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| Foam-O-Graph© - Visual solutions to problems nobody is having |
You'll know T.V.'s "Milquetoast" Mulcahy from the hit C.B.S. show AfterMASH, where he was part of a motley crew of renegados kicking Rommel's Nazi ass in the desert! But did you know he's also a big "country rock" fan?! Turns out the irritating, wet-cheeked marsupial has heard many a country rock band in his inflatable confessional, now moored off Fabulous False Memory Foam Island©!
FT3 So, Padre, why are you always so goddamn smug?
FM Bless you, my child, for-
FT3 Bless me? Bless me?! Fuck you!
FM The Lord sayeth-
FT3 The Lord can chew my balloon knot. You are easily the most punchable character in a sitcom, like, ever. With Hawkeye Pierce a close second. Him and his fake smile and his fake laff - which is the same as his fake smile only with his jaw dropped. I tell you, only Frank and Hotlips were worth a damn in that show. Maybe Henry.
FM We each of us have our part to-
FT3 Tell ya what, Monsignor, you just paddle that inflatable confessional outta here. G'wan, amscray!
FM Do you want the albums?
FT3 Albums? Oh, sure. Thanks, I guess ...
FM So ... who would come in third?
FT3 Third? Oh. Roseanne Barr.
FM (shudders) Even I'd punch her. Right in her fat neck.
FT3 Fancy a daquiri?
FM Served by Kreemé?
"So what's all dis levity to me, bub?" you ax, in that adenoidal whine of yours. Well, if you can identify who's confessin' their country rock peccadillos in the above Foam-O-Graph©, you will qualify for TWO of their swell long-playin' L.P.s, that's what!
Don't forget, fight fans - leave clew or allusive hint as to identity of country rock combo! Don't name directly!
This Old School Foam-O-Graph© post made possible thru funding from th' Acme Veeblefetzer Corp., Pork Bend, WIS. A tip o' th' po' boy cap to CEO Smurdley Z. Kowzcnofski!
Least favorite sitcom character?
ReplyDeleteI heard these guys are pretty super and they have a certain sense of musical cadence.
ReplyDeleteYay! OBG shoots, he scores!
DeleteI'm pretty certain that Scott Baio is the anti-christ. Um....but as this is the internet, I would prefer to say that in unhinged, ready to go on a rampage "All Caps:" SCOTT BAIO IS THE ANTIHRICST!!! :)
ReplyDeleteHe used to head up the Scotty Baio Combo at the Rhumba Room on the Strip.
DeleteOoh, a guessing game on the internet - I've never really done this kind of thing before, maybe once or twice, so my clue is astounding.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I have a least favourite sitcom character. Sorry.
Cheers, Peanuts Molloy.
I am a tiny bit disappointed that you have overlooked my lyrical clue quizmaster. Does that mean I'm not in the hat to draw the prize? I so wanted to have a chance to win a prize.
DeleteCheers anyway, Peanuts Molloy.
I'm still trying to process your not having a least favorite sitcom character.
DeleteFair enough, I'll give it some thought
Delete.
Right, I've given it some thought and it's Miranda. The whole programme and anyone who's in it. All of them, take your pick.
Hope that helps and it would be AMAZING if I'm now in the prize draw.
Cheers again, Peanuts Molloy.
Thank you for your participation. You are indeed in the prize draw.
DeleteSo? Don't care.
DeleteIf I win, draw it again.
PM
You are a very strange person.
DeleteFor the record, your clue is awesome - I've had to read it twice to get it. That's some monkey business right there, hoss. And I'm glad you didn't misspell anything...
DeleteIt's pretty third rate, you ax me.
DeleteDude, don't be so anti-romantic about it...
DeleteGreat song tho', isn't it?
DeleteI believe Jesse Winchester recorded it before the ARAs as Russell Smith was in his band and contributed a coupla songs to his "learn to love it" album. Amos Garrett was on there too. All good.
https://youtu.be/tTl_bEsBK6Y
Cheers, Peanuts "Very Strange Person" Molloy.
The Awesome Tempo Clubs
ReplyDeleteLeast favorite sitcom character?
Ross Geller from "Friends".
Sharp play from Babs. Ross Geller... yeuuch.
DeleteI couldn't think of one either...but that's pretty much your GOAT for worst sitcom character right there. I'm thinking his spiritual sucessor, Ted Moseby from How I Met Your Mother is also in the race.
DeleteOh, and I only watched, like three and a half episodes, but would it be faior to say that the entire character line up of "The Big Bang Thoery" sucks ass?
Least fave would be Warden Hodges from Dad's Army. Least favourite as in I quite like him really as he was so important a figure to many of the jokes. Least favourite sitcom would be Friends - what an absolute pile of jobbies. Middle-class white people playing hard done by.
ReplyDeleteIs Dad's Army known anywhere outside the U. K.?
DeleteIn the 90s, a PBS station out on Long Island ran "Britcoms" on Friday nights. Dad's Army was one of them.
DeleteBritcoms are mostly about depression and failure. Dad's Army is an exception.
DeleteMy favorite was 'Allo 'Allo!
