Yokolinda - The Duets Album

Part of Beatles mythology is the supposed antagonism between two of the most flamboyant “rock chicks” in the World of Pop - Yummy Yoko [Ono - Ed.] and Luscious Linda [McCartney - Ed.]! Nothing could be further from the truth! FMF can now “set the record😀 straight” with an exclusive interview granted by the talented twosome back in 1970, but unpublished anywhere until now! The interview took place at Bakersfield’s secluded Ernie’s Five Bucks A Nite Motel And Carwash, where the dishy duo were preparing their “top secret” duets album. They share the double bed and a pitcher of root beer as they talk, unashamedly displaying their affection and professional respect for each other during the interview.

FMF: Thanks for inviting me, girls. Nice room you got. View over the dumpsters.
YO: [giggles] We got a vibrating bed!
FMF: And your own casette recorder! Is that for your songs?
LM: We have like a bunch already? Gonna surprise a lot of people.
FMF: Could you describe your working methodology? How you write together?
YO: Hmm. I guess I’m, like, the tune thing happening? I have a melodic gift. So I like, you know, make my vocals in the shower and we record that and then Lin, who’s way more ... she’s ...
LM: [nods] I make the words. I guess you could say that words ... is my business.
FMF: What about instrumentation? I see a Bontempi Chord Organ over there.
LM: I am classically trained. Yoko does her sound art.
YO: I move around the room, hitting things? Places have voices - I set them free. And the bed motor is cool, like this primal heart beat.
LM: Chugga-chugga.
YO: That’s one of our songs, Chugga-Chugga. [feeds quarter into bed]

[---interview edit here---]

FMF: [zipping up] What will you do with the demo tape?
LM: [from shower] Demo tape? What?
YO: This is the Yokolinda album. Recorded live. No plastic overdubs.
LM: Pure music, raw talent. Like lentils. And straw.
YO: It will bring world peace. To the world!
FMF: Could you give me the titles of some other songs?
YO: There’s, uh, The Turnip Screams As She Is Torn From The Bloody Womb Of Mother Soil. That’s the single. It's like thirty minutes long!
LM: More like half an hour.
YO: And Pinky Poo Poo. Paul [McCartney - Ed.] wrote that one for us. It’s cute!
FMF: So your guys are cool with their old ladies doing their own thing?
LM: They give us our space. John [Lennon - Ed.]'s even paying all the recording costs. Bag of quarters for the bed. Everything.
YO: [counting off on fingers] And there's Chugga-Chugga ...
[one minute of tape silence here]
FMF: Okay. In the future, when there’s an internet, can I make the Yokolinda songs available free of charge? In case, you know, it’s never released as an album by a record label?
YO: [snorts] Ri-ight. Like that’s gonna happen.