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| Image created by my own factory-fit artificial intelligence |
One [grammar - Ed.] has to be very careful when invoking Taylor Swift's name. There are some very strange people out there and they bristle like warthogs if they suspect you're not a Ta-Ta Believer. And there's none stranger than Swiftie Dad™. My only opinion of Ms. Swift's music is that the little I've heard doesn't strike me as exceptional or even interesting, and that's as far as I need to take it. But that's already way over the line for Swiftie Dad™, who sees her in a Messianic light, capable of miracle healing, bonding families, and above all being above all criticism, both as a person and artist. This writer [Rolling Stone Magazine-style authorial modesty - Ed.] wonders what Frank would have made of Swiftie Dad™ - a song, at least. Ever the contrarian, he may well have expressed admiration for Swift herself in some ambiguous way, perhaps praising her public image engineering and steely business acumen. I doubt her music would be of much interest - it's neither dumb enough nor smart enough.
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| It's like sex, drugs and rock n' roll without the sex, drugs and rock n' roll |
But there's one thing I can say with confidence about the toothsome Taylor: she will boost the page hits of this otherwise boilerplate piece exponentially, even without her permafrost Stepford smile used as chickbait. I'm hoping it attracts chicks ("Dude! This is 2024!") because th' IoF©'s resident population is trending like China's - it's a Stale, Male And Pale Pride Parade. So to all you Taylorbabes popping your IoF© cherries ("Dude! This is 2024!"), th' IoF© bids a warm welcome! Come sit over here with Fwiendly Gwampy Farq while he raps about Frank! Who he? Why, he be like our own Bizarro Taylor Swift back when music was totally created to PISS OFF our parents! O, M, &G!
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| I need this shirt more than life itself |
Lumpy Gravy is a sneaky little sucker, ain't it? It snuck out in '68, two months after the epochal We're Only In It For The Money (as a kind of Part Deux) and everybody be like WTF??? LOL!!! Later that same year he "dropped" - Jesus Fucking Christ dropped - Cruising With Reuben And The Jets, another album that was seen as a side project, even though nobody used the term back then, and could in itself be seen as Part Trois of Money, making a tasty triple-decker of zircon-encrusted American Cheese. That's three perfectly-formed albums in a year, Millennials and Genwhatevs! He didn't take a five-year hiatus in a Mennonite log cabin to work through personal issues of loss, bereavement, and mental health battles, he stayed on the road and in the studio, making music. What a fucking Boomer.
Only thirty-two minutes long, Lumpy crammed in enough ideas to fuel an entire career. But it definitely wasn't a pop album, and it wasn't remotely classical in spite of the orchestrals. It wasn't rock n' roll, jazz or avant garde or easy listening, although all those tropes are present. It was, finally, only categorisable as Contemporary Music. And amazingly, against all the odds, it remains so. A dizzying collage of field recordings, improvised narration, sound effects, scored orchestral interludes, jaunty themes set to teen-friendly beats and ersatz jazz stylings, every brief mood is abruptly smacked into another in a continuously disruptive but coherent listening experience. That was quite a sentence, wasn't it? Would you like a snack?
Most pop enthusiasts who venture beyond Hot Rats into ZappaWorld© eventually list Lumpy in their Top Ten. Every play reveals some delightful and heretofore under-appreciated musical morsel. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Thank you, Frank.
Today's Zappafest is a bumper blister-pack of all Lumpy albums I gots, Which is much more than one. But There's a catch! The link will be posted in the comments to the Shock! Doris Day and Rock Hudson piece, which has had a frankly pitiful FORTY SIX page views. Only forty six of the around 1000 regliar visiters to th' IoF© trusted me enough to click the I UNDERSTAND AND WANT TO CONTINUE button. What the actual did you think was in there?? Anyways, youse bums better grow some balls, because that's where all the links are going to be posted "going forward". To reassure you, there's absolutely nothing in the piece remotely offensive except the use of Nancy Reagan's name. Quit being such a wuss awready.
ReplyDeleteSorry old bean but its been age rated and Blogger is demanding one send off personal identification details to prove ones age before one can access it. I for one am certainly not going to reveal my identity details just to get access to a single blog page. In fact no amount of web pages will encourage me to hand over identification details to one of the most unregulated industries (the internet) on the planet. So if you insist on popping the links on a restricted thread I'll just have to pop off to rutracker or soulsulk and pick em up there....
DeleteI had no idea this was necessary. That explains the low page hits. Thank you for pointing this out. My genius idea has been abandoned, and you'll find the link at/near the bottom of these comments.
DeleteGenius. Pure genius.
ReplyDeleteYup. How we wish he was still here.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI was actually referring to your concept. Genius.
DeleteThat's swell of you, but it's just an idea, which tend to stand out on music blogs.
DeleteWhen Swift Started it was peaudio . That is what I call too young children exploited. Lucky for her she did better than a lot of others. Her factory music is a loss for music lovers. I still play my Zappa regularly, listen, and transpose his words to modern days. It's over 30 years, he passed. And if he were alive today he'd be even older than Joe Biden. That much for Zappa (if he'd be alive) for president. My guess. Not many enough listened to him then, no one who'd listen now.
ReplyDeleteThank you for bringing this most poingant artist up again. Frank Zappa For God
Found Lumpy Gravy rather ..erm .. challenging on first listen .. but slowly ..repeated listens and listening to more of Frank's music it grew on me!! Incidentally I was at the Rainbow show where he got pushed into the orchestra pit!!
