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| Sitarswami Zoomcalls Mrs. Myra Nussbaum! Actual Foam-O-Graph© derived from sustainable shade-grown technologies, going forward! |
Older readers will remember with some fondness elderly Bikini Tester Mrs. Myra Nussbaum. Although no longer part of the core narrative here at th' IoF©, her occasional lectures have proved as entertaining as they are educational [i.e. neither - Ed.], and garnered the prestigious Pork Bend Golden Pigs Knuckle Award for Use Of Internet. Kudos, Mrs. Myra!
In the first of what is sure to become a popular regular FoamFeature®, our iconic geriatric is pleased to present her first The Mrs. Myra Nussbaum Interviews interview, with reclusive mystic and Charter Four Or Five Guy© Sitarswami!
Mr. Swami spoke via computer technology from his lamasery high atop snow-girt Smeltville Mound, ND.
MMN Hello?
SS Is this Mister Beans? Art Beans?
MMN Hello? Am I pressing the right button, thing?
SS Mr. Beans, I'm calling about your car's extended warranty, Mr. Beans.
MMN For heaven's sakes! Why is this writing so small?
SS Hello? Art? Art Beans of 232a Crimp Street, Mingewater?
MMN Will someone get me my reading glasses? What's that buzzing sound? Oh dear.
[ERROR 404 NOT FOUND- Ed.]
Well, there we have it! To celebrate this achievement. Mr. Swami has generously donated one (1) autygraphed box set of his None More Sixties curatorial initiatives! To qualify for this once-in-a-lifetime Dream Deliverable™, simply state in a comment your favorite thing, like, literally, ever! Mr. Swami will choose the lucky winner from the entries received! Oh boy!
These swell long-playing disc record albums contain up to literally, like, dozens of sure-fire party favorites! Who will be the lucky winner?? Not you, probably! LOOOOOOSER!!!!!
Go ahead - don't be shy! Name your favorite thing and you stand a chance - a very small chance - just shy of no chance at all - of being the lucky winner!!! Oboy! The internet doesn't get better than this!
ReplyDeleteFalse Memory Foam is my favorite thing. And Count Chocula.
ReplyDeleteYou missed being flogged with a wet pool noodle by Rholonne Déodoranté.
DeleteChocolate.
ReplyDeleteWeirdo.
DeleteOh, you know of something better?????
DeleteTwo.
DeleteAsthmador cigarettes. My favorite thing ever.
ReplyDeleteOK. I'll bite.
Deletehttps://storymaps.arcgis.com/stories/355590c003bf4605b9e92e3f2ec43fc4
In 1980’s UK I heard from one friend who had purchased Dr Potters Asthma Cigarettes, they contained stramonium and other stuff that apparently made you hallucinate greatly if eaten! - that is not a typo. I never tried them, but I believe he only did it once, as it experience was so frightening.
DeleteThat's datura (in Australia) and Jimson Weed in the U.S.
Deletehttps://falsememoryfoam.blogspot.com/2022/06/tvs-sid-slaw-teaches-dept-antipodean.html
DeleteANON RF: Raindrops on roses. Followed closely by whiskers on kittens.
ReplyDelete😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
DeleteIt's all so close in my mind. Comes down to 3 things: Myra, cheez whiz, and only standing a small chance. I hit the trifecta with this one. --Muzak McMusics
ReplyDeleteI hope that Sitarswami looks upon your humble submission with the grace and charity for which he has become a byword. If he doesn't, he can fuck off, right?
DeleteThe company of my Grandchildren: both playing instruments,doing sports and love joining me walk around the bush identifying flora and fauna.Beats any manufactured entertainment!
ReplyDeleteWaxing philospophical: becoming old has this fantastic revelation: when you've been there, done that, when you've seen the great movies, read the great books, listened to the great music, and everything that pretends to be new in culture/entertainment is seen as another shuffle of a very over-played deck, the whole notion of entertainment can be seen for what it is (as you say); manufactured. The natural world (which we're cursed to live on the edge of) has truth and richness still, and always will.
