Friday, June 20, 2025

Blue Cheer - The Years Of Quiet Introspection Dept.


The Blue Cheers, yesterday! [wrong line-up, ya doofus - Ed.]


 

"We were listening to a lot of Donovan," smiles Dickie [Petersen - Ed.] today, "and I guess that put our heads in a peaceful place. We were getting it together in the countryside, this ashram in a fucking field outside Newark or somewhere - no! Hunters Point! And reading the Desiderata around the fire. Getting a shitload of pussy, too, but in a more meaningful way. Sometimes we're like, stay overnight! You can fix breakfast! We've grown. Spiritually I mean, physically we're the same, maybe a little smaller, or maybe that's because we're further away. I remember Leigh [Stephens - Ed.] getting into watercolors, doing these beautiful pictures of flowers and gnomes and shit. Chicks dig sensitivity in a guy. They'd be like giving him a rim job and he was like hey! I haveta finish this fucking unicorn for fuck's sake! [laughs]. I was learning to play madrigals on this dulcimer I ripped off Joni [Mitchell - Ed.], and we were all doing 'shrooms, man. So those three albums, kind of our tri-ology, were like us asking for forgiveness for the early stuff, where we were like, woh-ah! Too fuckin' loud, dude! So that kind of explains the gentler mood of those albums. We couldn't hear shit. Didn't know what we were playing. The Incredible String Band stayed with us, and I gave them a song I wrote they never credited us for. Creation, I think - no! Big Ted! They're like Mormons, I guess that explains it. So yeah."

 

Today's deliverable is a sumptuous BlisterPak™ of  the self-titled album from 1969 [Blue Cheer - Ed.], The Original Human Being, and Oh! Pleasant Hope, all-time Cheer favorites on th' IoF©, and anyone who sez otherwise can go suck a newt.

 

 


Wednesday, June 18, 2025

News Dept. - News From Th' IoF© News Desk

Can you spot Kevin, this week's Red Panda, readers?


 

There's been some disgruntlement muttered over the years about the "low quality" of the loadups handed out freely for your abusement. In order to address this "issue", henceforth, all deliverables are to be upgraded to @193, going forward.


Respectfully thine,


Farquhar Throckmorton III

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

"Metallic Pastry" Dept. - Elderly Canucks Garner Prestigious Award!

Foam-O-Graph© - taking the Intelligence out of Artificial!

For regular visitors to th' IoF©, the annual Metallic Pastry™ award ceremony is the red carpet event of the year!
Yes, friends, prestige-wise, this gathering of the glitterati ranks above even the Eurovision Song Contest, and is hotly competed for by musicdom's finest!

Deriving from a cryptic crossword clue signifying Steely Danish, the costly trophy, hand-hewn from repurposed Styrofoam®, honors the band to most successfully replicate the standards of musical excellence and ironic collegiate style of that much-missed combo!

This year our deserving winners are Canuck swing sophisticates Monkey House, whose poolside mood perfectly evokes those lovable varsity troubadours "Walt" n' "Don"! We all "joined in the fun" [above- Ed.] as sultry, pouting marine biologist Kreemé presented them with the coveted award!


Their recent long-playing LP album Crashbox [left - Ed.] is a surefire deck party favorite, and the latest in an extensive catalog stretching back to the Diefenbaker administration!

Youthful Don [no relation - Ed.] Breithaupt [94 - Ed.], the band's lead piano player, was kind enough to grant th' IoF© an exclusive interview in which he waxed loquacious anent th' band's fascinating and oft controversial beginnings high in the snow-girt Canadian Rockies!

FT3 Heyyyy! Donsie baby! Great to have some folks from Canadia on th' isle!

DB Can I ask why every sentence in this piece ends with an exclamation mark?

FT3 Except for that one, which terminates in a query!

DB Gee whillickers, you're right!

FT3 Ha ha!

DB Ha ha!

FT3 Well, thanks for swinging by th' IoF©, Donsie!

DB My pleasure!

FT3 Seriously though folks, I think you do really well, seeing as how English ain't your first language.

DB I had to translate from the original Canadian, of course.

FT3 Did anyone ever tell you the band sounds like Steely Dan? 

DB Steely who?

FT3 Steely Dan with someone who can sing. What I can't understand is why it took me so long to discover you guys.

DB I blame Grimsdale.

FT3 Right! And on behalf of th' Four Or Five Guys©, I pinch your claws, dude. Awesomeness!

DB How do you pronounce that little © again?

FT3 ©.

DB Anyway, please give away all our albums. You have my permission.

FT3 I'd love to, but I can't find that first album.

DB [frowns] Did we make one?

FT3 Ha ha!

DB Ha ha!



Today's deliverable is all their albums except the rare first (now linked in the comments by Splendid Fellow Easily Confused), presented in easy-on-th'-ear @193! You will certainly not regret downloading this swell collection! Run - don't walk! - to your neighborhood record store and buy them all!

 

 

Thursday, June 12, 2025

God Rest His Sweet Soul

Hey, Bri - surf's up!



Brian in Paris, back whenever, on the SMiLE tour, and I never felt anything like it, before or since, a wave of love lifting the audience as he came onstage. It was enough he was there, he'd made it, through everything. He needed a mess of help to stand alone, and everyone involved with that tour was there out of love for him, and that love was palpable, physical, real - we were there to thank the guy for making our lives better in a way that nobody else ever did, or could. The Dumb Angel, the corny goofball who touched souls all around the world, millions of us, millions and millions, countless lonely surfers in our rooms, dreaming of the world he dreamed for us. The dream was real, more real than the actuality of California beach culture, which was just as competitive and exclusive and stupid as any other lifestyle. We basked in the warmth of his summer sun, every one of us ...

