Meet Umlaut U. Sturdley, CEO Sturdley Hygiene (Intelligent Technologies)! He's responded to these troubled times in which we're livin' in by showing some good old American can-do chutzpah! A bootstrap start-up operating from Sturdley's designer duplex shopping cart under the Antelope Freeway, his client list now boasts such A-list celebs as Megan Thee Stallion, Grimes, Kid Rock, Brooklyn Beckham, Buckley Carlson, and Chad Kroeger!
FT3 Heyy! Umlaut, my man! Lookin' good!
UUS I like to make an effort for my clients.
FT3 So - tell us, exactly what is it you do for your clients?
UUS I offer a personalized home hygiene program that obviates the need for costly maid service and vacuum cleaners. Basically I scarf up all the dust with my face, consuming it as I go.
FT3 I see you've grown your beard to serve this functionality.
UUS That's right, Farq. Note dual directional whiskers, for those hard-to-reach corners.
FT3 A human Roomba®! How did you get into this lucrative line of work?
UUS Well, it ain't exactly lucrative. I don't get paid. I do it to eat. Celebrity house dust is full of high-end nutrients and pro-vitamins, not to mention Class A drugs. A lot of Ketamine right now, I'm noticing.
FT3 Ri-ight! But how did it all start?
FT3 You spotted an opportunity?
UUS That's right, Farq. So I said I would, and the deal was struck right there. And I left everything so shiny at his place not even the Feds could find anything. He eats a lot pizza, by the way, I do his house and I'm like full of crust. And high as a cat's back.
FT3 Well, this has been fascinating, Umlaut! And you've brought an album with you to share with th' Four or Five Guys©?
UUS Album? You mean like a record album? Nope.
FT3 Well, duh.
This post financed in part by Debbie Debutante's Dipso Dungeon, Pismo Beach, CA.
Would you like me to upload a nalbum? What, perchance, might this be? Don't be shy. I've got every album ever made.
ReplyDeletelast night i dealt with a storage problem too many songs not enough space on my pc so i finally had to do it and dump concerts i no longer listened to...dylan's boots had to go bye bye i love him but...next i'll be looking into my grateful dead collection. a shame and bit depressing
ReplyDeleteif you're looking for a solid side i suggest marvin gaye's what's going on.how many remember that one ??? how many really listened to it ???
it's as relevant today as it was back then
Marvin Gaye is very popular in Europe, every year in the polls it is played for being one of the hundred best albums ever. Mine would be
DeleteDavid Bowie & The Innovations - I Saw You Last Night / Again And Again
Viklický vs. Švamberk - Last Connection From Nirasaki
Mariette Bodier - Going Places
Are there too many songs? I go on sprees where I buy up external hard drives. I rationalize it all by telling myself I'm just being an amateur archivist. --Muzak McM.
DeleteIt's a bit like cheese-sauce. One can never have enough cheese-sauce.
DeleteAnd if you do not like cheese sauce, any amount will be too much.
I think there is never enough music, there is only too much bad music. No, not bad music, music I do not like. And yes, there is also way too much bad music. When you say that there are too many songs, does that imply no one should write new songs?
Do me the first Tupelo Chain Sex album What Is It from 1982
ReplyDeleteGreat story, thanks Farq.
ReplyDeleteAfterwards I listened to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocgmNgQbeJA
Nice track Koen, thanks
DeleteThat one was a bit of a surprise for me too ;-)
DeleteLarvely. Thank you.
DeleteThe Rain Parade - Crashing Dream the 2×LP, Album, Record Store Day 2025 version with all the extra goodies that I'll never ever get around to listening to. Please.
ReplyDeleteThen we'd have World Peace.
DeleteI’m sure Mr Umlaut would appreciate Motörhead, Eat The Rich, see vid below.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh3t49NsWBA
As for an album upload from all the albums ever, I’ll get back to you on that one.
Hiya Farq!! Wow!! Amazingly incredible offer!! Can't resist!! D'ya have any "Pete Brown & Piblokto!" in ya' library?? Would be very grateful if ya's do!!
ReplyDeletehttps://mega.nz/folder/YLtFjIrb#gMqToxu7xUY9p-87wiIthA
Delete2 albums pete browm and piblokto
Wow!!! Thanx Richard!! Youse a star!!!
