 |
| Arts copyright False Memory Foam™ Art Department O'Art© Dept. |
Arnold Bax is this Brit what wrote big violin music for them bands what need a stiff in a tux pointin' at them wit' a stick. Currently holed up in a palm-leaf hut on th' IoF© to avoid his creditors, Arnie and me chatted poolside whilst [grammar - Ed.] Rholonne Déodoranté served crispy hens' knees on a bed of surgery waste [Kreemé is currently interning for Bob Dylan - Ed.]
 |
| Rholonne Déodoranté |
FT3 So tell us for why you got into this longhair music, Arnie!
AB Duh. To get laid. Why does any guy go into the music business?
FT3 Did it work?
AB Oh sure. Dames fall for that suffering artiste shit, like you wouldn't believe.
FT3 How did you come to write that First Symphony album?
AB I wanted to write a Fifth, like that one Beethoven guy, so I had to start somewhere.
FT3 Talk us through the composition process, Arnie!
AB What? I don't know. I just sit there with like a big book of pages with like lines on them, and I put these little dots in? Then some dame sashays in wit' her robe open and drapes herself across me lap and I gets distracted. Then after I have taken her roughly across the piano stool I casts her aside like a dog race ticket. I stand there pushin' me fingers thru me hair sayin' how is the artiste to compose when dames such as like you put temptation in me way? She's hanging on to me ankles and I'm dragging her across the floor.
FT3 This really happens?
AB You kiddin'? You're dumber than you look. Composin' snob music for posh twats is no way to pick up dames. I shoulda bin in them Rolling Stones. They do all right.
This post approved by Velda Sputnik for the Commies Code Authority©
You want Arnie's first album? It's pretty good as first albums go.
ReplyDeleteWhat classic-type albums do you lissen to?
Tons of Tchaikovsky (Nutcracker, Swan Lake) since Ms Pmac was in companies that danced to them, Bernstein (West Side Story and Rhapsody in Blue) and always a sucker for deBussy.
ReplyDeleteCareful how you spell that last one pmac, especially with your NOLA accent...
ReplyDeleteMyself, I'm a sucker for Bee's 9th--what can I say--and oddly fond of Wynton Marsalis' Baroque Music for Trumpets, which feels like an homage to my father, who loved trumpet music of lit-er-al-ly any stripe but had a fondness for baroque trumpet music (and Ziggy Ellman...?). One of the best moments of my youngish life (21) was having a Saturday midnigh-6A show on WRKF, BRLA's public radio station and fighting one of it's founders and directors, Constance Navratil (and her ridiculous "Britlish" accent), about playing the music I played. I had been hired to sit out in their literally and figuratively ratty trailer studio to play tapes of some classical crap and figured out nobody cared if instead I played punk/new wave/whateverthehellIwanted and I did. Constance was not amused, but I had increased listeners from like 3 to, I dunno, 37. So a meeting was called--after she called and whined to my mother, mind you, essentially about how poorly I'd been raised--for me to "explain myself." My explanation, as I remember it, was that Vivaldi's The Four Seasons (Summer - 3rd Movement), Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King, Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, and Prokofiev's Toccata in C Minor were the basis of rock & roll. Props to my parents, who pulled that bullshit out for me. Constance was beside herself, the station admins loved it, and for the rest of that summer my show rocked & rolled on...
When I was growing up back in the 1950s-60s, my parents had an actual LP collection, including some serious classical music. As I got more acclimated to this sort of thing, Stravinsky's Firebird got to be my favorite of the lot.
ReplyDeleteOne day they brought home another album by that Stravinsky guy, which I checked out the next time they left me alone with the record player. I was maybe eight then. I wasn't ready for it at all-- it scared the bejesus out of me, to the point where I actually hid behind the sofa. Of course, it was the Rite of Spring. Took me a year or two before I could really wrap my ears around it. Now of course it's a great favorite, but now I also listen to the likes of Messiaen and Subotnick and Fred Frith.