 

That's Why God Made The Radio

I was first aware of the Beach Boys hearing I Get Around and California Girls on the radio. Our family didn't have a record player (nor a phone, or a TV with more than one channel) so my soundstage was formed by a certain magic transistor radio, which I can recall in eidetic detail, down to the smell of the plastic and the precious treasure of the gilt grille - god, I loved that radio.

Those two songs sounded like nothing else in my Beatles-dominated head. The harmonies, the arrangements - not that I knew an arrangement from a sack of coal back then - and most of all what they were singing about. The Hit Parade was full of love songs with placeholder lyrics. I Get Around was about freedom, but written in code! I'm a real cool head getting bugged? It was more than a song on the radio - it was a shining signpost to another world out there, far beyond the grey suburban skies of Bakelite Britain. The impact it made was transforming, making me at once hopeful and dissatisfied, a lure and a tease. No California Girls for you, dweeb!

Music could point to somewhere else. Somewhere better. A whole New World. The Beatles never managed that, for all their inspirational energy. But the Beach Boys were already a private pleasure, and when I bought the God Only Knows e.p. they stayed that way. Yikes! The leader looked like a middle-aged gym teacher advertising his baldness with a fishing hat. The rest were fat, homely and wearing cheesy shirts. Not that I knew it, but Brian wasn't even in the picture. I knew none of their names, and didn't particularly care. These kids weren't hip!  There was already a big gulf between the music and the look, and it was something they never quite bridged. But that song! It was a love song, sure, but it was beautiful in a way I couldn't begin to define. Something ... holy? Not religious, although God got a namecheck. Spiritual? None of these words got close to how God Only Knows made me feel. It made everyone who heard it feel the same way, unless they were too busy being tough. And it pointed to somewhere else, in its own way. It was a love song about love, the quality of love, universal, undirected love. Music could be gentle and still be overwhelming. Another revelation. Musically, it's deceptively complex, that is to say it sounds simple enough, but the dizzying chord changes leave musicologists uncertain even as to what key the song's in. 

Destabilized tonal centers, yesterday

 

There is no other pop composer capable of such subtle complexity, and it is a mark of Brian's genius that it all sounds so natural - like a pop song! He was hearing every note, every harmony, every chord, every sound, in his head and then getting the world's best session musicians to recreate them in the studio, directing with a precise and respectful authority beyond his years - he knew exactly what he wanted. Genius doesn't seem big enough a word.

 

 

Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover

Pet Sounds was out of my budget, and the cover showed the same weird disconnection with the music, something that made it look corny and old-fashioned, especially in comparison with the visually suss Beatles, whose zeitgeisty Revolver appeared the same year. My sister's boyfriend played me his copy of Pet Sounds, and I couldn't quite get my teenage head around it. Where were the guitars? It came from a different planet, not just another continent. And where the early hits had (nearly) always carried you outside in the sun, there was an interior quality to this music. It pointed to a different place - inside. And I learned that it was someone called Brian Wilson opening his soul in a way that sounded like nothing else. Orchestrated pop had always been an exercise in adding a bored string section sawing through the changes. The tonal palette (another sack of coal to me at the time) of Pet Sounds owed nothing to anybody, delicious new combinations of sound, "like jewellery", and an overall mood of yearning melancholy that never dipped into self pity and bitterness. This wasn't rock n' roll, you couldn't dance to it, it made no concessions to fashion or form, and it remains a literally peerless artistic achievement. But because pop albums are forever magically linked with their covers, it will be forever tainted by its appearance, much as the group. We listen with our eyes, which were not made for the job.

Teenage Symphony To God

If Pet Sounds was strangely beautiful, the next record lit up everything in an unprecedented super-nova of bliss and joy. Good Vibrations left everything behind in its shining wake. Carl's first breath-of-God sigh, Ah, encapsulates the mood of the entire song; ecstatic wonderment. More has been written about this extraordinary song than perhaps any other pop single, because more went into it, but one central aspect of it doesn't get many column inches; the balanced integration of the sacred and profane, of sex and spirituality. Brian was insistent on it being a rock song, which the beat and Mike Love's lyrics (superb, credit where it's due) emphasise. The good vibrations are very physical - excitations! Why not? And yet they're in the same song as the heavenly chorale, which comes from a higher place. Michelangelo lusted over his godlike David; the division of the erotic and the spiritual is our own schizophrenia. It's doubtful that Brian had any of this in mind, just as he never planned to incorporate destabilised tonal centres in God Only Knows, but that's how genius works, as a mystery. The question where does this music come from leads us up some very interesting paths.

 A Poisoned Chalice

It was the first single I bought with my own money, and the clunk of the Dansette autochange and the Van Allen Belt crackle of the vinyl became part of the ritual. Even my toxically critical father (who could flatten a glass of champagne from across the room) grudgingly admitted this was special. Decades later, in my absence, he'd pointedly throw it in the trash, but the Good Vibrations had been indivisibly part of me since that first Ah! The song, its performance and production, remain beyond the reach of criticism, and like any work of genius our response should be gratitude, and maybe a little humility (what have we done in this life?). In going further and delivering more than Pet Sounds, it posed a cursed question - what next? When you've gone further and deeper and higher than most albums, most symphonies, most careers, in one side of a seven inch single, where do you go from here?

The Vultures Gather

Pretty much everyone's reaction to Heroes & Villains was that it simply wasn't as good as Good Vibrations. It had the complexity, including lyrics that needed interpreting, but seemed to lack heart. I didn't care what the song was about, it didn't connect with me, it was just - there. That relentlessly descending verse melody was like clumping down the cellar steps, again and again, where Good Vibrations had soared. The uniquely brilliant harmonies and inventive arrangement were almost enough to make me want to buy it, but not quite. It was, to my ears, a bunch of people showing off - impressive, yup. But the magic touch, Brian as God's radio, was missing in action. Heroes & Villains was a weirdly academic exercise, and his first artistic step sideways, the first time he trod water instead of surfing the crest of the wave.

