Forgotten Skills Dept. - Rocking Out

Th' Skynyrd rocking out Free Bird in '77

Just as scrimshaw and penmanship skill sets have fallen into disuse, so has Rocking Out. How did The Youth Of Yesteryear manifest this forgotten art? Visible signs included lowering the head to shake their long hair, and adopting poses concomitant with playing the electric guitar - a phenomenon known as "air guitar". The head could be thrown back during an air guitar solo, the features expressing painful ecstasy. The act of Rocking Out was frequently performed by a peer group of young males, mostly at live concerts. The solitary Rock Out was an established feature at "keggers" [parties involving beer - Ed.], usually followed by falling into a swimming pool, or off a roof, or asleep.

Always, Rocking Out was an instinctive response to loud music of a certain type. Even at extreme volume, James Taylor was unlikely to result in the phenomenon. Arguably, Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird stands as the finest exemplar of music certain to induce Rocking Out. It has been known to reanimate coma victims and librarians, such is its awesomeness. Even in the throes of senility, I find it impossible to ignore its urgent imperative, leaping arthritically from my La-Z-Boy© to essay a few ill-remembered shapes. Proust had his madeleine, I have this. So I win, and fuck him.

Today's loaddown is a swell pairing of their impossibly awesome first album from '73 - arguably Peak Rocking Out - and The Complete Muscle Shoals Album [finally released in '98 - Ed.], which includes an early Bird.

FoamFacts™: A bolt of lightning is visible in the sky above Ed King's head on the first album cover, unnoticed until the sleeve was printed. Ed was a member of The Strawberry Alarm Clock (FFA©- Ed.].

Seek medical advice before Rocking Out. Have a paramedic present, or use a "Dead Man's Switch" device to summon help.

Something Sunday Dept. - Vintage Tom

Tom Rush has been FFA©, and extensively, but this one slipped us by. If any youse bums is in the way of being desirous of his other swell rekkids, take a hinge here first, and let me know. The links provided by the 4/5G© I may not be able to up-re.

What I Know is a class act, vintage Rush from 2009 - yesterday. The handsome old devil gets Emmylou Harris, Nanci Griffith and Bonnie Bramlett to shiver their tonsils and the glow is warm as a rich red wine. Major dude.

Sweet Jesus This Is So Goddamn Lush My Mind Just Did A Money Shot Dept.

Ugly mofos wear bad threads, cut swell album!

Run, don't walk, to your friendly neighborhood record shoppe and give the counter jockey whatever he demands for this swell recording! Do not haggle, carp, or prevaricate. Ignore the shit sleeve on account which you can look at this one [above - Ed.] instead. 

The loaddown is @ a Greta Thunberg approved 192, and if you're not rolling around on the floor in a warm soup of your own goo by the end of the first track - or even a few seconds in - you may wish to consider that perhaps music is not for you. This doesn't make you a bad person. Maybe you could try quilting?

Kneels For Nobody, Stands For Decibels Dept.

In 1972, a sixteen year-old Peter Holsapple formed Rittenhouse Square with Mitch Easter and Chris Stamey (both - just - old enough to buy beer) and cut this here long-playing EP rekkid with producer Bobby Locke on drums. Locke disappears from view, but Holsapple and Stamey go on to alter rock n' roll history - and punctuation use - as the dB's, while Mitch Easter becomes Mitch Easter, key figure in the teentastic Winston-Salem Sound.

So this is where everything that matters starts, with a bunch of kids in snazzy shirts falling over each other with enthusiasm and enough riffs n' spliffs to get them through the session. Dual guitars! Handclaps! Does it get any better than this? Maybe, but not much. Turn it up!

"She means more to me than my Gibson Les Paul, because all she wants to do is ball."

Springsteen's "Rastaman Vibration" Album Prepped For Summer Drop!

Following the success of his album of soul covers (over a thousand albums shipped in New Jersey alone), rock icon Bruce Springsteen will be releasing a companion collection of roots reggae covers, Rastaman Vibration, in July. "The Boss" granted False Memory Foam© this exclusive interview:

FMF Heyyy! Looking buff n' tuff, The Boss!

BS My voice is kick ass!

FMF So - tell th' Four Or Five Guys© about the new album!

BS Yeah, well, it's something I've been wanting to do for the longest time, and when I spoke to my producer Ron [Aniello - Ed.] about it and he just kind of flipped! He was like, let's do this, people! It's a project whose time has come, it feels right. My voice is kick ass!

FMF People are going to be like, wo-ah! A roots reggae album from The Boss?

BS It's going to surprise a lot of people, but I've always been into reggae, everybody who played the bars in New Jersey back then has reggae in their DNA, it's like they called Asbury Park "Little Jamaica" for a reason! [laughs] So yeah, Ron [Aniello - Ed.] and me rolled up our shirtsleeves and each came up with a list of songs we wanted to cover, we did a lot of research, YouTube, Google ... the internet ...

FMF What songs made the cut?

BS Well, the title song had to be in there, it's iconic. We both came up with Don't Worry, Be Happy - Ron [Aniello - Ed.] gets a great whistle sound out of the synth for that one! Do You Really Want To Hurt Me, that's a deep cut, but it's good to get it some exposure. Can't Help Falling In Love - I channel The King for that one! Ron [Aniello - Ed.] was in tears, crying, we were both crying. He says, it's like Elvis has come back into the building. That's the biggest damn compliment I ever got. I'm real proud of that one [turns away, blinking].

FMF Wow! There's some surprising choices in there!

BS Wait 'til you hear De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da. And there's Never Gonna Give You Up, which I always heard as reggae, it's got that reggae beat, one-and-two, and-one ...

FMF And you assembled a group of crack Jamaican musicians.

BS Yeah. Getting the feel authentic was, well, Ron [Aniello - Ed.] nailed it. He plays everything. He did the cover art, too [above - Ed.]. I mean, I art directed it, he did the ... art. He went to Jamaica on vacation one time, and all the rastas recognised him as a soul brother. He has this instinctive feel, that I have, you can't learn it, mon! So in the end, we went with what we had, because it couldn't be improved. Or cheaper, although that was never a consideration. My voice is kick ass!

FMF You'll be touring the album? You had some trouble with ticketing, fans weren't too happy last time.

BS Uh huh, I listen to them, and I'm grateful for their suggestions. Well, most of them. We're changing the system. Tickets will be sold direct from my office, online, and there'll be a flat fee, just two thousand bucks a seat, so nobody gets ripped off.

FMF Every seat, two thousand bucks?

BS [nods] That's how it's gonna be. Across the board, no exceptions. Unless you want the VIP package. You get a view of the stage, and a complimentary bottle of water in the parking lot, there'll be like an area roped off, and Ron [Aniello - Ed.] will be signing programs. That's, uh, [coughs into fist] ten grand. Worth every cent!

FMF How's the voice?

This post made possible by a surprise rainstorm keeping me inside.