August Darnell - The Suit Is Zoot And The Pants Ain't Nuthin' But Pleat

August struts his stuff at th' IoF© Tiki Disco, last nite!

The Great Pleat Wars were dark times on th' Iof©. There was hatred. Contumely and rancor. Guys what was once pals turned on each other like feral dogs. It all started *FX HARP GLISSANDO* back when I defended Mike - he's always Mike to me - Nesmith's sartorial stragedy for the covers of Perfect Ten Infinite Rider On The Big Dogma, and The Newer Stuff. He sported a gentlemanly trouser, correctly pleated and supported by an elegant narrow belt, teamed with a wifebeater vest. Okay, I lied about the vest. But that would have elicited more muted passions from th' 4/5g© than the casual slax. The pleat, it seemed, was a crime only slightly less grievous than torching orphanages.

So - welcome, please, the Panjandrum Of Pleat, August Darnell! I can do two things at this point; rewrite extracts from his wiki page to make it seem I'm a fount of knowledge, or post a link to that page. Both seem too labor-intensive, so I'm opting for the third thing - leave the research to you lazy-ass bums. It's worth a couple of minutes of your precious time. Go ahead and soak your feet instead, if that's what you want to do, ya slob.

Under-vaunted quasi-genius? Probably. He threw everything into a Hell's Kitchen cauldron and whipped up a funky spicy stew with global appeal - the guy had hits. Plus! There was a Homeric concept behind the albums that makes Wagner look like the clueless hack he was; the epic search for lost Mimi ("me me") and the adventures he encountered traveling through a mythic land (New York). So - mind-boggling literacy, tunes out th' ass, and an utterly contemporary sound that owed as much to Cab Calloway as ska, disco, reggae, and funk.

For the sake of transparency, I should point out that slax (and polo shirts, and deck shoes, and white sox) have always repelled me; I have never knowingly rocked a pleated pant. But I defend the right of those whose sartorial preferences lean that way. We are a broad church, it is not for us to judge, and I urge restraint from commenters lest needless offence be caused. Thank you.

TH' SID SLAW SURVEY™

PLEASE TAKE A FEW SECONDS TO COMPLETE THIS SURVEY! YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US!

- Did you read the entire piece? #Y for yes, #N for no.

- Are you reading this right now? #Y yes, #N no.

- Would you like to see more content about tailoring details? #Y yes, #N no.

Score ten points for each YES answer, and minus 1,239.37 for each NO. If you scored TEN or more, let us know in the comments! You may be entitled to a grand *THREE ALBUM* freeload!! OBOY!!