I knew none of the now canonical back story - the Beach Boys were still the wholesome Californian dreamspinners for everyone outside Brian's circle - but as Brian's inspiration, instinct, and ear had made musical complexity sound simple and beautiful, the complexities of his life were spinning out of control. The sucking vampires of L.A. covered him with their shiny wings. Drugs, lawyers, personal relationships, drugs, professional pressure, imagined competition, more drugs, more lawyers, crippling mental and physical health problems, all combined in a thermonuclear shitstorm that would have crushed weaker men. The only shelter he had was the studio, increasingly invaded by people who had no right to be there.

Think this is the original cover? It ain't. Check it out!

 

The punters at the racks knew none of this, but the sense of betrayal I felt on buying Smiley Smile on faith was like a punch in the gut. I paid how much!? for this!? Fool me once, pal ... Sgt. Pepper had been released half a year previously, an eon in pop terms. Smiley Smile, although reassessed since, was a kiss-off, the sound of Brian turning his back on the world, and he never really quite came back.

 

 

 

 

 

A Ghost In The Machine, An Angel In The Architecture

My fascination for Brian and the Beach Boys was kickstarted again on the release of  Sunflower, where Brian seemed to be recharged and working at close to full capacity. It still didn't make them exactly hip - the cover styling was literally vanilla, and Dennis' rocking out didn't quite convince. Surf's Up would be a leap into credibility, although Brian's presence had faded into a discarded snapshot. The sudden career vault of Endless Summer was the start of endless tours without him, or a propped-up pod-person version. His reappearances since then have verged from the oh-please-no sad to the qualified triumphant, providing us with enough high happinesses to take us through to the unexpectedly fine That's Why God Made The Radio. He has been indulged as much as loved, which is perhaps right, and music which sounded like baffling dreck at the time is now appreciated as wayward sunbursts of his genius. I have an undying affection for 15 Big Ones, others love Love You much more than they would have at the time. It's Okay!

SMiLE, a project agonisingly close to completion and mired in complication, remains the shining Everest of his art. Where Heroes & Villains under-achieved as a single, it makes perfect sense as an album track, and that's what Brian was doing, making an album that was bigger and brighter than Pet Sounds. He got ninety-nine percent there; a little self-editing (the old "kill you babies" trope), a little arrangement - why he never used his beautiful verse to Roll Plymouth Rock, seemingly forgetting all about it for the oddly shallow Brian Wilson Presents SMiLE recording, is head-scratching - and a little studio polish and we'd have had the album in the racks. A weeks work, if they'd let him be. Life is complicated, right? We're beyond lucky to have what we have, we're blessed.

Death never makes me sad, but life often does. Brian effectively left the building decades ago, but you know what they say about art ... he gave the best of himself to us, and that will live forever, or as near as makes no difference. At a particularly low point of my life, I heard his high harmonies in a blue sky dream, a brief phrase, I want to live the life, I want to live my life, a blissful comfort I woke from crying. I'd heard the music in my sleep. No ears, no vocal cords required. This is what Brian heard all the time, and brought down to us as best he could with everything he had. I know where harmony comes from, and I have Brian to thank for that. We all do.

 



 

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's where the light gets in



... and as an extra, here's a gorgeous swansong, a combination of the best of That's Why God Made The Radio and No Pier Pressure. No filler, no whimsy, virtually no Mike Love. Brian went out on a high. Click the pic!


 


 

Sunday, June 1, 2025

Modern Life Dept. - Homeless Guy Will Eat Your Household Dust


Meet Umlaut U. Sturdley, CEO Sturdley Hygiene (Intelligent Technologies)! He's responded to these troubled times in which we're livin' in by showing some good old American can-do chutzpah! A bootstrap start-up operating from Sturdley's designer duplex shopping cart under the Antelope Freeway, his client list now boasts such A-list celebs as Megan Thee Stallion, Grimes, Kid Rock, Brooklyn Beckham, Buckley Carlson, and Chad Kroeger!

We relaxed poolside whilst Kreemé [left, and 18 my ass - Ed.] served signature whelkwater n' Clorox smoothies!

FT3 Heyy! Umlaut, my man! Lookin' good!

UUS I like to make an effort for my clients.

FT3 So - tell us, exactly what is it you do for your clients?

UUS I offer a personalized home hygiene program that obviates the need for costly maid service and vacuum cleaners. Basically I scarf up all the dust with my face, consuming it as I go.

FT3 I see you've grown your beard to serve this functionality.

UUS That's right, Farq. Note dual directional whiskers, for those hard-to-reach corners.

FT3 A human Roomba®! How did you get into this lucrative line of work?

UUS Well, it ain't exactly lucrative. I don't get paid. I do it to eat. Celebrity house dust is full of high-end nutrients and pro-vitamins, not to mention Class A drugs. A lot of Ketamine right now, I'm noticing.

FT3 Ri-ight! But how did it all start?

UUS I was panhandling on the offramp one time, and Kid Rock [left - Ed.] flipped the bird and told me to eat his dust. Which got me to thinking.

FT3 You spotted an opportunity?

UUS That's right, Farq. So I said I would, and the deal was struck right there. And I left everything so shiny at his place not even the Feds could find anything. He eats a lot pizza, by the way, I do his house and I'm like full of crust. And high as a cat's back.

FT3 Well, this has been fascinating, Umlaut! And you've brought an album with you to share with th' Four or Five Guys©?

