Cathedrals Of Sound Dept. - Tintern Abbey

Cover artwork © IoF Department Of Art Dept.

"Yebbut what exactly is psychedelic music, Farq?" is a question I get axed regliar down at the Psychedelic Psoup Kitchen on the cheesy side of th' IoF©, where cheap internet grifters and nogood bums jostle greedily at the steaming urns of our world famous Blotter Borscht™. "Glad you axed, oldtimer!" I chuckle indulgently. "Why, if ever there was a single 45rpm rekkid that distilled the very essence of psychedelia, it would be Beeside/Vacuum Cleaner by the Tintern Abbeys."

In spite of a vigorous press campaign and off-the-shelf artwork from hippie heavyweight Michael English [left - Ed.], the band never delivered the album they seemed to promise, and finished up doing cruise ship cabaret as - incredibly - "The Hit Parade Hamsters", dressing in hamster costumes and playing medleys of UK chart toppers such as Ob La Di, Tie A Yellow Ribbon, Mouldy Old Dough, and their rousing showstopper version of Ken Dodd's Happiness. It was far from the Psychedelic Experience, but the band has no regrets. "Are you kidding?" laughs lead singer Nigel Choppers, "We was paid for getting pissed out our fucking minds and shaggin' sweaty housewives from Chelmsford! Timothy Leary? Fuck off!"

The single has been the high point [oh very good - Ed.] of virtually every comp of UK psychedelia, and their scant later recordings scavenged for various hopeful releases, including the mis-titled Complete Recordings, which buries wobbly acetates of the single in a double cd of outtakes, unfinished and demo tracks.

Everything I have is in the loaddown, and it's a ragbag. Curate yer own collection - the task is beyond me.

This post sponsored by Poultry Pal™- "keepin' your hen happy since 1997!" - Crotchrot, AK.

Best Of The Beatles Dept. - Who's A Pretty Boy, Then?

Pete Best was sacked from the Beatles for being prettier than Paul McCartney. Tough break. "We needed a gonk for a drummer," laughs Sir McCartney today. "Remember gonks? They were like these toy gnomes what the kids had. Big nose. Ringo passed the audition soon as he came through the door. He was homelier than Better Homes & Gardens! We all applauded, actually. Anyway, what mattered was I was officially the prettiest Beatle, as stated in my contract. And still am incidentally. I mean, I won't say a word against Pete, but he'd be the first to admit he hasn't aged at all well. That chin? The old hooter? He's a gonk! [winks to camera] Still not getting in the band, Pete!"

Sir (then just "Paul") McCartney knew his signature Puppy Pout™ was no match for Pete's broody magnetism

Exactly seventy-three years later to the day Pete got his revenge by finagling a bunch of out-of-work musicians (this is Liverpool, remember), and a drummer, to steal some gear and make an album with his name on it that surprised the nine people who bought it by being unaccountably swell. Yes, it's beetly. Peppersome, even. And yes, Pete's input was limited to tea urn and takeaway curry duties. He doesn't sing, or play the drums much, and his songwriting input is sketchy at best [oh very good - Ed.]. But do we care? Nope. Because it's a good album.

Cover notes: Using the head shot Sir McCartney bitchily ripped out of the group photo used for the Anthology cover [left - Ed.] was a good idea - for a back cover.  But it makes for a butt-ugly front cover, so I done did a replacement [above - Ed.] in an appropriately colorful Pop Art style. You don't care.

This post funded in part by Calm Down! The Liverpool City Council Domestic Violence Initiative

It's A Happening Thing! Dept.

One of the great Food Bands, the Peanut Butter Conspiracy was also the perfect distillation of Left Coast positivism, like Jefferson Airplane without the anger issues. Fronted by Sandy Robison [AF-F™ - Ed.], they made a couple of groovy, groovy albums for Columbia in '67 (when else?) before losing the plot for a third on the walk-ins welcome Challenge label, founded by singing cowboy Gene Autry. Still, this was in '69, when it was a struggle for hippie bands to wake up from the Aquarian Dream. The Airplane flunked the end of the decade, too. PBC recorded enough other material to make comps essential, so today's Loaddown O' Largesse® is probably as comprehensive as you'll find, and all at the Goldilocks bitrate that Jesus ripped the Ten Commandments at. Quit whining and eat yer PBJ.

FoamFacts™

Item! A South African showband stole their name in the seventies and recorded a shit album that used to get passed off as a PBC album until the internets made us all experts in everything. Item! Gene Autry was the first artist to sell a million copies of a single, with "That Silver-Haired Daddy Of Mine".

This post autoclaved with tech assist from Acme Veeblefetzer Corp.

Kula Than Kool-Aid™ Dept. - The 1st Congregational Church Of Eternal Hugs And Free Love

The word swastika means, essentially, it is good, and in Eastern cultures the symbol has been revered for over two thousand years. Any collector of Kipling firsts will have a line of them decorating his bookshelf. Then, of course, the Nazis appropriated it and all bets were off. Crispian Mills, driving force of Kula Shaker, was misguided at best when he thought he could reverse the ill-feeling the symbol generated in the West and restore its original benign significance. But that's the worst you can say of him. The best is that he's fronted a startlingly good and unapologetically rock guitar band since 1995. That's over a decade, if my calculations are correct.

Dudes!

Mills has been given a good kicking in the music press for coming from a posh family, as if this made him a dilettante incapable of making what is generally (and mistakenly) thought of as blue-collar music. Kids from well-off families can afford the gear and may have the confidence financial security brings, but from then on it's a democracy, and Mills discovered the negative aspects of a fortunate birth outweighed the positive. He must have wished his name was Kev, and his family broken up in poverty. Nothing middle-class rock writers love more than the story of how rock music frees the brave young rebel from humble beginnings, especially if he gets to - tragically - die young. Mills has the misfortune to still be alive and healthy (on a vegetarian diet, I imagine), never a popular career move, and still making music that has no relevance for the Neckbeard n' Nancy collectives, and is all the better for it.

Kula Shaker's latest (some say best) album snuck out in the summer of '22, bypassing me and the Elderly Lesbians entirely. Album O' Th' Eon.

Today's post manifested on this earthly plane thru sponsorship from Chuck Castaneda's Chakra Shack™, Tuber Falls, IA.

Wake Up! It's The Twentieth Century! Dept.