DeleteHowdy pardner,
ReplyDeleteIn this whole wide world of course my favorite things are the Mrs' and the boy, but I'm also partial to those Big Eyed Kid paintings by the Keans', Tiny Tim's autograph on "God Bless Tiny Tim" (how I got that is a story in itself), and that postcard autographed by Divine that I really should have framed.
As ever,
Billy Gates of the Doubble X ranch.
My friend .. Grace !! and also "Krapao Muu Sap"!! oh, and having a snowball's chance in Prathet Thai of winning!!
ReplyDeleteBeing anwhere in the western EU, so long as its in the company of my wife. Sorry, Myra (and the fact that Mrs Mac is standing over me while I type this, with a dagger in one hand and a derringer in the other, has nothing to do with my thought. And, yes, I am blinking furiously!).
ReplyDeleteMusic was my first love
ReplyDeleteAnd it will be my last
Music of the future
And music of the past
To live without my music
Would be impossible to do
In this world of troubles
My music pulls me through
If I'm not in when the box set is delivered, please leave it by the japanese maple in the back yard, thanks.
being the harbinger of truth ...
ReplyDeleteit can be a blessing or a curse of course
i rarely speak out anymore why bother ??? but i'm satisfied knowing what i know
woody
I'd like to ask you all to send out ætheric vibrations to Sitarswami. in order that he might descend to th' IoF© in meat puppet form to bestow judgement.
ReplyDeleteOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Buttons!...no, wait..I meant, "pie!"
ReplyDeleteI want this t-shirt.
DeleteTrade ya for the 'swami stuff!
DeleteSitarswami is not at his desk in the ineffable void right now, so in his absence I award you the prize! I'll upload the deliverable later.
DeleteStill mandletorte...
ReplyDeleteThis will come as a body-blow to the Fizzy Mandletorte community.
Deletea long standing dispute between the good citizens of Königsbach and the burghers of Pforzheim...the Margraves of Baden, based in Pforzheim, were deeply committed to their Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte, whilst (nice, eh?) the horse & cattle dealers of lowly Königsbach remained committed to their mandletorte and riviulskuche with the odd chocolate schneckennudeln thrown in. What role any of this may have played in the Thirty Years War or the subsequent War of the Palatinian Succession remains unclear, but the French occupation of 10 October 1688, whose 337th Anniversary was duly noted yesterday in much of the North/Western World, greatly increased the presence of very buttery, layered, or flaky doughs in both locales. The later role of Bertha Benz and her sons (circa 1888) adds to the mystery but there seems no truth to the rumor of efforts to fuel cars with pastry or cake related materials. Regardless, mandletorte abides.
DeleteSnorkers wins this exclusive box set of collectable collectibes curated by Sitarswami!
ReplyDeleteAnyone else clicking the link will suffer the Curse O' Foam® [ FX: Farfisa Chord O' Doom™] manifested as Yog Sothoth crawling from the noisome pit and voiding his eldritch bowels in your scanties drawer while you sleep. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Go ahead, Snorkers! https://workupload.com/file/MbJYjqF6Wuj
Yay! One HUNDRED and fifty-five totally different, yet charmingly slices of black wax, for all of our enlightment? Six maxed-out silver discs worth! A joyful Saturday !
DeleteI may ALREADY be a weiner!
DeleteHooray for Snorkers and Sitarswami! I was going to post a link in celebration, and the song "Titties and Beer" flashed through my mind ... but I guess growing older does change your perspective!
ReplyDeleteJohn Bassette played at my college, either as an opening act or as an inexpensive headliner. He had a nice rap about how he liked the song "Willin'" but that if you took "weed, whites, and wine" at the same time, you'd have trouble walking, much less driving a truck. And then he spun this little ditty for us, residents of a "dry" town, with the nearest state liquor store ten or more miles away!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXu9qgIFatE
D in California (where liquor is sold in a variety of establishments)
A good night's kip, sipping coffee outside in the morning sun with a smoke, and a damn good poo.
ReplyDeleteTo be clear, I was originally told that Kreme would be conducting the interview. Barrel-aged beer might just be my favorite thing.
ReplyDeleteIf you could re-up your splendid Garden Of Scented Sitars curatorial initiatives, you'll be doing the world a favor. Mine got lost on an external drive which bricked itself.
Delete