UUS Album? You mean like a record album? Nope.

FT3 Well, duh.

 

This post financed in part by Debbie Debutante's Dipso Dungeon, Pismo Beach, CA.


 

Thursday, May 29, 2025

It Crawled From The Crawlspace Dept. - Rodrigo Amarante [Added Content Advisory]


GOOD TO SEE THIS REPEAT POST IS GETTING A LOAD OF HITS - A BEAUTIFUL "KEEPER" ALBUM YOU DON'T SEE OFTEN!

Fans of the Netflix series Narcos may remember the theme song; it sounded like the oldest and saddest song in the world, sung by the world's oldest and saddest man. It was written and sung by Rodrigo Amarante, whose first solo album, Cavalo, 2013, didn't include it. The album also had no cover, just a plain sleeve with functional lyric inserts. Sometimes, less is less. It seemed like Amarante was going out of his way to keep his work a secret. It worked. I hope he was happy selling five copies, in spite of being Rolling Stone's sixth best album of that year.

There's one hurdle you have to overcome before you listen to this. It's sung in a mix of Portugese, French, English, and Japanese, and you may be allergic to songs you don't understand. Like, you know, about fifty percent of pop and rock songs sung in English. Louie Louie? What's that about?

Musically, it has an idiosyncratic genius that reminds me - some - of Brian Wilson's Smiley Smile/Friends/Wild Honey period. There's that spare clarity, that same hallucinogenic use of instrumental texture, that same feeling of being conceived in a crystal bubble floating above our world. And the songs, like Wilson's, are very much his own, and couldn't be anyone else's. One listen might make you a fan for life. A frustrated fan wanting more.

I added the missing Narcos song, Tuyo, and done did him a sleeve design what which I like to think reflects the chromatic brilliance of his music. This is gorgeous stuff.

 

More, sorta, came with a second solo album, Drama, a scant eight years later, and at least he got a cover together this time [left - Ed.]. It sounds a little less magic than the first, you ax me, but your mileage may differ. Since then, disregarding a soundtrack for Entebbe, a movie dubbed "dull" and "pointless" in the most charitable reviews, nada.

Dude, where are you?


Wednesday, May 28, 2025

The Association Recovered Dept. - 1969

 


The Association's self-titled [eponymous - Ed.] album from '69 slipped between the cracks in the fracturing counterculture like everything else they did after their last proper hit single two long years previous. Too square for the hip, too hip for the square, they were a band that just didn't fit anywhere any more.

In a misguided attempt to look conceptual - or something - they saddled the album with artwork [left - Ed.] that better suited hard blues-rock than ... than ... the uncategorisable music they were making. You can almost hear the design being pitched - it's like they discovered Stonehenge on the moon, man! And the stones spell out your name! How freaking far out is that? Right? Amirite?

So anyway, I came up with an alternative that better expresses the mood of the album, and if I have to spell that out for you in moon rocks I've failed, haven't I?

If you know the band only from their sappy sunshine pop hits (don't get me wrong - I love sappy sunshine pop hits) the adventurousness and idiosyncracy of this album may come as a surprise. Some of it is a little weird? Upspeaking? Weird and beautiful. It really owes nothing to anyone, except Brian Wilson, and we all owe him.

I've melded in a rare contemporary song, Carney Creek, for that full girlfriend experience, but left the track order unchanged.

They never made a bad album, but this is truly special.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG


This post ratified by the Pop Of Rome (Pop's Plumbing n' Pipe, Rome, KY)

 

Sunday, May 25, 2025

Perfect Tens Dept. - We're Only In It For The Money

Who's your dreamiest Mother?


 

Any choice of a Zappa Perfect Ten is going to be contentious, but as a general rule the later album design - and defining later is contentious - can be a tad bland (you know what I mean), and Cal Schenkel's art is anything but. There are few rock act/graphic designer partnerships that reach the Lewis Carrol/John Tenniel level of synchronous symbiosis, but Schenkel and Zappa kicked the entire rock caboodle to a scary new location and dared you to join them.

Calvin sez: "Frank came up with the concept early that summer, and we rushed around trying to find props and get it in the works as soon as possible. I went out and bought a bunch of old mannequins to convert into wax figures of the Mothers. This was accomplished in an old loft, high over the Garrick Theater/Café a Go Go complex. Many hours and pounds of plaster served in the task. The photography was done by Jerry Shatzberg, a real photographer, in a real New York photography studio. This was my first actual album cover and I was impressed. Other than the wax dummies and the collage in the background of the front cover, I mostly just got to art-direct the thing."

Is this the first example of a pop album being deliberately offensive? It's been claimed that the gatefold [above - Ed.] was spoofing the trend for rock bands to drag it up, but that didn't really start until the 'seventies. Jerry Schatzberg pulled it off with The Stones (er ...) back in '66 [left - Ed.], but that was in the same satirical spirit, more Monty Python than Mame. So the target of the barb was, of course, the Beatles, who'd adorably camped it up as toytown soldiers for Sgt. Pepper. You want dressing up? Zappa was saying, how 'bout these apples?

The original outer cover, before it got flipped by the suits at Verve, already fouling their Jockey shorts over the lyrical content, was Schenkel's virtuoso riff on Peter Blake's Pepper assemblage. Go here for the roll-call. That's really Hendrix, too - groovy! McCartney weaseled out when Zappa asked him for permission, saying the matter should be left to "business managers". The perfect example of Corporate Shill vs. Artist.

