Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Cathedrals Of Sound Dept. - Tintern Abbey

Cover artwork © IoF Department Of Art Dept.


"Yebbut what exactly is psychedelic music, Farq?" is a question I get axed regliar down at the Psychedelic Psoup Kitchen on the cheesy side of th' IoF©, where cheap internet grifters and nogood bums jostle greedily at the steaming urns of our world famous Blotter Borscht™. "Glad you axed, oldtimer!" I chuckle indulgently. "Why, if ever there was a single 45rpm rekkid that distilled the very essence of psychedelia, it would be Beeside/Vacuum Cleaner by the Tintern Abbeys."

In spite of a vigorous press campaign and off-the-shelf artwork from hippie heavyweight Michael English [left - Ed.], the band never delivered the album they seemed to promise, and finished up doing cruise ship cabaret as - incredibly - "The Hit Parade Hamsters", dressing in hamster costumes and playing medleys of UK chart toppers such as Ob La Di, Tie A Yellow Ribbon, Mouldy Old Dough, and their rousing showstopper version of Ken Dodd's Happiness. It was far from the Psychedelic Experience, but the band has no regrets. "Are you kidding?" laughs lead singer Nigel Choppers, "We was paid for getting pissed out our fucking minds and shaggin' sweaty housewives from Chelmsford! Timothy Leary? Fuck off!"

The single has been the high point [oh very good - Ed.] of virtually every comp of UK psychedelia, and their scant later recordings scavenged for various hopeful releases, including the mis-titled Complete Recordings, which buries wobbly acetates of the single in a double cd of outtakes, unfinished and demo tracks.

Everything I have is in the loaddown, and it's a ragbag. Curate yer own collection - the task is beyond me.




This post sponsored by Poultry Pal™- "keepin' your hen happy since 1997!" - Crotchrot, AK.

22 comments:

  1. I'll loadup this when I've given it the kicking it requires. Until then, amuse yerselves by yelling at the traffic.

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  2. I yelled, but Steve never answered.

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  3. I'll be honest, my heart ain't in this. I thought I could *cough* curate some kind of listenable album out of the various available tracks, but it's hard work. Unless any of youse bums want me to continue with this thankless task, I think we'll move on. It's been a worthwhile exercise in a way, because they're a fine example of a one-hit wonder band who never had one hit. That single is all the more remarkable given what happened to the band afterwards (my piece isn't so very far from the truth). It's like Pink Floyd losing the plot entirely after Arnold Layne. Only that was a hit.

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  4. I already have Vacuum Cleaner, and presumably heard Beeside and passed on it, so I'm good if it's that much of a struggle to make it work. Let's keep it fun so you don't ditch the Isle, as you did recently.
    C in California

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  5. I don't know them, but you make me want to. Please at least unload the psingle on us.
    Cram

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  6. Seems a shame to waste such great cover art. How about an EP to go with it?

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  7. I visited the ruins of their namesake in the summer of 1973.

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    Replies
    1. We could well have passed each other. At this time I was heavily into all that ley line stuff, sacred geometry, John Michel ...

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    2. Too cool!
      I read Alfred Watkins' "The Old Straight Track" that summer.

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    3. "Pattern Of The Past" was another. A great field to explore (in both senses).

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  8. I like the subject & your handling of it. The cover is mighty fine. Gracias. - useo

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  9. Curate yer own collection! Not sure there's an album's worth, but it'll save me the trouble:

    https://workupload.com/file/hvnWJEMNMJ3

    And hike the internet ley line to here:

    http://galacticramble.blogspot.com/search/label/Tintern%20Abbey

    for a splendid article on the band. Which doesn't mention heroin anywhere, but I reckon that's what did for their creativity ("fix me up with your sweet dose" is not a marijuana term).

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    Replies
    1. Surely it IS a marijuana term, as everyone -- EVERYONE -- knows that all marijuana is purchased from that sketchy cat in Suite 2 (Suite Dos, which you mis-heard as 'sweet dose') of the local flophouse. Your naivete is charming.
      C in California

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    2. (as Walther Matthau's foppish prince in The Great Race) "Bwavo! Oh, bwavo!"

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    3. Matthau? Are you checking if I'm awake?

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    4. Your version of the band's later history is much more interesting than the article. Alas, the article means we should give up hope of ever finding a bootleg video of the Hit Parade Hamsters.

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    5. (The Great Race) Tony Curtis or Walter Matthau?

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    6. Here's my attempt at making a decent album out of the available material:

      https://workupload.com/file/tXM5DwB7mMS

      It's not perfect, but I've heard about a million worse psychedelic rock albums. It weighs in at 36 minutes, which is about right for an album of that time.

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    7. I shall give it a spin on th' RCA Consolette. Thank you for your service.

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