Th' IoF© has played host to many glamorously international stars, but a visit from all four surviving Beatles yesterday came as a surprise! They waxed loquacious anent their controversial last long-playing record album, Thirty Minutes On Abbey Road whilst Kreemé [eighteen my ass - Ed.] served signature dumpster run-off and turtle-dick smoothies, poolside!
FT3 Well, it's fab gear to have you here, lads! Swingin'! Tell us about this new album!
PM Our best-selling album since Pepper.
GH Our only album since Pepper.
PM But anyway, I thought -
GH We all thought, actually.
JL You know, let's get together as a band one last time.
PM Make a proper new studio album.A Beatles album.
FT3 But there were problems with the material?
GH Paul forgot how to write songs, basically.
PM Hey, just fuck off, George, alright?
JL Maxwell's Silver Hammer? Worst. Song. Ever.
RS I liked it.
GH Playing that gave me sciatica.
PM John's love song to heroin had to go, like, first.
JL It was about Yoko.
PM Heroin, Yoko ... same thing.
GH And that fake 'fifties thing, whatever that was. A parody or something?
JL Oh! Darling? Oh shit, more like.
PM And Ringo's song, because if Maxwell's Silver Hammer was cut, well, no disrespect Ringo, but you should have kept that one aside. For kids' parties.
RS I liked it.
JL Nobody else feckin' did.
FT3 So that was like, half the album got voted out?
GH The only reason Old Brown Shoe isn't on it is because it would have made the album look like a George Harrison album.
JL Apart from Come Together, it's just bits and pieces.
PM It's a suite. A suite. It works really, really, well. So shut up.
JL You feckin' shut yer gob yer feckin' gobshite.
RS Guys! Guys!
[sounds of scuffling, breaking glass etc.]
... and here's "anonymous'" prize for getting the right answer:
Okay, why a picture of Everest?
ReplyDeleteEverest was one of the working titles for the album.
ReplyDeleteSee, you're really going to regret your "anonymous" thing because the prize is a dedicated album cover signed by all four surviving fabs! try hanging that on yer wall, "anonymous"!
Deleteit's a homage to Francys Arsentiev the Sleeping Beauty of Mount Everest
ReplyDeletethe second maybe third great love of Sir Paul's.
His problem was he could never find a satisfying ending lyric for "My Love Francys" Only my love holds the other key to me was as close as he could get so sadly he discarded it and eventually it found its way into a later attempted rewrite
Francys found this to be rather off putting she left Paul only to perish in one of the trash heaps that lay uncollected on Everest's summit
...woody
Cos it's very high and has lots of snow.. No idea really.
ReplyDeleteBut more importantly, in the intro you left out [19 my ass - Ed.] after Kreemé's name, and that's one of my favourite bits. Always causes a smile. Even at my age and after all the years here on the isle.
I put it in but it must have slipped out! [er ... Ed.] Let me slide it back in again.
DeleteEve-rest is that well known? why is it called ever-est?
ReplyDeleteIt's name after the Englishman who first discovered it, Sir Charles Ponsonby-Everest. The top three feet remain the Sovereign Property of the King of England.
Delete