In '68, nobody under thirty was snickering at The Beatles. Only the Vegas supperclub tuxedo set was roasting the hippies. Zappa was being offensive to everyone, from LBJ's Great Society, to the record company, to the counterculture, to the pop establishment as exemplified by their most respected icons and their fans, right through to - and this is incredible - us. His audience, the saps what scarfed it up, making it a Top Thirty album. It's this inclusivity - if you will - that makes the album a satirical benchmark without peer. Satire is generally comforting for the side that's not being targeted. Zappa leaves nobody out - everybody in this room is wearing a uniform, and don't kid yourself.

Satire usually has a short shelf life, but WOIIFTM has outlasted its targets by being musically outstanding (rewarding limitless plays) and snork-out-loud funny. It also stands as an accurate documentary of 'sixties LA culture and a bleak vision of our own future-present. In 2005, the U.S, National Recording Registry lauded the album as "culturally, historically, and æsthetically significant ..."

Excellent musical analysis here, should youse bums be desirous!


Friday, May 23, 2025

James Taylor Must Die Already! Dept.

You, probably, when you had hair. And friends.

 

Are you ready to rock? This, in '74, was the most-asked question of the nation's teens, and the answer was an overwhelming affirmative! Yes! they cried, we are ready! Are we going to have a good time? You betcha! And their 8-track entertainment of choice en route to see Journey at the Cow Palace? Why, that would be these here three albums! Or two of them, anyways!



 Montrose!
Are we ready to rock? ARE WE READY TO ROCK???!!! Fuckin' A!


 Rick Derringer!
Are we ready to rock? ARE WE READY TO ROCK???!!! Fuckin' A!


 Left End! Who?? Getting stiffed by their management ruined their career, but on the evidence of this swell album, they were already ROCKIN' THE HOUSE DOWN while you were still back-combing your hair in the bathroom!
Fuckin' A!

 

 

 

 

 

The question, of course, remains as vital as ever, though not as oft asked. Are you, th' Four Or Five Guy©, still prepared, at least mentally, to rock? I am. When the call comes, I will be there, raising my thin fist as the liturgical response whistles thru my bridgework. Yes, I am ready.



 

 

This post inspired by a sudden desire to hear some straight ahead, unapologetic rock n' roll with a shit ton of electric fucking guitar. TURN IT UP!

Tuesday, May 20, 2025

Irritating Irish Tenor Dennis Day Hosts IoF©'s Irish Tenor Week! Dept.

One year's free subscription to th' 4/5g© who can explain what's going on in the background!

 

You'll know irritating Irish tenor Dennis Day from his Blarney ballads on The Jack Benny Radio Show, which, together with the pummeling huckster ads make the show nearly unlistenable today. Back then, only Crosby and Sinatra offered relief from the baffling fad for flutey-voiced male vocalists building to the high octave on the last trembling note. Day wasn't the worst offender, he was a talented mimic and likeable character actor, but if I ever hear him sing Clancy Lowered The Boom again I'll t'row th' wireless out th' window, dat oi will, bejaysus and begorrah. Here it is, should youse bums be desirous:


So that about wraps it up for Irish Tenor Week here at th' IoF© (we're starting it retroactively)! By way of a reward here's a swell and mostly unknown slab of polished yacht rock from another D.D., Dane Donohue, who doesn't cover Clancy Lowered The Boom. Even if yacht rock gives you gas, you have to admit this is as good as it gets. Look it up on discogs or something, or go here for the skinny.


This post mediated by Uncle Sturdley's International Criminal Court, The Hague, Coon County, TN.

Friday, May 16, 2025

The Shock Of The Old



Pop Culture In Fractal Recursion


The standard critical response to *AI art* is that it is basically just a reshuffle of existing components; there's nothing new, it's soulless data-scraping and lacks the vital creative spark that generates and shapes *human art*.

The problem is that popular culture has long been operating unconsciously within the AI model, before ever an AI algorithm was a pixel in the third eye of a coder. In that context, our highly-treasured individual human creativity is an identical process of data-scraping and recombining existing components into something that passes as “new”. This is not something an artist wants to hear. They treasure their personal take on the world and their unique way of expressing it, defending it against any incursions by AI robot forces, which they see as threatening their right to earn a living through their art. But artists have no rights - it has always been a struggle for artists to get anyone to even pay attention, let alone the rent. Historically, artists are entitled to poverty and loneliness, and anything else is gravy. AI won’t change that, and it won’t diminish the strength of the individual’s motivation to create.

Pop music, the focus of this piece because my obsession with it goes back over sixty years, has long conceded its tent pole position in the circus of pop culture. From the late ‘fifties for a decade or so, it was youth culture’s driving force, its beating heart and a banner to march under. However much contemporary pop is valued today, it is more part of the fabric of living (sometimes called “the internet”), rather than its hub, and the idea that it has a culture-shifting momentum and evolutionary progression in itself is no longer as current as it was. Because that would be stupid. Because pop music is carried by culture, where it used to be the other way around.

In 1976 the Sex Pistols seemed to be the revolutionary jolt the music business needed, a rebirth of the wild anarchy of rock n’ roll. Something new. But that same punk teen spirit spurted into the face of the nation’s youth over a decade previously; the same two or three chords, the same snotty attitude, the same fuck-you-granddad noise rattled thousands of garages across the USA, ironically inspired by a belching busload of snaggletooth Brits who’d discovered American R&B. By ’76 the circle had gone a whole turn, and what was new to a seventeen year-old sounded pretty familiar to anyone who’d picked up The Who on pirate radio a lifetime before. For all the tabloid outrage the snotty oiks stirred up, the shock didn’t run as deep as the seismic tremor started by Elvis, gyrating his hips on primetime family TV back in the late ‘fifties. Even out of shot, he hit the mark, his aim was true, and the walls of the city shook. Pop culture was born, and it’s been going around in hula-orbit circles ever since.