DeleteThat's probably my favorite too. Stereotyped to the max. Swell tomatoes, boffo gags, and not a trace of seriousness or insight or acting or worthiness.
DeleteAll that and more with Hi de hi!
DeleteI'm not a fan of sitcoms in general - in fact, I studiously avoid them. I'll watch "Dad's Army" though. The scripts are witty and the acting first class.
DeleteI prefer a sketch-based show - "The Fast Show", for example. Did that ever make it over to the US?
I still watch the occasional Dads Army and it makes me laugh, as you say Warden Hodges was important for so many set-ups.
DeleteMASH, I used to love when I was a kid, but having seen some episodes recently, it's just not funny (and the laughter track really ruins it).
Least favorite character is Delboy from Only Fools and Horses, sorry I know that show is loved by many, just not me. I have the same problem with Brent from The Office. My bad.
Has anyone tried to watch the Persuaders recently? I loved it as a kid, never again, sticks really badly.
MASH just went on for far too long. Ditto Only Fools. That's the problem with entertainment in general. No one knows when to call it a day.
DeleteDo we really need that Die Hard sequel, Clapton's next album and Stephen King's next book?
Only if it steals from Farq again so we can call for his head on a pike!
DeleteI just heard from Stephen KIng's publisher - he says he never heard of the book and hasn't read it. I replied with" "He would say that, wouldn't he?"
DeleteHave you had any/much comment from people on social media, about the similarities between your book, and the proposed SK film adaptation of his version of your book?
DeleteLeast favorite sitcom character: Mr. Haney from Green Acres.
ReplyDeleteBand hint: The band members all wear tuxedos, carry canes and have eyeballs for heads.
Please hold, your call is important to us.
DeleteLeast favorite? Larry the neighbor from "Three's Company". lol
ReplyDeleteDid you know the father mulcahy actor was a marine buddy on "Gomer Pyle USMC"?
We're here to learn.
DeleteTerry
ReplyDeleteAnd as you're asking
June
Good call.
DeleteDamn - did I miss, Ms. Kreeme? I put a drink order in days ago...
ReplyDeleteReggie's son in The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin.
ReplyDeleteAnd his beard
Not a clue.
ReplyDeleteProbably some second rate band.
Ooooooookaaaayyyyyyyy! I've run the competition entries thru th' Foamgorithm®, and the inner is ... eenvelope, please, Kreemé ... always a tense moment ... hope you folks at home are excited to know the winner, I know I am ... [DRUM ROLL] ... the winner is ... PEANUTS MOLLOY! [APPLAUSE] You out there, Peanuts? Oh - wait a second - [PUTS FINGER TO EARPIECE] - I have a ... apparently Peanuts has refused to accept the award! [GASPS] So ... I'll just present the award to FIELD HIPPY [BOOING FROM AUDIENCE] because he recognised The Residents, and [DUCKS BOTTLE] ... I'm audi ... enjoy the albums! [CHAIR THROWN AT PODIUM]
ReplyDeleteHooray. I am the Inner, it says up there.
DeleteWow. I woulda worn / displayed / eaten / recalibrated whatever The Prize is / was / could be if only, ah, if only I hadn't had that rash moment of recalcitrance when I suddenly realised I was once again just adding info to the Isle's data bank.
Oh well.
Cheers, Peanuts Molloy.
Not just a "data bank". That's sooo yesterday - what would I do with that? What's happening here is virtual cloning; each of th' 4 or 5 Guys© is contributing to his/her FoamForm© which will eventually take the place of their physical form. Kind of like what Zuckerburger is trying to do with Meta, only far more advanced. One day you'll wake up on Fabulous False Memory Foam Island® with a bunch of old records and people you thought were dead, and this life (the one you think you're living right now as you think you're reading this) will be like a false memory of an old T.V. show.
DeleteOk, you shoulda said earlier. I'm in.
DeleteI believe I'm Guy© No 6 or 7, maybe a little late to the party but ready to go. Are you The Man in charge? Your oily overalls and impressive multi wrench suggest you know your way around the virtual cloning chamber. Let's hope so.
Now, when I pop out at the Island® pod bank please ensure that I am less chubby, more richer, handsomer and - pay attention here - in the adjacent pod to Susanna Hoffs.
I'm thinking I will need a spray can of "Lynx Babe Allure" to hand as back up in case you fail with my reasonable instructions.
Right. I've said cheerio to my wife, got a Boots Meal Deal for the journey, here we go . . .
Cheers, FoamForm© Molloy.
The term "Four Or Five Guys©" is not quantitative, but qualitative. Anyone who shows up here is by definition a 4/5G©.
DeleteLink
ReplyDeleteThis competition is rigged, like those damn last elections I tell you. Stop the steal, farq, stop the steal!
ReplyDeleteI don't make the rules.
DeleteYes, you do.
DeleteHe got you there, Farq.
DeleteNo, he didn't. My Rule #1 is "I don't make the rules". Rule #B is The Unwritten Rule.
DeleteClarence Pune told me, that Rule #A is: "No Poofters!!"
DeleteDon't you listen to Clarence, Babs.
DeleteNow you tell me!
Deleteeveryone in My Little Margie. except Mrs. Odetts.
