The latest in our series of Grammy-deserving ... For Girls! archival releases (coming after Captain Beefheart ... For Girls! and King Crimson ... For Girls!) is this swell curation [uh-oh - Ed.] of early pastoral studies from the Careful With That Axe Eugene hitmakers! Culled from my favorite Floyd stretch (foot heavily on the brakes before we hit Dark Side), it's a swoonsome suite of melodic, gentle, and sometimes sappy musical tunes that'll get your main twist in the mood for moist!
Let's be honest - no dame is going to sit through Animals or The Final Cut without she ate a fistful of roofies. Unlike you, she has better things to do. But this fragrant nosegay of melody, clocking in at a realistic thirty-five minutes, may convince her you're a sensitive, bookish-type guy! Get some rubbers and pop a breath mint - or get some poppers and rub a breath mint - and you'll be drainin' down your Thermic Lance of Love in her Pink Chalice of Courtly Romance before you can say whoopsie!
Here's what some of th' Four Or Five Guys© are sayin' about this swell series!
"Gee whiz! I played King Crimson ... For Girls! at my old lady an' she came across like th' Staten Island Ferry!" - Corky Crabtickler, Hackensack NY.
"Bless you! Captain Beefheart ... For Girls! has increased my disciplinary authority here at St. Menses Home For Unruly Girls!" - Sister Peculiar, Beaverville DE.
"★★★★ I HAV OVER 37 CDS IN COLECCTION MY FREINDS KNOW I DO NOT AWARD FIVE STARS LITELY!!!! HIGLY RECCOMENDED!!!" - Amazon Reviewer
"LOL u think ur so funny but ur just lame dude LOL!" - Young Person
"Actually, although one would never admit it, this is my go-to Floyd album!" - Roger Waters
I can't think of anything else to say.
ReplyDeleteWell, you can't have any pudding if you don't try the veal!
DeleteThat artwork is almost enough to put me in joke mode! There is a very dark side of the triangle and by the way which one's pink?
I have been AWOL recently. It wasn't planned or desired. I have been lurking as much as the heat will allow. The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime. I shall return. Thanks, for everything!
Just a note for the Chang Fans out there - he's a hero. We don't "do" thoughts and prayers here, but we can go a little love where it's needed.
DeleteSending light and good vibes from FLA! Stay strong KC
Delete☮ Mr Dave
Lovely artwork! I'd like to attempt seducing my woman with this swell sounding collection if your giving it away for free. Otherwise I'll wire the funds to an offshore account in the Cayman islands if some kind internet stranger would be willing to provide me the account number and service fees.
ReplyDeleteNo link? Or at least the track listing?
ReplyDeleteBet hipgnosis wished theyda thoughta using a merkin.
ReplyDeleteLike the Merkin on your head?
DeleteHaw! Dat's on one th' old schnozzola fer Gary!
Delete[attempts arthritic high five with Babs, falls over, Babs gone since a while, leavin' only a intoxicatin' trace of Tabu on th' air]
Oh, don’t get me started....
DeleteEven funnier, I grew up in Flatbush, Brooklyn.
Of course us Noo Yawk Gals haven’t had a bush, flat or otherwise since the early 90s, as I’m sure the Four Or Five Guys© know from “pr0n” magazines and videos.
IMPORTANT NOTICE. As th' Iof© is graced wit' th' presence of a genuine broad leanin' on th' Tiki Bar, it behooves us to keep th' cussin' to a minimum, an' if you has to use th' spittoon do so discreetly - thanking youse for your attention in this matter - The Mgt.
DeleteIf only...........
DeleteIs this a scratch 'n' sniff cover?
DeleteIn response to your query, th' Isle O' Foam© is proud to announce an internet first - Swipe n' Sniff®! For the full olfactory experience, simply swipe the above image with your nose and savor th' aroma!
DeleteIf dear old Roger Waters digs it, then that's good enough for me.
ReplyDeleteBTW I can't find King Crimson....For Girls! even using the Isle's swell search function. Wanted to make sure it included Discipline.
I did come across Led Zeppelin....For Girls! though. probably quite similar. Blokes, guitars, loud, that sort of thing.
No, no, Ger - don't be afraid - the Led Zep For Girls is acousticentric, highlighting the combo's gift for tasteful restraint and pilfered melody!
DeleteLink coming up. That I forgot Led Zeppelin ... For Girls! shows how addled my brain's getting. Or always was. I can't find the KC disc either, but it's in here somewhere.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletePFFG
There's a little crossfading going on, so it's something more than a playlist. Also, it doesn't include [SONG YOU THOUGHT SHOULD BE INCLUDED] and [SONG YOU'RE FRANKLY STAGGERED ISN'T HERE], but making your own version to your own tastes is fine with everyone.
ReplyDeleteWhat about Floyd, Zep, Crimson etc. etc for Women?