My own parents, hearing Are You Experienced? thought it was just noise, a horrible hostile racket. Today’s parents, on hearing their children’s and their grandchildren’s music, have a different reaction, because they’ve heard something very much like it before. Many times. Pop culture’s defining wonder was to be new, exciting, to shake things up. This is no longer possible. Pop has become Linus’ security blanket, woven from familiar threads.

It’s not just pop - contemporary jazz may be brilliantly virtuosic, but it has yet to throw up another Louis Armstrong, another Monk, another Django. Every note blown is in homage to the original giants who lived the life in the times. Once the wildest of music, the most out there, the newest and most thrilling, jazz has become an academic exercise in respect for the form. It can be enjoyable, moving, technically impressive, but would you rather listen to an album by someone who reminds you of Charlie Parker, or Charlie Parker? That popular culture, in any form, seems to have lost the ability to gestate genius should be of grave concern. Genius is a matter of opinion? There are so many out there we take them for granted? Okay. Everything’s good.

I’m sorry, but his has been done before, and better, isn’t something anyone wants to hear. "Better is just your opinion, and everything’s new for somebody, right? What’s your point, Boomer?" Climbing a mountain gives you a wider view than struggling in the foothills. You can see the path you took, all the wrong turnings, the obstacles you overcame. No use yelling to those guys down there, they can’t hear you and will bump their heads on the same rocks you did. Getting old is climbing a mountain. Boomer means older, nothing else. It means further up that mountain. It doesn’t even guarantee a more privileged view than those deep in the valley below; we may still be staring  at our calloused old feet in the dirt, trying to remember why we ever came up this damn pile of rocks in the first place. But perspective is hard-won, and worth the struggle, and to reduce this universal process to value-less calendar categorisation is one of the worst detours we can take. GenWhatev goggles are the wrong prescription for seeing the state of pop culture. Or anything, really.

The prime directive of pop music used to be newness, the first time this stuff had ever happened! Yow! You couldn’t wait to get that record home and dive into it. You pored over the album art on the bus, maybe slipping out the disc to get clues from the grooves. It was exciting, it was a message from the front line to you, so you could catch up! It was part of a whole scene happening, and if those words sound like a corny Hallmark message, that’s because that’s what they became.

If your parents like your music, it’s not your music. It may have fine qualities, but it’s not youth culture. What’s wrong with family bonding at a pop concert? It’s creepy, that’s what. Would I have wanted my parents to come to a gig with me? To sit and dig my albums with me in my room? But that is where we are - mom n’ pop listen to their kids’ music and say that’s nice! It sounds like, it reminds me of, sorta ... It wasn’t always like this. Ripples from a stone thrown in water diminish and flatten, and music can never make that splash again. The flattening of culture is subtle, unnoticed. We’re living in a world where pop culture is reduced to soothing undulations on the surface of the internet.

The internet is nothing but surface, a glittering, hypnotic veil that blinds us from the vault of heaven and the submarine depths. Fractal recursion, a hall of mirrors for the hive mind to celebrate itself, selfies, memes and streams, likes and lols! This is community, this is culture. You are not looking at the internet - it’s looking at you. You are not using the internet - it’s using you. You are not clicking and scrolling and surfing through the internet - it’s clicking and scrolling and surfing through you. You are not on the internet - the internet is on you.

Context shapes content. Mozart’s music sounded the way it did because it was articulated by the cultural matrix supporting it (curly wigs and catgut). In pop’s early days, there was no context - businessmen struggled to make sense, and a buck, out of what seemed like unpredictable chaos. How do you market something that wasn’t made to be marketed? That had already moved on by the time you got its illegible signature on a contract? It took a few years, but eventually the money won - it always does. Abbie Hoffman became a Wall Street suit, Pink Floyd shilled for Volkswagen, the Hendrix “Estate” sold the dirt from his grave. The context for pop culture became business, where the most urgent issue is risk reduction, finding the surest way to get a return on investment. Which is, rinse and repeat, don’t fuck with the formula (perfect pop analogy: Brian Wilson and Mike Love, the unhappy marriage of art and commerce). Fractal recursion sets in; it looks the same but the slight differences make it seem “new” long enough to hold the attention of consumers through a cash transaction.

Movie making has been in the hall of mirrors since George Lucas discovered that treating the audience like none-too-bright kids filled cinemas, an infantilism that crossed into “gaming” before crossing back into movies. Superheroes, shoot-‘em-ups, remakes, sequels, prequels, rinse and repeat, check the boxes. “Meta” was chosen as a brand name for a reason. Everything refers back to everything else, and pop culture feeds off itself. An unhealthy diet.

Checking the boxes. Data scraping. Research and reshuffle. Functions not limited to computers. The struggling artist makes art necessarily informed by, shaped by, influenced by the art the artist has been exposed to. There’s a wet brain search engine at work, recombining results in a way that seems new and personal to the creator. Nothing comes from nothing; out of that, this; if you bake bricks you don’t get bread.

The (inter)net result of fractal recursion is an overall homogenisation of pop culture, a dulling of the edges. Fractal changes in a familiar landscape, endless variations on a theme. Pop has forever lost the magical, startling power to be new. Everything’s new to somebody? The “now” of pop culture is new to nobody. Everybody can hear the echoes of the echoes, recognise the influences of the influences, check the references to the references. They’re cited in reviews, like ingredients in an old recipe book, handed down over generations. This is not fine dining, it’s junk food.

Artistic expression has become inseparable from the idea of internet “sharing”, as we’d share a picture of a kitten or mental health updates or a meme. It wasn’t always this way. Art, poetry, music - these used to be private pleasures, pursued for their own sake. The activity was valuable in itself, improved life, made you a better and more receptive person. Exhibiting the result, begging for praise, making money out of it, were never the primary motives, and need not be now. Talent will out, or not.

