Th' IoF© has played host to many glamorously international stars, but a visit from all four surviving Beatles yesterday came as a surprise! They waxed loquacious anent their controversial last long-playing record album, Thirty Minutes On Abbey Road whilst Kreemé [eighteen my ass - Ed.] served signature dumpster run-off and turtle-dick smoothies, poolside!
FT3 Well, it's fab gear to have you here, lads! Swingin'! Tell us about this new album!
JL Our last album [Aloha, left - Ed.] was meant to be our blaze of glory.PM Our best-selling album since Pepper.
GH Our only album since Pepper.
PM But anyway, I thought -
GH We all thought, actually.
JL You know, let's get together as a band one last time.
PM Make a proper new studio album.A Beatles album.
FT3 But there were problems with the material?
GH Paul forgot how to write songs, basically.
PM Hey, just fuck off, George, alright?
JL Maxwell's Silver Hammer? Worst. Song. Ever.
RS I liked it.
GH Playing that gave me sciatica.
PM John's love song to heroin had to go, like, first.
JL It was about Yoko.
PM Heroin, Yoko ... same thing.
GH And that fake 'fifties thing, whatever that was. A parody or something?
JL Oh! Darling? Oh shit, more like.
PM And Ringo's song, because if Maxwell's Silver Hammer was cut, well, no disrespect Ringo, but you should have kept that one aside. For kids' parties.
RS I liked it.
JL Nobody else feckin' did.
FT3 So that was like, half the album got voted out?
GH The only reason Old Brown Shoe isn't on it is because it would have made the album look like a George Harrison album.
JL Apart from Come Together, it's just bits and pieces.
PM It's a suite. A suite. It works really, really, well. So shut up.
JL You feckin' shut yer gob yer feckin' gobshite.
RS Guys! Guys!
[sounds of scuffling, breaking glass etc.]
Recreate this classic iconic albumen at home! No irksome download required:
... and here's "anonymous'" prize for getting the right answer: