VoCalle Fry tests bikini top for elasticity, yesterday
Speaking from the comfort lounge at the Pork Bend (TX) Lube n' Wax Center yesterday, professional bikini tester VoCalle Fry [above - Ed.] stated IoF© policy of recycling old content actively deplatforms bikini testers. "The profession of bikini testing has been quietly canceled by so-called Fabulous False Memory Foam Island©. The last time a bikini tester was featured was, like, I can't remember? [October 29, 2024 - Ed.] Anyway, Mister Farquhar Throckmorton III needs to get his head out his ass, because professionals in the garment safety industry such as like I were the only reason guys ever visited the place in the first place, duh."
(©Associated Press)
I reached out to Ms. Fry to suggest a compromise. If she pretends to know about a couple of second-rate psychedelic albums from the 'sixties, I am happy to showcase her professional skills. Happily, she agreed to having the albums seamlessly "photoshopped" into her picture in a tasteful way, and to reading from a card in an interview to give content-hungry visitors the impression she knows what she's talking about. Above all, I insisted, the content will be respectful of the bikini testing community. Too many people take a sniggering, immature and sexist view of what is a demanding and dignified career choice.
FT3 Heyyy! VoCalle baby! Lookin' hotter than a two dollar pistol!
VCF Likewise I'm sure. You want I should read the card?
FT3 Go for it, baby!
VCF Okay ... uh .. The Little Boy Blues and the Human Beinz were psi ... psycodeli ...
FT3 SY-chodelic. You don't pronounce the p. And it's Little Boys Blue?
VCF [wrinkles nose] puh-SY-chodelic bands which ... uh ...
FT3 Tell you what. Rip up the card, sweetpants. Your work is done.
ED>- PSE ADD RESRCH WOODLAND OF WEIR AND EVOLUTIONS HERE DON'T JUST COPY PASTE LIKE LAST TIME [Blow it out yer ass - Ed.]
Any youse bums want these albums? Why, fercrissakes?
ReplyDeleteNo no no no no no no no, etc. Which, cancelling double negatives, becomes a positive, which is as close to consent as a guy is lucky to get these days, ain'a?
ReplyDeleteGee whiz. Offloadin' second-rate psych is becoming counter-productive.
DeleteWait ... what?
Deletei wanna hear their misc.
ReplyDeleteEverything old is new again. Human Beinz even have a website: https://www.thehumanbeinz.com/history.html
ReplyDelete"We were a phenomenon in our area. All the clubs wanted us ..." Why am I hearing Joe's Garage?
DeleteYou couldn't make this stuff up:
Delete"We toured Japan in the spring of 1969 and they treated us like royalty. We had been disagreeing over things for awhile and had actually broken up before we did Japan. We had to do Japan, or we would have been sued, so we did the Japan tour. When the tour was over, we got off the plane and it was over." - Spinal Tap outtake.
I don't recall they came to Japan. Nobody But Me was a minor hit, some airplays on the AM radio as far as I remember. The Animals broke up during their Japan tour - it was a disaster to say the least. They did live TV appearance with massive smoke machine going, they couldn't really perform! Eric got upset and they called it quit. lol
DeleteI still remember that live broadcast.
Photo here (scroll down):
Deletehttps://2or3lines.blogspot.com/2011/03/human-beinz-nobody-but-me-1967.html
Their "big" hit is a rip off of Land of 1000 Dances by Chris Kenner.
DeleteIt "bubbled under" for the Isleys in the same year - '62 - so which ripped off which, and hoo hah?
DeleteIt all starts in the key of G.
DeleteAs second-rate psych goes, this stuff is top tier. I'd say it had, oh, I don't know, a certain je ne sais quoi, if I knew what that meant.
ReplyDeletehttps://workupload.com/file/xXmn2492MmY
I had the Human Beinz's Nobody But Me on a Capitol Records "Super Hits" comp from the day. It was brand new & hardly a super hit yet, but pretty good for the day.
ReplyDeleteBut I just found my old 45 rpm copy...
Delete