Art’s worth is not to be judged by others, does not live or die by their opinion, and the final result is almost a side effect of the process that created it. For the authentic artist, the finished work is a dead thing, a palimpsest of layered memory. The life of art is in the activity of creative process; art as verb, not noun. It’s a mistake to think you can’t do it because you’re not an “artist”. In this private process, this secret unfolding, we learn to appreciate those who do it better, and crucially, we learn to recognise the real thing. We may not be able to define it - who cares? It’s beyond the limits of language - but we know when it’s happening.

Inspiration and insight, the seeds of art, are featherweight, easily blown away. We can’t recreate the hornet’s nest “community” of the internet as a space where they can flourish. But we can cultivate 
a secret garden within ourselves, without the pathological need to be seen and heard, to share every passing moment, every shifting mood, every unconsidered opinion. Break the connection, break the habit, turn it off, turn away. Go for a walk in the garden.

And leave your damned phone at home; it’s Zuckerberg’s Eye of Sauron seeing right into you.

 

 

 

With thanks to th' Four Or Five Guy© who used "the shock of the old" in a comment - step up and take a bow!





Monday, May 12, 2025

Swell Readin' Dept. - Lumpy Gravy Libretto


Possibly
the finest lyrics to grace any instrumental album. Sing along!


Spider: The way I see it, Barry, this should be a very dynamite show.

Spider: Bit of nostalgia for the old folks!

Gilly: I'm advocating dark clothes.
Becky: If I'm not alone . . . How long have I been asleep?
Gilly: As long as I have.
Maxine: Did you ever live in a drum?
Becky: No.
Maxine: Well then you aren't me.
Gilly: I only dreamt I lived in a drum. Ever since it got dark. Dreaming is hard.
Susan Kelly: Yea, but with nothing over your head?
Gilly: No, just light, over my head. And underneath too.
Susan Kelly: I don't think I could take it without anything over my head.
Maxine: Mm-mmh, me neither.
Becky: Well why don't you go out and see what's out there?
Gilly: Well . . . I don't know if that's what's out there.
Maxine: Now that's a thought.
Gilly: Yes . . .
Maxine: If you'd like . . .
Gilly: But still you can say darker and darker. I don't know what the outside of this thing looks like at all.
Guy #1: I do. It's dark and murky.
John Kilgore: How do you get your . . . your water so dark?
Guy #1: 'Cause I'm paranoid. I'm very paranoid. And the water in my washing machine turns dark out of sympathy.
John Kilgore: Out of sympathy?
Guy #1: Yes.
John Kilgore: Um . . . where can I get that?
Guy #1: At your local drugstore.
John Kilgore: How much?

Guy #1: It's from Kansas.

Motorhead: Bored out .90 over with three Stromberg 97s.

Larry: Almost Chinese, huh?
Girl #1: Yeah!
Motorhead: Good bread, 'cause I was making, uh . . . $2.71 an hour

Motorhead: I keep switching girls all the time, because if I'm able to find a girl with really a groovy car that ain't build up, man, I'll go steady with her for a while until I'd build up her car and blow out the engine! I worked in a cheesy newspaper company for a while but that was terrible, I wasn't making enough money to build anything . . . And then I worked in a printing company and a coupla gas stations. Oh, at the gas station where I was working my brother just got married, and uh . . . he bought a new car and his wife was having a kid and all this miserable stuff, and he needed a job so I gave him a job at the gas station of which I was fired because, you know, he was gonna work there. And he had his car on the rack and he was lubing and changing tires and everything all the time. And so they got fired because he was goofing off, man, and he just kept taking parts and working on his car day and night. And so he lost that job and he went to work in another gas station. He took that one, you know, so he could feed the kids and that. And I went to work in an aircraft company, and uh . . . I was building these planes. I worked on the XB-70, I was the last welder on there. Yeah but, it was pretty good bread because I was making, uh . . . $2.71 an hour. I was making a hundred and a quarter a week, and uh . . . yeah, it was good enough money to be working on, so I got an Oldsmobile, a groovy Olds. But I was going with this chick at that time. By the time I got the Olds running decently, she went out and tore up the engine, and the trans, and a—her and a girlfriend they get in there and booze it up and tear up the seats. Just ripped the seats completely out. So uh . . . when, I got a '56 Olds, which was this one chick's I was going with, and uh . . . we used to drive out all over the place and finally she got rid of that, and uh . . . I got another pickup!

Yeah, man . . . full speed power . . . yeah, baby . . . but anyway, man . . . I put sixteen bucks . . . aw yeah . . . hot daddy . . . whiskey . . . tornado . . . where it's at, baby . . . Otis Redding, Joe Tex . . .

Oh man, I don't know if I can go through this again!

Ronnie Williams: Buh-bah-bahdn
Spider: Oh!
John: There it went again..
Spider: It's a little pig . . . with wings
Pig With Wings: EE . . .
Gross Man: I hear you've been having trouble with pigs and ponies!

Calvin: To . . . just the opposite . . . going around to the other direction

Calvin: How 'bout us, don't we get any?
Gail: We don't get any . . .
Calvin: That's very distraughtening
Gail: We don't get any because we're otherwise

Spider: Everything in the universe is . . . is . . . is made of one element, which is a note, a single note. Atoms are really vibrations, you know, which are extensions of THE BIG NOTE, everything's one note. Everything, even the ponies. The note, however, is the ultimate power, but see, the pigs don't know that, the ponies don't know that. Right?
Monica: You mean just we know that?
Spider: Right!

