That's What Iconic Classics I Hundred Call Top Must Hear Before Of All Time You Die One Greatest Jazzrock You - Ranked! Dept.

Th' bum what chose dis pitcher orta got his ticket punched! Jus' sayin'.

Let's get this Scientology stuff out of the way first, because if there's one predictable reaction to Stanley Clarke's name it's a knowing look and "Scientologist" muttered out of the corner of the mouth. The really strange thing about it is that he's been actively involved with the swivel-eyed loon cult since at least the early seventies, and yet the connection doesn't even get mentioned on his encyclopedic wikipedia page, nor in the exceptionally long and detailed allmusic biography. Skip Press, an anti-Scientology journalist, claims that Clarke had left the cult prior to 2013, but as he's been recording for Scientology Network TV (it exists) this year, it looks very much like he's permanently plumbed in to the e-meter.

Does it matter? Not much. People believe in all sorts of weird and irrational stuff, like the calendar, and money. Believing we're infested by gazillions of invisible space immigrants called thetans doesn't seem much more ridiculous than believing the Virgin Mary was a virgin. So let's move on!

Elron Hubbard, a third-rate science fiction writer, wanted to fuck Anton LaVey's wife [left - Ed], so invented Scientology to impress her. Most religions start along similar lines. LaVey features [or not - Ed.] on the back cover of Hotel California, contiguity fans!

Stan's first album as leader was the unlistenable space-warbling of Children Of Forever. Go ahead, prove me wrong. This self-titled monster [above, finally - Ed.] took everyone by surprise in '74. It's fair to say the impact it made was equally attributable to Tony Williams' merciless brain-fuck drumming. My head was still ringing from Billy Cobham and Harvey Mason when the clerk at Virgin Records cued up Lopsy Lu with an evil look in his eye. Six seconds in and I was throwing my Government Issue Beer Tokens across the counter. Take my money!

Stan made more successful albums than this, but not one that quite delivers the shock of the new like this one. We'd heard Williams before, but not defining "in the pocket" funk drumming like he does here. Add Bill Connors' tough-tone guitar, Jan Hammer on Jan Hammer, a surprise contribution from the great Mike Gibbs, a dash of Airto, and impeccable production from Ken Scott, and you have a timeless iconic classic that sounds daisy-fresh every play. Take my money!

 

This post made possible by the Virgin Records clerk, back when Virgin Records was funky and fabulous and they employed music mavens.