DeleteDanny Cox - Live At The Family Dog. I've been looking for that one for, like, evah!
ReplyDeleteAlternatively - is there anything we 4 or 5 Guys can help you with Farq? Musically. Strictly Musically.
Well done sir. Too busy with my own stuff. Now I fully support your wish. Can we help?
DeleteMay I have Duster Bennett's "Smiling Like I'm Happy" please. Many thanks.
ReplyDeleteCheers, Peanuts Molloy.
Filling in for an incapacitated FT3 -- from 1968, Duster B: https://www.imagenetz.de/dyxwu
DeleteThanks, M. Swami!
DeleteIke Stubblefield's album, Righteous. Great jazz/blues organist who died about 7 years ago. Was a session player on a ton of Motown records. Righteous is extremely difficult to find. Met Stubblefield a few times since he regularly played in NO. He had a falling out with the record label after the lp was recorded, but before it was released, so it got little to no promotion and has seemingly disappeared.
ReplyDeleteI was pretty confident I had every record ever made, but these requests prove me wrong. A humbling experience. I don't think there's anything I'd really like that I don't have, except the expanded "Crashing Dream" mentioned by Ger up above., which I know is causing both of us to thrash about in our cots in the small hours of the night.
ReplyDeleteInded it does. Separate cots, mind you. Separate continents too, come to that.
DeleteMarty Stuart and his Fabulous Superlatives, "Spce Junk"...all surf-style instrumentls,a 'record store day' only vinyl release?...someone???
ReplyDeletePosting from me is affected by problems caused by trapped nerve in neck, spine compression, resulting in nearly continuous neck/shoulder/left arm pain. Can sleep okay, but any other activity ain't much fun. Anti-inflamms not doing much - hard to tell. Starting physio tomorrow. Thoughts and prayers if you got 'em - I'm grateful for anything right now.
ReplyDeleteThe weird thing is when the pain subsides into a normal state of Not Hurt, it's bliss - why don't we ordinarily feel this absence of pain as bliss, or at least fantastically good and wonderful? It's the normal state for most of us, taken for granted I guess.
Good luck, Farq .. all the best to ya' ..know the feeling 'cos going through some health (.. or lack thereof) issues myself at the moment!! S'why I'm stuck 'ere in the good old UK : (
DeleteYou tried accupuncture? Its done wonders for me. Regardless, sorry you are having to deal with it.
DeleteI'm going for shoulder and sacroiliac X-rays this morning. (Sacroiliac used to be such a funny word.) I share the feeling, now and then: "Aahhh, nothing hurts." Deep exhalation. Moments later, ankle, knee, spine or shoulder: "Twinge." Oh, Okay. At least I have a dedicated orthopedist who seems intent on seeing if there's some reason this old peasant frame is wearing out on all the corners. I'm immensely grateful the soft bits are hanging in there and still doing the chemical and electrical stuff more or less properly. Best wishes.
DeleteYou tried massage? Acupuncture?? Hope you will recover!
DeleteWe take our health often for granted, except when the shit hits the fan...
Local acupuncturist away until the seventh.
Delete"Have you tried that Chinese thing with the needles?"
"Acupuncture?"
"No, heroin ..."
so sorry...this whole aging deal ain't for the faint of heart. Sending all the best.
Deletethoughts are with you old man.
ReplyDeleteHere's Space Junk:
ReplyDeletehttps://workupload.com/file/U5xayX8RPDx
Don't mention it.
Listening to it now, excellent, thank you!
DeleteDon't mention it? That kinda generosity to a total stranger? THANK YOU!
DeleteSorry to hear of your pain FT3. I expect when you picked up your air guitar last week and started rocking out during your hard rock post you may have overdone the Townshend windmill manoeuvre. Stick to air bass guitar for the time being, a much gentler activity. Other air instruments should be played only with medical approval.
ReplyDeleteIs playing air theremin a tautological act?
DeleteI do air Ondes Martenot.
DeleteWow, that is Champions League ‘air musicianship’, and keeps your left arm busy with that funny little pull-out timbre drawer.