Spider: "Merry Go Round! Merry Go Round! Do-Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do!" and they called that "doing their thing."
John: Oh yeah, that's what doing your thing is!
Spider: The thing is to put a motor in yourself.

Louis: Grrr . . . Arf arf arf ar-ar-ar-ar-ar! Teeth out there, and ready to attack 'em. . . I had to fight back and hit 'em, like . . . you know . . . hit 'em and hit 'em and hit 'em, and . . . kick 'em and kick 'em and . . .
Roy: Did they get on top of you?
Louis: No, I fought so back, hard back, and, it was . . .
Roy: Hard back?
Louis: White!
Roy: White?
Louis: Yeah, white ugliness
Roy: Did it have teeth?
Louis: And it was two, it was two boogey-men that were on the side and, we were . . . already blocked the entrance, so I had to . . . I had to kick, I had to fight to f-four or five boogey-men in front of me . . .
Roy: Then . . . but maybe he can turn into . . . I wonder if he could maybe be [...] PFFFT!
Louis: Yes, extremely vicious
Roy: I don't know, those po— . . . I heard those ponies are really vicious!
Louis: I know . . . but, I know they're vicious, but they . . .
Roy: Their claws!
Louis: He d-d . . . he doesn't have to be able to do it
Roy: They get on top of you, and they just tear you apart
Louis: I know . . .
Roy: Tee . . .
Louis: Scars over here, see, scars right here. Yeah . . .
Roy: Teeth to limb! Teeth to limb! I mean, toe to ta— . . . man, I hope they don't get him
Louis: Ponies! I-i-if-if, if . . . is . . .
Roy: Was it white? Are you sure it wasn't w-white, I mean, uh, black, or . . .
Louis: Well, I think they're white, but I was too scared to notice their physical . . .
Roy: Gold or something?
Louis: I was too, I was too scared to no . . . n-no . . . uh-no . . . uh-notice their physical, ahh . . . appearance, 'cause they . . . they-they were attackin' me!
Roy: They were?
Louis: Yeah, they were . . . they were attackin' me!
Roy: What were they doin' to you?
Louis: Well, they were . . . they were like, they were . . . comin' and surroundin' me 'n everything else, and they were attackin' me and I had to fight back, fight, fight and fight back and . . . pick up sticks . . .
Roy: Pick-up-sticks?
Louis: Yes, pick up sticks, you know?
Roy: I used to play that game, Pick-up-sticks
Louis: Me too, did you ever play that game?
Roy: Yeah!
Louis: Yes! That's funny! HA HA HA!
Roy: Anyway, come back to the horse . . . back to the horse? To the pony
Louis: HA HA HA HA! Now . . .
Roy: Anyway . . .
Louis: Yes, pony, or . . .
Roy: President . . .
Louis: Or pope, I dunno, ah, I dunno . . .
Roy: I don't know . . .
Louis: Something down there is dangerous.
Roy: Could be a cigar or somethin'
Louis: Yeah . . .
Roy: A cigar?
Louis: A cigar? Naw, you're insane, come on!
Roy: Nohhh, no . . . I remember when I was a . . . no I don't remember. Those were the days!
Louis: Boy, you must spend all your life down here!
Roy: That was before the days of those horses
Louis: Yes, before the days of the . . . all the . . . ow-uh . . . ponies or boogey-men or somethin', what's out there
Roy: But then there was a . . . what was it then? No pimples?
Louis: No, I never did.
Roy: Sure!
Louis: Positively
Roy: You had to have 'em.
Louis: Naw, naw . . .
Roy: You've got one right in your nose right now!
Louis: HA HA HA HA! Scrtch-ch-ch! Scratchin' them . . .
Roy: Boy, I'm gettin' tired, man. We should go . . .
Louis: Oh, yes . . .
Roy: We should go to sleep
Louis: Oh, yeah . . .
Roy: I just hope he comes back . . .
Louis: Yes . . . Listen!
Roy: I think I'll pray for him
Louis: I think I'll join you
Roy: You do yours and I'll do mine . . .
Louis: Okay . . . HA HA HA HA!
Roy: And we'll hope for the best. HEH HEH HEH!
Louis: HA HA HA HA HA! I'll pray for [...] Motorhead
Roy: Now I lay me down to sleep . . .

Roy: Amen!
Louis: Amen . . .

Ronnie Williams: Oh yeah! That's just fine! Come on boys! Just one more time!

Spider: I think I can explain about . . . about how the pigs' music works
Monica: Well, this should be interesting
Spider: Remember that they make music with a very dense light, and remember about the smoke standing still and how they . . . they really get uptight when you try to move the smoke, right?
Monica: Right
John: Yeah?
Spider: I think the music in that dense light is probably what makes the smoke stand still. Any sort of motion has this effect on . . . on the ponies' manes. You know, the thing on their neck
John: Hmm . . .
Spider: As soon as the pony's mane starts to get good in the back any sort of mo . . . motion, especially of smoke or gas, begins to make the ends split.
John: That's the basis of all their nationalism. Like if they can't salute the smoke every morning when they get up . . .
Spider: Yeah, it's a vicious circle. You got it.

Gross Man: Pony!

Larry: Drums are too noisy, 'n you've got no corners to hide in!

John: So when she's beating him over the nose with a tire iron. and then we both jump away and disappear, and the pig will turn around and there'll be this pony

Spider: Oh no, man . . .
Monica: Oh . . .
Spider & Monica: Kangaroos!
Monica: And then they eat it when they get home
John: If it's still alive

Spider: Envelops the bath tub

Calvin: 'Cause round things are . . . are boring . . . hhh . . .


Original transcription edited from St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage. And a reminder that the album clocks in at just over thirty minutes.