made th' Isle O' Foam© such a swell joint over past couple years!
Y'know, pals, I am often enquired of by broads such as like, stewardesses, stenographers and other professional babes in need of husband-type guys, just what is it that makes the Four Or Five Guy© so different, so appealing? Above photograph [above - Ed.], taken yesterday in private dwelling-place of random Four Or Five Guy©, will go some way to assuaging their feminine curiosity!
Leave us enumberate just several of your desirous qualities:
😎 Respect for tomatoes, dames in general
😎 Knowledge of the Arts, and also the Music
😎 Sophisticated-type lifestyle
😎 Suaveity of apparel
😎 Keen interest in current events, such as sports
😎 Swellness of table manners, society etiquette, shit like that
😎 Sensitive to broads' needs in modern age
😎 Daily hygiene regime most days
😎 Awareness of healthy diet, exercise theory
😎 Immediate availability
Gals! If you been waiting in vain for Mr. Goodbar, he's waiting for you on th' Isle O' Foam©! Simply send show reel, vital statistics and ten dollars application fee to Farquhar Throckmorton III!
And here's what professional herbsman and rooster jockey Kwai Chang has to say; "Polyesteryear! Sears-Roebuck(?) sold Johnny Miller Sand Knits for a
more comfortable 18-hole trek to the clubhouse. I think they were
permanently creased and possibly even higher cut in the waste line for
anti-hernia swing confidence. Try getting into a Masonic Lodge wearing
those babies! Nothing says 'bachelor' like the ficus tree with the braided main stem!"
That photo was taken in my ideal lounge situation. But who is that random Four Or Five Guy©, and where does he buy a pair of orange 'high waister' trousers (pants in the usa). I haven't worn high waister trousers in 50 years, I want some.
ReplyDeleteBack on subject - I'm available.
Random Guy - "Randy" to his confreres - acts as representative for th' Four Or Five Guys© at conventions, swap meets, weenie roasts and Brit Milah parties. He embodies all we find admirable in guyhood.
DeleteWell Randy sure is a swell guy.
DeleteLooking at the picture (above) I'm sure that the vinyl spinning on the old record player is very recent Foam© featured Lalo and Dizzys Free Ride, which I don't think many (any) people commented on because they were too busy writing at length about gum. Guys if your dream bachelor pad looks like this (above) you should have d/loaded Free Ride its a great album. I have it spinning on my i-tunes enabled device now.
It is a great album. I rate Lalo very highly indeed, and Dizzy is a surprise choice for a collaboration but it works exceptionally well. Don't miss Bennie Maupin's "Slow Traffic" - that's an addictive cool funk album, too.
DeleteBut do either of these albums contain a stick of gum? And if so, what flavor? Four out of five beardy weirdos want music that tastes good, not music with good taste.
DeleteI don't blow the foam off the top of my Miller High Life.
ReplyDeleteThat's the lady's job, as every gentleman knows.
DeleteJonder is author of "Modern Manners For Men", featured on Oprah a while back.
DeleteI always put dames on a pedestal. (Easier to look up their dress.)
ReplyDeleteMe too.
DeleteDisappointingly, they're almost never natural blondes or red heads.
Careful with that fez, Mr. Throckmorton. Men who carry the mystic weight of a secret society, frown upon such shenanigans. As we say here in Noo Yawk "They ain't playin'."
ReplyDelete"We ain't playin', we're bringin' drama..."
DeleteThe Shriner Fez is the King's crown here on th' IoF©, where the Playboy Bunny ears are the Queen's. I toyed with a propellor beanie, but the fez has, as JKC notes, a "mystic weight".
DeleteThere's an IoF© tarot pack emerging from this - I may work up a set of cards. Alfred: the Fool, Doug Henning: the Magician, Drinks Globe: the World, etc. und so weiter.
Boy, aren't we a catch, huh, guys?
ReplyDeleteUh, guys?
Woo-hoo. Anybody out there?
Them broads is a little shy today ... I like that! I like to overcome their feminine hesitancy with my manly stratagems!
DeletePolyesteryear!
ReplyDeleteSears-Roebuck(?) sold Johnny Miller Sand Knits for a more comfortable 18-hole trek to the clubhouse. I think they were permanently creased and possibly even higher cut in the waste line for anti-hernia swing confidence. Try getting into a Masonic Lodge wearing those babies!
^This^
DeleteKwai is on fire!
DeleteSansabelt slacks and a fez. Just missing a mai tai.
ReplyDeleteSansabelt, just like Ed McMahon wore.
DeleteHey O!!!! But, I can't help you with the Reader's Digest Sweepstakes, buddy. Nor can I throw a football worth a damn.
DeleteOne really has to be early to be the worm who gets the bird here.
Delete"Ctrl" + "F" :
Sansabelt slacks
Ne-e-e-e-ver mind, mr mac beat me to it...
I guess I COULD comment on the MONKEES ™ ® © badge, but why bother?
Double Knits - the only way to to sweaty balls
ReplyDeleteIs that my dead ficus tree in the back?
Nothing says 'bachelor' like the ficus tree with the braided main stem!
ReplyDeleteColor me disappoint dat none of youse bums see fit to mention the insparution for dis swell feature - Richard Hamilton's Art Picture dat kick-started th' Pop Art movemink - an' from th' U.K. of England, of all places.
ReplyDeleteIn every dream home a heartache. Or so they say.
DeleteThe tan differential between her legs and midriff disturbs me. I'll try to work through it, of course.
ReplyDeleteYou guys should have your own comedy special. I laugh more here than SNL. My favorite is-awareness of healthy diet... Which describes me perfectly. Thanks 4 or 5 guys.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely one of the four or five, BillyMac.
Delete@BillyMac...
DeleteIf you think this stuff is funny...
you'll probably really appreciate our jokes!
Believe it or not, I like the fact that most comments are captivating and save me a lot of reading.