Mother Theresa's Primal Scream Prayer Answered!

 

Mo' Tezza, yesterday. Foam-O-Graph© courtesy Artificial Ignorance Corp.

It seems incredible that someone as intimate with God as Mother Theresa should have her prayers ignored, but this was very much the case back in 1991 on the release of Primal Scream's award-winning Screamadelica. Mo' Tezza, as she's known on OnlyFans©, dropped by False Memory Foam Island© on a recent soul-seeking tour, recruiting young dead women for her Nunnery of Eternal Redemptive Pain in the ninth circle of hell, where she now resides.

She revealed the whole story for the first time for your Foam Exclusive™, chatting poolside whilst [grammar - Ed.] Kreemé served signature bin water and tomato mold smoothies.

MT Can I take that girl with me?  She's been bad and needs punishing.

FT3 Ha ha! So, tell us about your Screamadelica prayer.

MT Well, I wanted a kind of shorter version, with just the spacey, blissed-out tracks. My busy schedule blessing starving orphans made chillaxing with the entire album difficult. So I prayed to God for a mix of the Andrew Weatherall tracks without the Stones knock-offs.

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FT3 And he didn't answer?

MT The fucker never answered. Just sent me more starving orphans. I was like, gee, thanks, God! More starving orphans to bless! I never got the Dodge Ram Truck, either.

FT3 It was a test of faith, right? 

MT Yeah, right. Like He was showing his love for me by putting me through to voicemail every fucking time. Fuck that, and fuck Him. Have you seen where He put me for all eternity, to continue His good works? Everything's on fire! He sends Jesus down with some sandals, that's the thanks I get. Not even the right size.

FT3 Well, Mo' Tezza, I'm here to tell you that one prayer at least has been answered!

MT I get the Ram Truck?

FT3 Next best thing! An exclusive personalised FoamMix© of Screamadelica, just the good bits! And it's housed in a limited edition sleeve variant to add to its collectability!

MT (tearing up) Why, bless your wrinkled old sphincter! 

This post brought kicking and screaming into the world with BabyGrease©, now in economical quart tubs!