ReplyDeleteWow! Kudos!
DeleteNever knew anybody who was there when Frank got pushed off the stage. Thanks Steve. I liked Lumpy Gravy from first listen. Also Weasels Ripped My Flesh. Grand Wazoo took a while, but learned to love it.
Deletewe had tickets for the second show.
DeleteAnd you offloaded them in the street at 500% to Japanese tourists who thought they were for Billy Joel. Ticketmaster is your fault.
DeleteI just turned up!!! I'd heard there were a limited number of standing tickets being sold on the door!! First come, first served!! I got lucky!! The end was very confusing .. but everyone left quietly ... except for the villain of the night .. who, I think got a little roughed up!!
DeleteI'm aware of 3 versions: The original all-orchestra "ballet" for Capitol (I think was only briefly released on 8-track & then recalled), this version that he re-edited for Verve and the revisited version with replaced bass & drums & a few other edits. Am I missing any other versions? They are all worth repeated listening for sure!
ReplyDeleteOK--- I'll download the link & check it out to be sure...
DeleteThere may be stuff on the "instrumental" file you don't have - I can't remember where I scarfed that one up.
DeleteI've got the Lumpy/Money stuff too, don't remember some of these... Can't have too much FZ!
Deletehttps://www.discogs.com/release/5797422-Francis-Vincent-Zappa-Conducts-The-Abnuceals-Emuukha-Electric-Orchestra-Chorus-Lumpy-Gravy
DeleteIncluded in the doenload as "Lumpy Gravy Primordial" and the first nine tracks of the Lumpy Money set, although the timings are slightly different.
Delete"One other observation: the intro to 'I Sink Trap' is different on this release compared to the same track on 'Lumpy Money.' Here it is identical to the start of 'VII Foamy Soaky' (an arrangement of 'King Kong'). On 'Lumpy Money' it's a spoken intro with a short burst of percussion.
DeletePresumably this means they used a different master (safety?) tape. See here for a description of the two versions of the Capitol cartridge release:
http://globalia.net/donlope/fz/misc/Lumpy_Gravy.html "
Whenever I am faced with a dilemma or a bit of global assholery, I like to ask myself, "What would Frank Zappa say?". He reliably guides one wisely.
ReplyDeleteAside from everything else - his compositional, production, and arrangement talents, his sometimes questionable humour, his ability to lead bands and command respect etc. etc. - he played guitar like a motherfucker. He could have made a career out of just that. His solos are always extraordinary. The earliest example was Grunion Run, where he set out his stall. No-one else, I think, was in his tree.
DeleteIronically I cannot think of anything much that is more pale and stale, albeit not male, than the pre-fabricated pop mulch produced by Ms Taylor. Vacuous music for a Vacant Generation.
ReplyDeleteIts my first time listening to lumpy gravy (onto the second version now) and indeed it does have thought provoking qualities but I can't say either version will regularly hit my turntable even if it is listenable unlike most of Ms Taylor's sludge. Its one of those creations that should be savoured only periodically. I do wonder whether it was used as a soundtrack to one of those avant garde dance shows so popular in the 50's and 60's or the soundtrack to some dramatic 60's crime drama / film? Anyway well worth the posting and well worth a listen. Thanks Farq.
I’ve been doing some more ‘in depth research’ on behalf of The IoF. Taylor Swift was recently mentioned here, well I’ve not knowingly heard anything by her, but an opportunity arrived yesterday, my friend had been given a bag of unwanted CDs including a TS album from 2014 called ‘1989 D.L.X.’. I’ve just played it (the first four tracks anyway) and can report it is relatively inoffensive, all four songs sounded ‘familiar’, in the way that much modern pop music all sounds the same to these jaded old ears, and I didn’t shout “this is shit!”.
DeleteSo this is Bambi reporting from the frontline of YPOT music and can report that maybe it’s not as bad as I thought would be. I hope this has been informative. Next up Miley Cyrus, Breakout, so you don’t have to.
I can't work up enough feeling about her music to dislike it. It's good that young girls have her as a role model (I suppose) and it's good that they have their own music. It's The Swiftie Dads I find disturbing. Would I have appreciated my parents coming to see Pink Floyd with me? Listening enthusiastically to Are You Experienced on the home hi-fi? Wearing a Frank Zappa t-shirt? Rhetorical questions. Kids should have their own music, and if it challenges their parents in some way that's good and healthy and part of defining yourself as you grow up. Hey, Swiftie Dads! Leave the kids alone!
DeleteThe familiarity of her music to older listeners is part of a relatively new phenom. My mum and dad had heard nothing like (say) Soft Machine, and dismissed it as unlistenable noise. Turn that down/off! Today's warm, fuzzy parents listen to their kids' music and say "that's nice!" while their comforting familiarity buttons are pushed. Pop has lost its power to shock, to sound like noise, to be new in any sense.
Reading this comment will save you the trouble of reading a TL-DR piece I'm "prepping" on Cultural Recursion™.
The piano people rule!
ReplyDeleteOne of the Piano People was Mystery Lepidopterist "Spider" Barbour, creative subgenius behind the awesome Chrysalis, whose album I was convinced existed on th' IoF© but can't now find. It'll have its own piece, because awesomeness.
ReplyDelete