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| Jesus delivers the Parable of the Suitcase (original Foam-O-Graph©, colorized) |
When seeketh the humble pilgrim authoritative advice on file compression formats, to whom doth he turn? Why, to Jesus, because as the Son of God, verily doth he know his shit when it comes to this type thing.
Book O' Foam chapter XI verse IV: The Parable Of The Suitcase
So it came to pass that a man of Nazareth was sorely vexed by compressed music files, and came to Jesus saying, lo, for I am sorely vexed by compressed music files. Which shall be closer to God, the humble @CXCII of the honest yeoman, or the bloated flac file favored by the Roman Oppressor? And Jesus answered him, saying, When thou packeth thine suitcase, perhaps for business trip or vacation, and the lid will not close, what dost thou doeth? And the man replied, saying, why, I jumpeth up and down upon it until it closeth. And Jesus spoke, saying, Dost thou discard such garments that prevent its closure and travel without? And the man laughed, saying, why, that would be folly! And Jesus replied, saying, think therefore of the garments as music, and the suitcase as the file format. When thou compresseth the garments that thou mayest close the suitcase, thou dost not lose any of the garments. It is the same with music. And the man fell to his knees, crying, verily Lord Jesus thou doth knowest thine shit!
This post sponsored in part by Th' Pork Bend Pontifical Church And Car Wash Co.
During his tenure on th' IoF©, Jesus will be pleased to answer any questions you may have!
ReplyDeleteAfter the last 2 weeks of my life, I ain't touchin' this one. Cue the locusts and lightning strikes....
ReplyDeleteRead this?
Deletehttps://www.amazon.com/Zealot-Life-Times-Jesus-Nazareth-ebook/dp/B00BRUQ7ZY
Read it???? Who in the hell you think wrote it!!!!!
DeleteIf they put it with the Gideon's Bible at the hotel, maybe I'll check it out. But probably not.
DeleteI read Zealot.
DeleteI read Zalittle.
Deletewere bloated flac files created by Beelzebul ???
ReplyDeletethou wroteth readth the zealot it's in my possession but still unopened ...i'm ashamed to say i have not to begun to read it yet.
thanksgiving i shall attempt to tackle it
...woody
People (not very perceptive people) dismiss the book because it's written by an individual they find unattractive for some reason. They spend five minutes researching him on the internet, shudder with distaste, and dismiss the book without reading it. I know one such character personally, and another is the relentlessly tiresome twerp whose gecko shit comments get flicked off the blog before you see them (and is all by himself the reason for comment moeration - well played, sir!).
DeleteI don't care about the author. I care very much about what the book says, and how it's backed up by exhaustive research into bullet-proof historical fact. He cites his sources, he doesn't make anything up. This is what enrages "Christians" - he goes to the academically established sources to build a picture of the authentic historical Jesus. A real man who doesn't perform miracles, who is not the Son of God, and is all the more important for that.
"and another is the relentlessly tiresome twerp whose gecko shit comments get flicked off the blog before you see them (and is all by himself the reason for comment moeration - well played, sir!)."....me ??? oh well i've tried to play nice
Deleteyou have a nice holiday
....woody
Nah. Quit flattering yerself.Your comments stay up, don't they? Play nice and you might get a trading card!
Deletei've been told that i can be somewhat twerpish at times just glad it wasn't me this time.i can breathe easier knowing that.
Deletenegative flattery comes easily
....woody
Verily, I ask unto you, how'd you do that water into wine trick? Also walking in water. Walking on gilded splinters, I get, but water? Seems hard. Lastly, who put the bomp...ne'er mind...what I really wanna know is how you explain Donald Trump. Eagerly awaiting any explanation at all.
ReplyDeleteJesus writes: "Thank you for reaching out to me! Your call is important to us and may be recorded. Please hold ..."
Deletesnort
Delete"Heavenly" on-hold music plays until the Rapture...
DeleteYeah but, I don't want anyone seeing my VPL.
ReplyDeleteRemember when Jesus' boat, filled with disciples and was blown far out to sea, finally settling on the leper island from Papillon? Such a good time was had by all, that when Jeez and the disciples were splitting the scene, every leper on the island came out for the big farewell. They were gathered on the beach singing, "Everyone is Beautiful in Their Own Way" as the finger snappers sent digits raining down on the crowd. Camera zooms on a nose picker and the finger remains in the nostril as the hand goes down. Seeing this, he tries to remove the finger and his nose falls off. So many lepers have kissed the hem of Christ's garment only to have the lips remain there, stuck forever, that Jesus can barely hobble out to the boat and has to be hoisted upon the poop deck in nets. Stay tuned for Poultrygeist.
