Tuesday, August 5, 2025

Walton Goggins' Lesbian Cruise Disco! Dept.

Every downloaded deliverable PERSONALLY SIGNED by Walton Goggins!

 

You'll know H'wood leading man Walton Goggins from his unforgettable role as Enis McPenis on Amazon Prime's Cracker Carnage, but did you know his side hustle is DJ'ing on luxury cruise ships!? Walt told the story poolside as Kreemé [18 my ass - Ed.] served signature processed ham packet water n' snailfoot smoothies!

FT3 Heyy Waltie-baby! Th' Gogster! Lookin' gooo-ood! 

WG Why, thank you, Farq!

FT3 Bring us up to speed anent your briny stints as nautical tunemeister!

WG It all started when I landed the DJ gig on Lesbian Cruise lines. I'd always wanted to visit th' Isle O' Lesbian which is as you know one of the Roman-style isles set as they are in the wine-dark waters of the Augean Ocean. But imagine my surprise when I discovered it was a floating hen party! The whole deal was for babes too old or homely to get a guy! So naturally I made up a mixtape of tunes they could relate to, get them out on the dancefloor even though there was like no guys to ask them!

FT3 And you've like brung signed souvenir digital-style CD discs to pass out to th' Four Or Five Guys©?

WG I surely have, Farq! I think they'll enjoy the oh-so-feminine selections!

FT3 I'm sure they will, and can only add they make swell gifts for any lonely gals what can't catch a man! Thanks for swinging by!


This post made possible by a disturbing lack of good taste and sense of restraint.

31 comments:

  1. To qualify for this swell deliverable, simply tell us your favorite disco tune!

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  2. The Sound Table by Cameo - (although it might be funk?).
    so Disco Inferno by Tramps.

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  3. Now in me mid-80s I am afraid my disco rate has slowed. The ‘tune’ most compatible with my current rate is the second movement from Beethoven’s 3rd symphony, particularly in the Celibdache recording. Sadly, I no longer have much stuff to strut. Ah, but the memories linger on.

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  4. Ola Lundström - Discodans , and it all went downhill from there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuFIP-1iMKg

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  5. Don't larf, now!! I'm opening up my soul 'ere!! Dead or Alive "You spin me round (like a record, baby)!! Don't throw up either, please!!!

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    Replies
    1. Steve, I'm not sure if you are familiar with the genius of Frank Sidebottom, but he briefly incorporates You Spin Me Round in the rather lovely medley below:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IydMLwjQyeg&list=PLsrELeIhT7BSfEupJ67MTP1IilnB6JxBB

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    2. I wasn't but am now!!! Thanx, Bambi!!

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  6. Your cruise souvenir is here!

    https://workupload.com/file/MKG84eeUZ6V

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  7. https://www.discogs.com/master/389755-Eine-Kleine-Disco-Band-Disco-Saturday-Nacht-Feverish-Sounds-Of-1830

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  8. Strange that a Lesbian Cruise Disco eelpee should start with Boys Boys Boys !!!

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    Replies
    1. Well done! Should you ever listen further in, you'll find there is a "theme" running through the selections, with each tune adding exponentially to the drollery !

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  9. I Think I'm gonna pass on this one. Don't know what I'm going to pass, but it won't be pretty.

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  10. I did listen to it. Not my type of pride music. Did not like the mix. Any gay/leb mix with YMCA is for losers, why did you spend time on this. James Brown man's world is as hetero as can be. Hoped for Neneh Cherry it's a woman's world to take it over. Wasted 29 minutes

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    Replies
    1. Not for the first time, Richard, I find myself wondering if you'd be happier somewhere else?

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  11. Favorite disco tune:

    Joe Tex' "Ain't Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman) - it's a disco tune AND a send-up of one, two for the price of one

    Classic disco tune:

    Heart Of Glass - Blondie

    Favorite Neo-Disco Tune:

    Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) - Arcade Fire

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  12. Sister Sledge baby - singing "We are Family", followed closely by Chic's "Le Freak".

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  13. Nice to see that "It's Raining Men" made the cut. All in all, a swell listen. Thanks.

