ZZ Top - Everything You Want PLUS! Nothing You Need Dept.

Is this you?

The CD Era was a time of wonders. I disposed of most of my disposable income buying CD duplicates of my vinyl collection, which had already disposed of most of my disposable income. Why? Because I was a damn fool, in retrospect. But I wasn't alone in being duped into stacking up the nasty, sharp-edged items of office equipment with their stupid "jewel boxes" and flimsy illegible "inserts" and functionally ugly "label designs". I think I hated the damn things from the start but went on buying them because I was earning stupid money and had a Hugo Boss suit and a company Peugeot 1.9 GTI. Make stupid money, buy stupid stuff! I never felt so alive! New albums became obligatory CD purchases as vinyl dried up. And then the music industry suckered us into buying CD duplicates of music we already had on CD. Remastered with extra tracks! Limited edition miniature card sleeves! Oboyoboyoboy! TAKE MY MONEY!! Never mind that the vast majority of the "bonus" tracks were demo, live and alternate versions that did nothing to enhance the album, I wanted them! BOX SETS!! Gimme two, so I can keep one sealed!

Airbrush, cursed forerunner of AI

Talking of box sets, what we have here is one of the worst examples of Sucker CD ever issued, a remixed set of the first six ZZ Top albums [left - Ed.]. This might - just - have been a valid exercise if the remixes hadn't replaced the original mixes, which you couldn't buy anymore. It got a righteous kicking from those sharp-eared enough to notice it deserved one. As egregious as Zappa's '84 butchery of Money/Lumpy, the remix was an attempt to sound contemporary. In that, it's entirely successful, because in '87 contemporary music sounded like shit. Inevitably, there's now a critical reassessment along the lines of "it's just different". Er ... so was Zappa's '84 Money/Lumpy twofer.

 

 

Kustom sleeve, only at IoF©!

Rhino (we're supposed to type "the good people at" in front of that, but I refuse, because I'm a rebel, me) eventually made up for it with a box of original mixes, Chrome, Smoke & BBQ in '03. The Four Or Five Guys© are encouraged to make their own minds up as to which they prefer. I'd suggest comparing the two versions of Tush initially, and if you think the Six Pack version is better, that's fine. All opinions are equally respected and welcome, and we are nothing if not a broad church. Just never, never, paddle your coracle over to th' IoF© ever, ever again.

 

 

 

Note ZZ Top fan, bottom right. When you finish eyeing her chest puppies.

 

This post scrimshawed on a narwhal's tusk by a Esquimeau as part of th' IoF©'s cultural appropriation outreach program. Write for details.