Meet The Millennials!

Every month, False Memory Foam© will be handing over the keys to the blog to a random millennial! We're offering total editorial freedom to address the issues that impact their lives. No constraints. No censorship. Meet The Millennials will be a (finger-waggle) "safe space" for this exciting and provocative generation to start a conversation. Make a difference. Be woke!

To start the feature off with a bang, we asked Ethan Millennial (above, second left) to just let it all hang out! Let's do this, people!

Some organic pomade, yesterday

"'Kay well to start with I really don't see why I've been chosen as a white male I would not claim to be in any way representative of the diversity of the millennial demographic which as you can see inclusives all genders and non-genders and ethnicities/non-ethnicities equally right so I'd like to apologise to everyone for being a white male and having said that I'd like to platform the pomade community on the internet which is like in danger of factioning because the water-based pomade movement although in many ways behaving appropriately should not be IMHO hating on the otherly-based pomades which may be more appropriate for differently-haired peoples especially indigenous ... er ... is this over twitter length yet?"

Thanks, Ethan!