ReplyDeleteLove the tongue-in-cheek misogyny, though. Not to mention the faux New York affectation (Brooklyn girl here)
Hey Babs, here on th' IoF©, a gal is a babe is a tomato is a broad is a twist, but a guy is just a bum!
ReplyDeleteSay - you gives me a swell idea! Leave us have ourself an Isle O' Foam© Treasure Hunt™!
How to play this swell new game? Simply find th' King Crimson ... For Girls! album hidden on th' Isle O' Foam©! An' post the link in a comment!
Be a come-with Four Or Five/Guy/Gal/Non-Binary©! Like youse bums got somethin' better to do? On Sunday fercrissakes? What'cha gonna do? Pick your feet in Poughkeepsie? The prize? Why - th' esteem of your confreres! Th' respect of your peers! Doin' somethin' to be proud of for once in yer goddamn so-called life! Somethin' to regale the grandkids wit' when they visit you on visitin' day!
Also, I think I may do a new cover for the KC, as an added invective!
Found a Beefheart for Girls here.
Deletehttps://falsememoryfoam.blogspot.com/2021/02/kreeme-kurates-dept-captain-beefheart.html#comment-form
Fruit basket link is dead, by the way.
Is there a Kwai Chang to English "phrase book"? Oy.
Speaking of English, something tells me you are too, right? (I lived in Bristol for a few years.....if you can call that "living"), Also, no one in New York has sounded like you since the early 50s.
Neither hide nor hair of Crimson for females, here. Closest I could find was the "Bobby Fripp Interview"" https://falsememoryfoam.blogspot.com/2019/08/the-birth-of-prog-bobby-fripp-interview.html
Maybe I should post some "Crimson For Little Boys"
Well, yeah ... Beefheart is E-Z. But the hunt is for K-C. I ain't bendin' th' rules just fer you on account which you is a frail!
DeleteAnd every record King Crimson made is ... For Boys! so that shouldn't be too hard. Find a girl-centric act and do a ... For Boys! and you get your Four Or Five Guys© sorority pin!
(And hey - there's no "little" about any of this, 'kay?, altho' you have astutely devined that the cultural context of th' IoF©, both ideographic and linguistic/orthographic, is th' 'fifties/'sixties).
You don't really want to even think about an "Indigo Girls — for Boys," do you? Because someone with ice water in their veins could really make that happen.
Delete"Kwai Chang to English phrase book" -- bravo, Babs! Well played!
DeleteMethinks his hovercraft is brimming with eels (he said in a fond and friendly manner, as one does when joshing with online pals).
Kwai's comments on other music blogs are more coherent and concise. Maybe it's our hepcat host who inspires him to wax inscrutable, or something intoxicating that grows wild upon this verdant Isle.
Speaking of whom, I haven't seen Kwai in these pages since the Wensdy Krumbtacular a month ago. Has anyone spotted his hovercraft on other shores? Should we call out the Coast Guard and start a new hunt for K-C (Kwai Chang)?
DeleteAs I trawled through the comments, I did notice that Bambi mentioned having a case of morning wood on "Victoria's Secret Garden O' Herbs". Maybe she's a member (haw!) of the Chixie Dicks.
Yeah ... Babs ... *sigh* ... I remember Babs. Anyone else remember Babs? She wus swell.
DeleteHere you go...
ReplyDeletehttps://falsememoryfoam.blogspot.com/2021/01/tvs-sid-slaw-explains-dept-where-king.html
DeePeeGee pulls the rabbit out of the hat with this one. Not even I had a clue what happened to it. I've done a new cover, and shall be posting all four as a "box" set (snigger) shortly, Shirley.
Delete<a href=="https://duckduckgo.com/i/37ef817d.jpg"
ReplyDeleteAmorica
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/dark-side-of-the-moon-cover-parodies
DeleteSadly, KC ... for Girls! gives File Not Found, for the original collectable version.
ReplyDeleteI shall be posting all four as a "box" set (snigger) shortly, Shirley.
DeleteAlso reminiscent of XTC Skylarking
ReplyDeletehttps://falsememoryfoam.blogspot.com/2021/01/tvs-sid-slaw-explains-dept-where-king.html
ReplyDeleteWell done for coming second, nameeman! Unlike some other blogs, the comments here on th' IoF© are vital reading. Many of the Four Or Five Guys© eschew the screed entirely and pile straight into the frothy spume of the comments!
DeleteI finally remembered where I'd seen your cover concept before. Scroll down below the Beatles:
ReplyDeletehttps://universodovinil.com.br/2019/06/23/a-polemica-das-capas-de-alguns-discos-de-vinil/
Apparently "charque" is Portuguese for beef jerky, and is also Brazilian slang for the lady parts. Thus, "Charque Side Of The Moon". HAW!