Saturday, July 6, 2024

Trash Panda "Disappointed" By Lack Of Critters On IoF©

 

Milty Trash Panda, yesterday

Trash Panda Fact Sheet!

Fact! The name "Racoon" derives from Native American Powhatan words meaning "animal what scratches hisself wit' his mitts."

Fact! Christopher Columbus was the first European to write about it, describing it as "a small tree or shrub, growing close to the ground". He also thought he was in India.

Th' IoF© played host recently to a contingent of Trash Pandas seeking to establish an offshore trash haven. After a quick tour of the Blessed Isle®, Milty, group leader, evinced disappointment with the lack of fauna biodiversity. "Sure, plenty of babes in bikinis and dead rock musicians, but we'd be like the only critters here?"

I was quick to point out the advantages of the situation: no competition for the trash, and no predators. The group went into a huddle, muttering, gesticulating, and eventually nodding in enthusiastic agreement. Milty turned and approached me where I was enjoying a poolside toxin flush administered by Kreemé [left - eighteen my ass - Ed.].

"Looks like we gots new digs, Farq! And hey - which we brung yez some vinyl, on account which we ate the sleeves awready, bein' famished on the way over."

Fabulous False Memory Foam Island© is delighted to welcome its new resident rodents, all of whom have been issued with IoF© Official Passports and a set of commemorative coasters.

Now comes the fun part! Can you guess with what albums they presented me with, what? The Lucky Winner will receive all three albums by this none-more-IoF© combo! Join in the merriment in the comments, or go fuck yerself, ya miserable whining sumbitch!

EDIT: Crab Devil pierced the fog of ignorance with his intuitive aperçu, grokking that Noo Joysey combo The Critters was the combo cryptically alluded to in the piece. Like right there in the title, duh. Since only he is permitted to use the download link, here's what the rest of youse bums is missing:


Enhanced, expanded edition of their pop-perfect first album


Second album, conveniently placed chronologically between the first and the third, benefiting from brain-kneading Enoch Light studio facilities


Third album, full of ambition, again on Project 3

 







This post sponsored by Polly n' Esther's Polyester Pants Paradise®, Crotch County, UT.

22 comments:

  1. Clews a-plenty in what the Young People are calling "the OP".

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  2. Mothers of Invention - Weasels Ate My Flesh. I'll see myself out the door.......

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    Replies
    1. Excellent! Wrong, too. But thank you for keeping the internet lights on.

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  3. Replies
    1. Have you checked your meds, Bremble? Would you do that for me now?

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    2. To be fair, Bremble, you spotted a nice graphic connection with the back cover of BWS, but it's nowhere near the answer, so it's still the Trapdoor Of Shame for you.

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  4. one of them has got to be JJ Cale Naturally

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    1. Of course! "Raccoon, you sweet thing, you're driving me mad...."

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  5. The photo above reminded me of a Mother of Invention album photo, so before looking at the comments that was going to be my guess too.

    Great too see there is still something on the internet though. While I try to come up with another guess, I’m going to look very hard at that AI generated photo of Kreemé [left - eighteen my ass - Ed]…
    …Oh boy, while gazing innocently at that photo I see she’s changed age, Eighteen… could that be the clew? Is the answer the last three Alice Cooper albums? No, how about the first three then? Why yes indeedie, Polly n' Esther's Polyester Pants Paradise®, were the suppliers if the panties for the original vinyl School’s Out record cover, I must be right.

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  6. To repeat myself (it's the onions): "all three albums by this none-more-IoF© combo!"
    This should make it obvious to even the meanest intelligence that there are three albums by the same group, and three albums is what they recorded before splitting up. This would seem to rule out Frank Zappa and JJ Cale. But here's another clew for yew all: the name of the group is cunningly embedded in the screed. Please help keep the internet alive until Babs gets back by hazarding a guess!

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  7. What's that you say? Phone call for the meanest intelligence? Cunningly embedded? Well, it's just got to be The Critters.

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    1. Crab Devil proves himself worthy of our fealty by correctly scrying the answer. For those of you who took part but didn't win, it's important to remember that you DID YOUR BEST. And you lost. Because your best was simply not good enough. There are no participation awards here, you are all in effect Liz Truss in the General Election of Life. And because only Crab Devil has the guts, the smarts, the moxie, spunk and pep to mount the Winner's Podium, holding aloft the fine-quality compressed music files, encapsulated in Champagne-finish Lucite™ that constitute this prestigious heirloom award.

      It's worth researching this fine, fine group, and noting their transition from the candiest of candyfloss teen pop to the psych-pop wonderment of their eponymous third album. Also of note - the state-of-the-art stereo enabled by Enoch Light.

      I'll upload these after I rinse th' hens.

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    2. As someone who often despairs at many male politicians, I must admit I shouted “Fuck Yessssss!” and other even worse expletives when that awful woman lost her seat on Friday morning (UK time). Actually thinking about it most Conservative ministers are east to dislike, male or female, but she was top of my hate list.

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    3. the above comment was about Liz Truss ex PM of UK, who was also a fuckwit. Look her up if you are outside of the UK and missed her time as PM, she only lasted six weeks.

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  8. Here, for Crab Devil, and Crab Devil only, is the portal to pop perfection:
    https://workupload.com/file/sAXbEcCbun8

    The pathetic pikers seeking to profit from Mr. Devil's perspicacity will suffer TH' CURSE O' FOAM© (*queasy Farfisa doom chord*), today manifest as a mild yet noticeable Tardigrade infestation in the right nostril.

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    1. I think everything's o.k. now -- I swooped in and picked up the download before anybody noticed a thing! So (as some of us would have said in a previous life) ta.

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  9. Here's a thing. My right nostril was playing up something rotten tonight. And that was actually before I sneakily downloaded Crab Devil's prize. Them FOAM CURSES be mighty powerful. Even thinking bad things set's 'em off. Scratches. Again.

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    1. Those who scoff at TH' CURSE O"FOAM® do so at their own peril. Those who laugh at the QUEASY FARFISA DOOM CHORD and continue to click where it has been forbidden to click will rue the day they chose to ignore the Elder Gods who dwell beyond the dimensions we know!!!!

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    2. Oh prithee, I must confess which I not often do, that I also downloaded Crabdevils coveted and rightly one favor of todays joust and immediately broke out in hives. NP = Poison Ivy stones version. It's 118 real feel 124 and this is day 10 ... nothing like Krung Thep I'm sure.

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    3. I'm a long way from Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit, and thank Buddha it's the Rainy Season. Sit out on the deck and listen to the birds and watch the clouds.

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  10. And here I thought it was all those fillers in the pharmaceuticals causing those nasty nasal issues when all along it was TH' CURSE O"FOAM® acting proactively on my ass -- powerful indeed!

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    Replies
    1. You have a serious rectum/septum conflation issue and I urge you to see a specialist.

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