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  14. Seeing my neighbour had gone out this afternoon, I thought it a good idea to blast out the new Walton Goggins DJ mix at volume. Imagine my surprise to find my old stick-on moustache and cop hat in my linen basket, before I knew it I was dancing like I was at a Trump rally.
    Is Walton Goggins a republican?

    It seems his most recent film was Queen Of The Ring, just sayin’.

    Are there any other Walton Goggins mix CDs available? asking for a young friend of mine.

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    Replies
    1. Mr Goggins is confused. Almost as confused as some of the readers struggling with what's happening here.

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    2. Did you LYFAO? A simple snot snort would be enough, IMHO.

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    3. Heck, I got a simple snort and a grin from "This post made possible by a disturbing lack of good taste and sense of restraint."
      D in California

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  15. Donna Summer 'On The Radio' (inc super-tasty synth-bass line under ace period sax solo)
    The Players Association 'Turn The Music Up' (US session men cash in with killer efficiency whilst waiting for [say] Jackson Browne to turn up at the recording date)
    Voyage 'From East To West' (glorious Euro-disco travelogue reflections in the mirrored aviators worn by impossibly-chic models posing on boats off the Cote D'Azur).

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  16. Oh no i've logged in. Anyway, the album version of "Love To Love You Baby" was always a favorite (swell album cover, too). Nowadays, the single edit usually suffices. The wacky string section workout "Fly Robin Fly" also has lots of appeal in moderation.

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  17. To those who are under the impression that this is a music blog, I'd suggest going back to the very first post and reading everything chronologically, including the comments. There is a mix of style and content in the writing, leading some early visitors to think there was a team of writers sharing the Farquhar Throckmorton brand, but it's always just been me except for a labor-intensive period where I encouraged others to write pieces (always clearly credited), in the misguided belief it would be "less work" for me. How wrong I was.
    Th' IoF© has always posted Dumb Humor in addition to piercingly intellectual critical analysis. Most of the attached music is more or less personal taste, what I have on my hard drive and listen to occasionally. There have also been Library O' Books™ pieces, coverage of movies and magazines and TV and radio shows, and the award-winning Thirty Minutes® series of curated immersive audio collages which have in their quiet way revolutionised the music business. All illustrated by Foam-O-Graph©, a superior precursor to AI. The comments have always been as important as the content, and although, tbh ngl, the Golden Age of smartassery has sadly gone, there's still maybe three of four of the 4/5g© who can go with the gag.
    Which brings me to this piece. Actually reading it and understanding the slight narrative it presents is crucial for the carefully embedded humor to be extracted from the deliverable, which is integral to the central gag. It's clear (from published and deleted comments) that this simple requirement has been sidestepped by some of you, perhaps due to urgent business schedules or crippling attention deficit issues or just plain clinical lack of a sense of humor. To those I say - please either go elsewhere to grab some free music, or at the very least restrain yourselves from making tone deaf comments here.

    (And I've always had time for a bit of disco, except at discotheques. Note how Walton, ever the professional, ends his session at th' wheels o' steel with a couple of slowies.)

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  18. "I Will Survive" by Glorious Gloria Gaynor:
    "Now you're back
    From outer space
    And I find you here
    With that sad look upon your face

    finest kind

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    Replies
    1. The thing about disco is that it depends on the song - the beat has to be there, but it's the song that people carry into the street. YMCA (among many) is a fantastic song! It also has its own dance moves, which doesn't happen too much these days, what with Young Peoples' inability to be interested in anything outside their own mournful self obsession.

      Spencer Davis Group's "I'm A Man" is perfect disco (the beat, the arrangement, and the strutting sentiment) a decade before the genre got organised.

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  19. Moroder's "Chase" is my choice altough not gay enough maybe.
    Whoever thinks these are wasted 29 minutes has not (luckily) been drafted by a south american army for two years. And I mean it with love and respect (not armywise).
    Have to agree with N Cherry's choice tough.
    A merry discotopian time for all islanders!!
    Bat

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  20. Turn the Beat Around was a fave of mine

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