ReplyDeletePublic Service Announcement
ReplyDeleteFarq, I just spent half the day grading students' work while listening to the recently re-foam-featured Alpha Band.
Very good listen, those first two albums (while number three with its longer grooves and Reborn Christian-lyrics is a lot harder to get into)
BUT
man, the guy who uploaded the albums that you made available had the hearing of old Beethoven and the viusual acumen of young Stevie Wonder, when he transferred their first album to digital.
The last five seconds of opener "Interviews" open the second track, "Cheap Perfume", which itself loses half of its own running time, as that is starting track number three.
So that's three fucked up tracks, plus a bunch of vinyl crackle.
Toutube E-procurement led me to a version of their debut album with all tracks intact and correct and fine fidelity. Same for Spark in the Dark, though I saw later that only the opener had some vinyl crackle.
Anyhoo, you (and possibly some other four or five guys) should upgrade to this, because the version of the first album you have is FUBARed.
https://workupload.com/archive/YPJpxCKn
You're welcome.
End of service announcement.
So, is this still a vinyl rip? It came out on CD in 1995 in Japan. I have a copy of it if it's of interest.
DeleteOne Buck Guy - If I were you, I'd ask for a refund.
DeleteI wasn't there I didn't do it and it wasn't me (S. King)
DeleteNope it's not. Unless of course you insist on vinyl crackle for...ahem..authenticity.
DeleteThe third album is the weird one. I hated the preachiness, made me feel uncomfortable, but now it's an essential part of the music, and I appreciate the edge without being cut by it. It's ranting and railing against The Statue Makers Of Hollywood - the celebrities at the Oscar ceremony - and they deserve it. Hollywood Babylon.
DeleteI guess "getting used to it" is about the best that album can do, but it's quite a come down from the good times of the first two platters. I don't necessarily need to hear about the lamb, the messiah and salvation from those dudes. If Judee Sill is subtle in her Christian imagery compared to your stuff, well...As for rock stars calling out film stars for their excesses...well, I dunno, pot kettle black stuff...especially from those dudes.I'm sure there was not a single drug used or promiscuous adventure to be had during the Rolling Thunder tour...really...yeah...uh...no thanks.
DeleteYou and just about everybody else. Me, I'm critically equipped to deal with sentiments I don't feel sympathy for, and judging rock stars for drug use and promiscuity would be a pot/kettle situation. The album's strange and adventurous and I like the music.
DeleteI listen to a lot of reggae. Lots of things in the Rastafarian strain thereof I disagree with: Haile Selassie is not the Living Incarnation of God, marijuana is not, pork is deliciious, etc. I also listen to gospel. Don't mind songs about drugs even though I'd advise against addiction as a lifestyle.
DeleteIf you put the musicians you listen to through some sort of morality filter, I wonder how many would emerge as morally "pure"? My guess is not very many at all.
DeleteIn many cases, it's their faults that have shaped them and their music.
Ditto for all branches of the creative arts.
Oh, easy now. "Me, I'm critically equipped to deal with sentiments I don't feel sympathy for". There's a bunch of musicians I listen to whose world views or ways of expressing them. Like draftervoi's Reggae example, I spent the last week listening to a lot of hip hop, including a bunch of gangster rap. Do I agree with these guys threatening murder or calling every woman a bitch? Do I condone it or enthusiastically embrace it? No, I don't. So don't go all "I can disassociate but y'all can't". But the whole "it's the music, not the musician" deal is arguably, or at least in my case, more difficult to swallow when the musician's come to preach. In hip-hop it's at least way easier to accept that part of that is persona. And you know, other reborn Christians like Roger McGuinn or Richie Furay went easy on the fire and brimstone stuff and mostly dwelt in sappy love songs.
DeletePS: So anyone up for some hip hop around here?
DeleteCome now, OBG! I wasn't getting all "I can disassociate but y'all can't" on yo' ass. The reggae similarity had occurred to me; that can get pretty damn preachy. There used to be bible-thumping Jehova's witnesses preaching at the damned on Soi Sii in Bangkok, the hookers and the johns in a seething mass around them, absolutely untouched by their hectoring and judgement, and that's how I feel about preaching (and preachers) - I'm uninvolved. But if there's some swell music happening, I can dig it, man. I'd rather be preached at than exhorted to pop a cap in the ass of my bitch, though. There's a hip-hop hopportunity for you back there somewhere (the search field is your ticket) - add to it at your leisure. I doubt I'll write another.
Least favorite sitcom character: Tucker Carlson
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous - Well played Sir/Madame.
DeleteDear One Buck Guy - Can I get you a glass of ice water, and 2 mg of Alprazolam?
ReplyDeleteI'll have a glass of cold gravy, with a hair in it, please.
DeleteComing right up! You want fries with that?
DeleteChef wants to know: scalp or public?
DeletePublic, please - I have nothing to hide.
DeleteDamn You Auto Correct!
DeleteNo thanks, I'm good, gravy or otherwise. Thank god I can disassociate, if not I would've countered that offer with threats of bustin' a cap in yo ass with my fo'fo'.
DeleteI guess I go listen to some peaceful Christian music now to peace out...