DeleteHoping the physio helped.
had more to say last night but life continues to interrupt my down time i've been very lucky all my ailment were/are self inflected like copd and i have a few other minor quirks. my wife however suffers like you from "continuous neck/shoulder/left arm pain" she fell through our rotting back deck doing major damage to her neck shoulder and arm. doctors have decided she too old for surgery she refuses to take meds so she's opted for pt.some two years ago we had two great danes one my wife's beloved had a false pregnancy and the dog went crazy eventually the dog took my wife pointer finger (right hand) off the finger was reattached great doctors right time. so it was physical therapy after that now it's pt every week and exercises every day. she's tough determined pill free but she like you seeks that state of Not Hurt the bliss that comes from normalcy...i do what i can but mainly i just listen
ReplyDeleteby the way we now have one great dane her new beloved
so my thoughts are with you
I generally don't like to read (or, especially) write woe-is-me screed, but pain blots everything out. The occasions when it just seems to lose interest and wander off leave me basking like I'd found warm water while swimming in a cold sea. "Ordinary life", taken for granted, is a privilege, ain't it? Here's to the Blessed State of Not Pain, then, and may we all be grateful citizens!
ReplyDeletepreach, Don Farq
DeleteI used to say "Hope I die before I get old" but 60+ years later, I guess not. Hope you get to feeling better! Rock on! (or keep it on easy listening for awhile...)
ReplyDeleteHope you're hanging in there...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Eric S. Meds + physio not having much effect yet. Sitting at my desk and doing computery stuff isn't very comfortable, unfortunately!
DeleteIf anyone wants anything from the Crawl Space, that's do-able. Leave yer request here.
DeleteOuch! Sorry to hear that you're saying Ouch! Getting old does, indeed, suck. At least your ears still work.
ReplyDeleteDo u have Caravan with a drum solo? If not, don't strain yourself--get better!
ReplyDeleteGet well soon, Ya big lug!
ReplyDeleteIt's basically boring. I won't say that's the worst aspect of "suffering", but it doesn't get spoken about much. Because it's boring. Boring discussing the boring aspect of being ill/sick, whatever. Can you please ... just ... quit this shit? Upspeaking?
ReplyDeleteI'm having Electro-Magnetic Pulse therapy twice a week, which is actually helping. The meds, I'm not too sure about. Impossible to say if they're having any effect, because the pain is still there, although to a lesser degree. I'm off them in a couple days, so it'll be interesting to see if the claws dig deeper, or no diff. What I have is pretty damn minor, but it's ... boring.
When I regain my signature style of wacky humor, I'll post something. But nobody wants a boring blog post about the second-rate country rock and Hallmark psychedelia which is my comfort zone. I'll be back when I'm funny.
For both your sake and ours lets hope that'll be soon.
ReplyDeletemebbe without the country rock and psychedelia, unless you want us to share your pain, which is fair, given all you give us. Appreciate the occasional smoke signal...
ReplyDeletehttps://www.seti.org/press-release/whaleseti-curious-humpback-whales-approach-humans-and-blow-bubble-smoke-rings
DeleteDon't stay away too long unless the thrill has gone. I Hope the meaningless suffering subsides soon. Love on ya.
ReplyDeleteTh' IoF© was always intended to be some kind of refuge where Artificial Ignorance™ could scamper through the sunkissed wavelets, rejoicing in the shabby sanctity of pop music. It required a willingness to be Dumb Angels, to see Alfred E. Neuman as divine as Michaelangelo's David, or indeed any of them great symphonies what Shakespeare wrote. To see Bikini Babes as the Graces, and some cheap 45 recorded by some snotty kids who know there ain't but One Mystic Chord o' God, but two, with a backbeat. The thrill will never die. Give me the beat, boys, free my soul ...
ReplyDeleteI look forward to getting the black bird's claw off my shoulder so I can get in the mood for a surfside frolic. The harrier needs to be enticed away somehow, or changed into a dove, not drugged or wrenched off.
I can't thank you enough for your helpful messages in bottles. Yes I can. Stupid thing to say. THANK YOU!
(Norman Cervix resumed as it was ever sumed in the first place as soon as plausible).
we ain't much, speaking for myself, but we're stalwart
ReplyDeletePositive vibrations, yeah ... positive.
ReplyDeleteThe last 24 hours have been the first without real pain for a while. I credit the Electro-magnetic Pulse Therapy machine, and if you suffer muscular/joint/nerve pain I urge you to seek one out. No pharma, no faith, just results.
ReplyDeleteLet's assume I'm on the mend, and thank you again.