Jesus Explains Dept. - File Compression

 

Jesus delivers the Parable of the Suitcase (original Foam-O-Graph©, colorized)

When seeketh the humble pilgrim authoritative advice on file compression formats, to whom doth he turn? Why, to Jesus, because as the Son of God, verily doth he know his shit when it comes to this type thing.

Book O' Foam chapter XI verse IV: The Parable Of The Suitcase

So it came to pass that a man of Nazareth was sorely vexed by compressed music files, and came to Jesus saying, lo, for I am sorely vexed by compressed music files. Which shall be closer to God, the humble @CXCII of the honest yeoman, or the bloated flac file favored by the Roman Oppressor? And Jesus answered him, saying, When thou packeth thine suitcase, perhaps for business trip or vacation, and the lid will not close, what dost thou doeth? And the man replied, saying, why, I jumpeth up and down upon it until it closeth. And Jesus spoke, saying, Dost thou discard such garments that prevent its closure and travel without? And the man laughed, saying, why, that would be folly! And Jesus replied, saying, think therefore of the garments as music, and the suitcase as the file format. When thou compresseth the garments that thou mayest close the suitcase, thou dost not lose any of the garments. It is the same with music. And the man fell to his knees, crying, verily Lord Jesus thou doth knowest thine shit!

 

This post sponsored in part by Th' Pork Bend Pontifical Church And Car Wash Co.