ReplyDeleteSay, Jesus, why have my second year students been such assholes this week?
ReplyDeleteWell, duh. It's Asshole Week - did nobody tell you?
Delete"second year" could be key--betwixt & between, they are.
DeleteAwwright....jeez....FLAC. I digitize radio shows. King Biscuit, Westwood One, Captured Live, The Source, etc. Play 'em on a good turntable, good cartridge, run 'em through a high-end cable to the computer, remove the clicks n' pops, and slice and dice 'em into chaptered songs for easier consumption. As this the STARTING POINT of the file's journey to who knows where, I choose to start in high quality. Not the highest; I start 'em as .wav files, not high-rez 24-bit/192 kHz. I have my limits and can't hear what dogs and teenagers can hear.
ReplyDeleteI'm not the Flac Gestapo; I don't put dire warnings in ALL CAPS commanding people to never convert to lossy formats. I figger you lot can do whatever you want with the files. You can play them backwards. Throw out the commercials. Delete the songs you don't like. This isn't some illuminated medieval rarity like the Book of Kells, you can tear the pages out here and use 'em to make a collage.
So, my question for Jesus is, should I be starting the files out at 192 instead? Is my archival approach misguided at best, and a sin at the worst?
And while we're waiting, here's Rosanne Cash live at Bogart's in 1981: https://mega.nz/file/6Y5RHB4D#Q2TvkVdwUt3ZQLBdaobPECdHX4dRy7DOv1X24e8-N0Y
I've found that the patented FoamRate© of @193 is perfect both as starting and finishing point. It also automatically adds more cowbell.
DeleteThat works only if you encode them on 4/20 of any given year.
DeleteIt's a feature, not a bug.
DeleteAll I want to say on the mp3 matter is, I listen with my ears, if one of FT3s files at 193 sounds good through the tinnitus then I’ll keep it (most pass the test). Many years ago I would burn CDs from flac files but soon realised a lot of flacs are derived from mp3s and I can barely hear the difference between a 320 mp3 and Flac when I play them through a nice loud hi-fi system.
DeleteSorry draftervoi but I even compressed your wonderful 1980 Robin Trower concert to 320!
Thank you, draftervoi, for something "while we're waiting." I tried to transfer from Mega and both times it hung up at 268 MB of the expected 348. I'm loath to complain about free stuff (no, really) but I wonder if others have had difficulties?
DeleteD in California
Hi, Anonymous! Yes, MEGA has an intermittent issue with downloads. A download will start, run along and then suddenly stop. The solution is to close the window, and try again. It will usually get further...but sometimes lock up a third time. So, you have to start it again. In general, each time it gets further along and eventually the entire file downloads. On discussions over at Voodoo Wagon there does not seem to be a consistent problem; some people have it happen on a download and others don't. It does not appear to have any connection to the file, except perhaps that larger files do lock up more because they take longer. If you are unable to download, email me at draftervoi@gmail.com and I can break it into several smaller .rar files and send you the links by email. And Bambi? As I said, I'm completely as ease with anything you want to do with the files; they're not "mine," they're a radio broadcast and I digitized it, that's all. If you want to hook up a tin-can telephone and play it through a piece of string and an empty Campbell's Cream of Chicken, I'm not going to tell you the real music lovers only use a Progresso Manhattan Clam Chowder for the best sound quality. :)
DeleteMy carefully considered response to all of this is that Jesus needs to advocate for larger suitcases.
ReplyDeleteOr fewer clothes (possessions)?
DeleteI see that you're further along the path to enlightenment than I am. It helps that you live in a warm climate, though.
DeletePerhaps some insight might be found by reading "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" by Christopher Moore.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it might:
Deletehttps://workupload.com/file/uM3m2WAhkm7
While we debate flac vs mp3, I read today that pre-recorded reel to reel tape is now on sale for $299. That’s hardcore hi-fi masturbator stuff, pass me the tissues.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.discogs.com/release/35411038-Yes-The-Yes-Album